In today's story, Nicole shares about an unexpectedly brief, 6-hour, unmedicated first labor in a Long Island hospital with midwives and with the support of her husband and a doula. Before she goes into her birth story, she describes her background as a child life specialist in a hospital setting as well as her love for teaching prenatal yoga and pursuit of education in aromatherapy. She also details the ways she learned to really listen to and honor her body in slowing down, reflecting and journaling to connect with her baby. Listen to hear how, after her water breaks at home, Nicole decides to calmly make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast for not only her and her husband, but for a house guest from Japan whom JP brings home from the airport the very morning she goes into labor. They join up with their doula for the hour-long drive out on Long Island to their hospital, arriving simultaneously with their midwife pretty much just in time to push and give birth. She goes over newborn protocols and special requests she made and provides details about early challenges she and her baby faced in breastfeeding. Learn about a model of care that Nicole found to be super supportive, whereby a lactation consultant was in-house at her pediatrician’s office. Finally, Nicole shares about the benefits of prenatal yoga from the perspective of both a yoga teacher as well as from having continued the practice as a pregnant person.
Episode Topics:
Nicole’s background as a child life specialist, prenatal yoga teacher, and studying aromatherapy
Ways she prepared for the kind of birth she desired, listening to body and slowing down
Loses mucous plug the day before her grandmother’s birth date, which was the date she had a feeling her daughter would come
Water breaks while peeing
Contractions begin shortly thereafter
She decides to make breakfast for a house guest from Japan that her partner (JP) brings home from the airport
Things progress quickly; they call doula, who comes shortly thereafter
They do the hour-long drive to Huntington Hospital on Long Island, with JP driving and doula in back seat helping with comfort measures; Nicole gets urge to push in car
Arrive to hospital just in time to push
Pushing & giving birth on all fours
Newborn protocols -- Vitamin K, erythromycin, Hep B shot & Nicole’s special request to have them all be done in her presence
Early breastfeeding challenges, being patient with the process, partner support
Receiving lactation support at the pediatrician’s office thanks to an in-house lactation consultant
Benefits of prenatal yoga
Resources:
Supporting Her online class for partners
Debra Pascali Bonaro (doula trainer)
Astoria Pediatrics (NYC)
Bountiful Beautiful Blissful* (Great for yogis)
Spinning babies daily essentials video and email list for weekly updates
*Disclosure: Links on this page to products are affiliate links; I will receive a small commission on any products you purchase at no additional cost to you.
Transcript:
Lisa (00:00:00): You're listening to the Birth Matters Podcast, episode 28.
Nicole (00:00:03): And then my husband had to get up because he was picking up his friend at the airport who was visiting from Japan, who was going to spend the night with us. So he went to get him, and then I got up after he left, again, I'm like, "I might as well get up and get going." And I went to the bathroom and then my water broke. So I wanted pancakes. I was like, "I want a real breakfast before we go anywhere. I'm making pancakes." So I'm in the kitchen, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes, and then the contractions started around, like, eight o'clock. I'm like, "Okay. All right. I can handle these." A little intense for the minute or so, maybe 45 seconds at first, but I kept going, powered through. My husband came home with his friend from the airport, and I was like, "Well, we're having a baby today, so he can eat breakfast with us, but then we're going to have to find some other plans for him for tonight."
Lisa (00:00:59): Hey, there, and welcome to the Birth Matters Show. I'm your host, Lisa Greaves Taylor, founder of Birth Matters NYC Childbirth Education and Labor Support. This show is here to lessen your overwhelm on the journey into parenthood by equipping and encouraging you with current best evidence info and soulful interviews with parents and birth pros. Please keep in mind the information on the show is not intended as medical advice, or to diagnose or treat any medical conditions. Have you subscribed to the show yet? Please be sure to do that wherever you're listening to this or over at birthmattersshow.com so you don't miss out on anything.
Lisa (00:01:37): In today's story, Nicole shares about an unexpectedly brief, 6-hour, unmedicated first labor in a Long Island hospital with midwives and with the support of her husband and a doula. Before she goes into her birth story, she describes her background as a child life specialist in a hospital setting as well as her love for teaching prenatal yoga and pursuit of education in aromatherapy. She also details the ways she learned to really listen to and honor her body in slowing down, reflecting and journaling to connect with her baby. Listen to hear how, after her water breaks at home, Nicole decides to calmly make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast for not only her and her husband, but for a house guest from Japan whom JP brings home from the airport the very morning she goes into labor. They join up with their doula for the hour-long drive out on Long Island to their hospital, arriving simultaneously with their midwife pretty much just in time to push and give birth. She goes over newborn protocols and special requests she made and provides details about early challenges she and her baby faced in breastfeeding. Learn about a model of care that Nicole found to be super supportive, whereby a lactation consultant was in-house at her pediatrician’s office. Finally, Nicole shares about the benefits of prenatal yoga from the perspective of both a yoga teacher as well as from having continued the practice as a pregnant person.
Lisa (00:02:59): Before we start today's story, this episode is brought to you by an online course called SupportingHer. For couples who decide it's preferred for their spouse or partner to provide active support for the laboring person, those partners have a vital role to play toward a great birth. Created by expert birth educator and doula (and my friend) Alice Turner, SupportingHer is an easily consumable online class that teaches tips, techniques and actionable skills to help you take care of your partner and yourself during labor and birth. You’ll learn how to define your role in labor, communicate with hospital staff, provide physical and verbal support and deal with any curve balls. SupportingHer is an easy way to learn all you need to know, at your own pace, in less than two hours from your computer or phone. I like to point out the fun fact that this class was recorded in a brewery, which helps it feel more like a relaxed conversation with a friend. To grab this course for only $49 and start building partner’s confidence today or to learn more, visit birthmattersnyc.com/links and click the button for the SupportingHer online course. You can also find a link in the show notes for this episode. Now let's get started with today's birth story.
Lisa (00:04:14): Welcome to the Birth Matters Podcast. Today I have Nicole with me. Welcome, Nicole.
Nicole (00:04:19): Hello. Thank you for having me.
Lisa (00:04:21): It's so great to see you. So how long ago did you give birth? Not too long ago.
Nicole (00:04:26): No. Frankie is five-and-a-half-months old. So she was born on August 17, 2019.
Lisa (00:04:35): Great. And you returned to work not too long ago, right? About a month ago or so, or two months?
Nicole (00:04:41): Yes. Right before Christmas.
Lisa (00:04:43): Yeah. How has that transition been?
Nicole (00:04:45): It's been, it's been really good. We're very lucky that we're in the position where I could go back part-time to work and my husband, he works some from home and then does freelance. So he takes care of Frankie when I'm at work. We're kind of playing do-si-do and that makes it a lot easier I think to leave her, because I know she's having a blast with her daddy.
Lisa (00:05:07): That's so great. I love that. That's what my husband and I did, tag teamed. It's nice when you have work schedules that can accommodate that. You know, most, I feel like most people don't have that. But it is nice if you're able to swing it. Do you want to share a little bit about what you do for a living?
Nicole (00:05:23): Yeah, so I do a few different things. Sometimes a jack-of-all-trades, but I primarily—right now I'm a child life specialist at Cohen Children's Medical Center and I've been there for 10 years. I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary there.
Lisa (00:05:39): Congratulations.
Nicole (00:05:39): Thank you. And so, and most people don't know what that is, but a child....
Lisa (00:05:43): I was about to ask.
Nicole (00:05:44): Like, "What does that mean?" It's sort of like a counselor-slash-educator-slash life coach for kids, I kind of call it, in the medical setting specifically, and I work in surgery, so I help prepare children and their families for going to the operating room and the surgical process. So we do lots of medical play. We do—for the older kids, it's education on what's happening that day and what anesthesia is and how they're going to fall asleep. Just to eliminate as much fear around the process as we can and try to promote positive coping in that setting.
Lisa (00:06:22): Oh wow. That sounds like such important work. And is there a specific degree you needed in order to pursue that work?
Nicole (00:06:29): There are some, there's very few schools that have child life specifically as a degree. Bank Street College in Manhattan is the closest one here that has a full child life program. But otherwise a lot of people come from different angles, which is really cool. My background was in elementary education originally. Some people have special education training, others are more from the psychology and child development background. And then there's specific training you have to do for child life. But it's a lot of fun. I have a blast. So that's my—that's part-time at the hospital. And then I also am a yoga teacher and I love teaching prenatal yoga, which I'm sure we'll talk about. And I'm also at...
Lisa (00:07:12): Where do you teach?
Nicole (00:07:12): Oh, right now I'm actually—I took a break from teaching since I had Frankie. Previously I was teaching at two different places in Astoria: at The Yoga Studio, which was previously The Giving Tree—that was my home. That's where I learned from the very start. And then also at Matrix Fitness. I taught there, too. So I had a lot of fun teaching. I can't wait to get back into it. I'm feeling ready now.
Lisa (00:07:39): Great.
Nicole (00:07:40): And then I also am in aromatherapy school so...
Lisa (00:07:44): And what caused you to want to pursue that?
Nicole (00:07:47): I fell in love with essential oils when I did—one of my yoga trainings included, it's a class called Aroma Yin, which is a beautiful class and it's super relaxing and it includes essential oils and aromatherapy into a yin yoga practice. And once I learned just, like, a little bit about them, I dove into, like, a full self-study of essential oils and loved them so much, I knew I had to—just for myself and for our own home of using sort of alternative medicine, the essential oils are just incredible. So working on that, too, in the few minutes here and there now when I have time to get that done. My goal is to finish that in the next couple of months.
Lisa (00:08:35): Nice. And have you thought about what you'd like to do with it besides just for your personal benefit?
Nicole (00:08:40): I am. I'm sort of working on that. That's my own personal business. I call it Moving Peace, which you can follow me or drop that at @movingpeace and that's m-o-v-i-n-g-p-e-a-c-e. You know, you're finding your own peace of mind is sort of a culmination of that self-study and exploration for bringing those things together of yoga and essential oils and meditation and I'm not really sure where it's leading me. I really just dove into it for my own interests, but I feel like it fits so well with the other things that I work on and use. I'm even working on getting the aromatherapy brought into the hospital setting a bit more, so there's so much you can do with it. It's like I need to hone in on exactly where I want to go because my mind just quickly goes to all these different places.
Lisa (00:09:40): There are so many things!
Nicole (00:09:41): So many ways to use it and so many things you can do.
Lisa (00:09:45): Nice. And I'd love to hear as you launch into your birth story in a few minutes, just, like, how—what you used in labor along those lines.
Nicole (00:09:53): Sure. Yeah.
Lisa (00:09:55): Nice. And I'll be sure to include your website and your social media info in our show notes so listeners can go there if they want.
Nicole (00:10:04): Thank you.
Lisa (00:10:05): So next, why don't we talk about—if you'd like to share your prenatal journey and how—what was that like? What did you do to prepare for birth and the entry into parenthood, all that?
Nicole (00:10:20): Yeah, so I did my prenatal yoga training actually almost two years ago now, which is crazy. I'm like, "Oh my gosh, that was two years ago?" And when once I did that training, I knew that that was, like, a path I was going to follow in terms of my work that, like, my yoga teaching and also working with children and families, I really wanted to focus on pregnancy and birth and working with mothers and families and preparing for that process. And I've always been obsessed with birth and not really—I'm just, like, super interested in it, love watching videos and hearing people's stories and once I did the prenatal training and had this, like, totally new world opened up to me, I just thought that, like, "This is fascinating. I can't wait to go on this journey myself, like, when we're ready to start a family."
Nicole (00:11:20): And I just, I knew that there was something so, so important about that work and it really became even more clear once we did start our own family and once we did get pregnant. So once we got pregnant, I knew that teaching yoga was going to be helpful for me because it would force me to do yoga at least once a week. And then I tried to take advantage of all that practice that I had and really use that to help ground myself when I was feeling a little stressed out. Also, the stretching was really helpful. I had some sciatic pain that started pretty early. Like maybe week 14 I could no longer lay flat. And I learned that while teaching yoga and went, "Oh wow, that is a different sensation than I've ever felt before." And being a very, very active person, that was a little hard for me and it was a huge lesson in slowing down.
Nicole (00:12:17): So that even jumpstarted, like, a different mindset in how I needed to approach pregnancy and my self-care, was to take a step back and not do so much. And that was really hard.
Lisa (00:12:31): Yeah, that can be especially challenging for fitness professionals or people who are really used to trusting their body and pushing their body. But it's good that you were able to, or kind of maybe just by necessity, you noticed that, and had to adapt.
Nicole (00:12:46): Yeah. Yeah. That was really big. So, so that—even just being able to say no to things was hard at first, but it became—it got to the point where it was physically impossible for me to agree to cover other classes, or, you know, do some of the other activities I was used to doing, and so I turned more to more education. I did a ton of reading. I have a whole list of books, too, that I'd be happy to share. One of my favorites was "Mama Natural," such a great book. It encompasses so much information and covers so much. It's a great, great book and I use it now as a gift when I have friends who find out that they're expecting, I send that to them. So that was really, really helpful. And it has recipes so I would, you know—it was helping me because I was also really, really nauseous in the beginning. The first trimester was tough, but that was also a whole 'nother lesson in slowing down—really forced me to rest, to sleep, and sort of lead into those more subdued practices of more meditation, journaling. I did a lot of writing, a lot of journaling in the beginning, which is really cool to look back on now.
Nicole (00:14:01): And I even started a journal for Frankie, my daughter, that's written just to her. Like, I wrote it to her while I was pregnant.
Lisa (00:14:12): I love that. Oh, that's so sweet.
Nicole (00:14:14): It felt really good every time I did that. It was a really great way to connect to the baby and ground me again, just keep me centered and really focused on this journey, because it goes by so fast. I know for me it did. A lot of people say, like, "Oh my pregnancy felt like forever." And for me it just kept zipping by and I wanted to really stay present to it. So that writing really helped, and it also is so cool to look back on, because that mom brain thing is real and I would forget certain things and be like, "Oh my God, I can't remember." You know, "When did we do this?" Or "What? Was I even..." I don't know, 17 questions will come up in one minute of what I'm forgetting. So that's really cool to look back on and reread. And then now I'm making it a part of, like, my book of Frankie, her little, like—I have a book that we put photos in and we write little things that she's doing each month and all her milestones. So it's cool to include those things.
Lisa (00:15:13): That's such a great idea to have something that spans from pregnancy, starts there. Because often people's baby books don't start until after birth, but, like, they're there for so many months before. That's really beautiful.
Nicole (00:15:27): Right. And the other thing that was really important to me, too, which I try to instill in my prenatal yoga classes, because that just—that class is so important to me, is that there is so much fear around—for a lot of people, there's a lot of fear around pregnancy, around labor and birth. And then stepping into parenthood is a whole new chapter of life. And I have a lot of friends that were really struggling with anxieties and a lot of students coming to my classes would open up and share about things that they were really afraid of or scared of. And I feel like sometimes that can take away so much of the joy that your pregnancy can be, when you do feel good and when you do have the energy that you want to have. And so, you know, using things like meditation, like yoga, like just walks, just slowing down and writing and reflecting a lot, just—it really helped me stay present to it and enjoy my pregnancy as much as I could.
Lisa (00:16:30): I love that so much. I hope that listeners are really hearing that, because this is a time in our life, we just need to slow down. We need to reflect, we need to give ourselves that space and the breath. And prenatal yoga is such a beautiful way, so is journaling and the—everything you were just mentioning—such great ways to connect with your baby and to just honor your body and honor this huge metamorphic time in life.
Nicole (00:17:00): Yes. Yeah, that's another thing, too, that I think, for some people—they might feel really stressed out or sometimes upset about how their body's changing, too. And there were moments of that for me, too. Or like when I wanted to do things or wanted to lift things or, you know, wanted to do an activity that I knew kind of in my gut, like, "I just don't feel comfortable doing this anymore." That was hard and a hard adjustment to make, and that, like you're saying, honoring the changes that are happening in your body—when you can see it in a more positive light as often as you can, I feel like it also really just helped the comfortability with "my body's not going to be the same ever again." Like, this is changing, but at the end of almost 10 months you have a baby! Like, there's a new human that's in this world. So finding those ways to honor yourself and really take care of you is also what I've been finding is really helpful now, being a mom, to remind myself to do those things again. Or how important it is to just take a walk or pop in a podcast or do that journaling to reconnect because it's very easy, once you get busy with a little one, to lose that and lose that time.
Lisa (00:18:22): Yes, it is. One other thing you were just bringing up that I want to point out is so many of my students who come to class here in New York City—it's a very busy place—so many people express a lot of anxiety, which is I think, you know, a combination of the fears of what lies ahead, but also just the state of living in New York tends to be stressful.
Nicole (00:18:49): Right.
Lisa (00:18:49): And so it's all the more important for those of us who live in an urban environment that is fast-paced, especially in New York, I think it's all the more important to really slow down and honor this time. So I'm so glad you're talking about all of this .
Nicole (00:19:04): Yeah. Yeah. And so we did all of that, and then the education piece was huge for me. That was really important, and I wanted to walk my talk, and so we were interested in doing a birth education class. We did a lot of research around that. And I had posted a request on Momily, the Astoria mom group, and I got so many recommendations to take your class. They're like, "Birth Matters!", like, "Find Lisa! Go take her class!" And so we chose to do the online portion. Just for scheduling reasons that was easier for us. And then we got to do the in-person comfort measures class with you, which was really helpful. And that—the education piece for me, that's my thing is, like, in order for me to feel more relaxed and excited about something is to feel over-prepared. I want to know something backwards and forwards so that I have no questions before walking in the door, which—with birth, you're going to have questions, and you can't control everything that's going to happen, of course. But it really— that just made me feel so much more relaxed about the whole process.
Lisa (00:20:09): And I think that tends to be, for New Yorkers, the approach. More information is better. That's not true for everybody. Some people find it more anxiety-producing, but for those of us who do find that equipping really helps us settle into things with more peace and more trust, yeah, I think, and I'm one of those as well, which is probably one reason that I'm doing this work.
Nicole (00:20:38): Yes. Yeah. Oh, and the other thing is, too, I totally forgot about this. I did my doula training in January of last year, so a year ago, actually a year ago today. And I did that—really, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a doula, but again, it was, like, this fascination with birth. This was a cool time to do it. I wanted to be present for my sister's birth because she has a baby four months older than my daughter Francesca. So they have cousins so close in age, which is so fun. And so I thought I would go for it and do the training. It was really helpful for my own birth, and for a lot of friends, because I have a lot of pregnant mama friends, and I just really love being the person to reach out to and answer questions and help support others, too.
Lisa (00:21:22): And who did you do that training with?
Nicole (00:21:25): I did that training with Debra.
Lisa (00:21:29): Pascali-Bonaro.
Nicole (00:21:30): Yes. Pascali-Bonaro at Birth Day Presence in Brooklyn, and it was so amazing. I've told my friends who are interested in that world, like, if you can swing it, for the time and the money, it was just such a beautiful training. Even if you're not interested in being, like, a professional doula, just to—sometimes you might be present for a sister's birth, for a friend's birth, a stranger's birth. You never know, I guess, right? It was just such a beautiful training to connect with other women. And actually we did have a man in our training, too, which was really awesome. It was great. It was so cool. If there's a training that I'm slightly interested in, I will probably jump on it if I can do it. Because it's just more education for me. It's so fun.
Lisa (00:22:15): I'm the same way, and I actually would love to take her training, even though I've done the basic training, you know, 10 years ago I did, but I didn't do it with her and I just would love that different perspective.
Nicole (00:22:25): She's incredible. She's really incredible. She's a force, and really held such a beautiful space for us to learn and connect in.
Lisa (00:22:33): Yeah, I'll be sure to link to her website in the show notes.
Nicole (00:22:38): Cool.
Lisa (00:22:39): Wonderful. Anything else you want to talk about prenatally before you launch into your birth story?
Nicole (00:22:44): The only other thing, to bring back the aromatherapy piece, that I'll mention just for mamas who might be interested: there are specific essential oils that are safe during pregnancy that you can use to help with nausea in the beginning, if that's something—really throughout, if that's proving itself difficult. Which it was in the beginning for me. I really leaned into that. My sense of smell was insanely heightened. I, like, I was at, like, at the very top of the spectrum on that one. Like, JP, my husband, would open the bread bag in the kitchen. I'd be, like, in the bedroom, like, "I smell bread! Shut the bag!" It was, like, ridiculous. And that was tough. So I made these little aromatherapy, little sniffy sticks and they're super easy to make and I, actually, I will put instructions on that on Movingpeace if someone is interested to check that out. It's so easy and I would just keep 'em in my pocket and just waft it under my nose or just take a deep breath if there was something else in the space, wherever I was, that was bothering me. That was super, super helpful.
Lisa (00:23:48): You do have to be more careful about, like, topical and of course internal use in pregnancy. So this is more of a just diffusing kind of...
Nicole (00:23:56): Exactly. Yeah. Aromatic is the way to go, especially in the beginning of pregnancy. It's very, very safe to diffuse or use these little diffuser sticks.
Lisa (00:24:07): Nice. Thank you for adding that. That's great to know. And I will eagerly look at your instructions on your website for that. I actually bought some of the supplies to make those and I just, I never quite got around to doing it yet, so this'll maybe motivate me to actually do it. Great. Well, do you want to go ahead and launch into your birth story? You can start, like, in the weeks leading up or days leading up or wherever you want.
Nicole (00:24:32): Okay. Yeah. So when I was about 30 weeks along, the Braxton Hicks contractions began, and they were very intense. In the beginning, I wasn't even sure that's what they were. It made me very nervous with this, like, really intense tightening. It was at the top of my belly more. Some people say that it's lower. For me, it was very high. I had gotten a lot of energy back in the second trimester, right? And then third trimester those contractions really were kicking my butt and, again, reminding me to slow down, like, take a break, pump the brakes. So I did that and staying super hydrated was—that made a big, big difference. I drank so much water. It was, like, when I thought I drank enough, I'd drink more. And then more. So I didn't stop going to the bathroom. It was, like, constant peeing. But it was really worth it because I could feel the difference with the hydration and with rest.
Nicole (00:25:29): And that was as per my midwife, like, whenever I would check in with her, she was, like, "Take a rest and drink more water." So that was really helpful. Then when...that continued all the way through, really towards the end. When I was about 36 weeks, I want to say, along, I could definitely feel a difference in my belly. Like, it started to feel like it was dropping and I was carrying very low. I ....
Nicole (00:25:58): Oh, I hear the little Gidget. I hear the little one. She heard my story. She's, like, "Mommy, you're telling my story without me." I'm going to give her a minute, though. We're working on the solo nap business right now, so we're going to give her a second. So then it was about 30—I was 38 weeks and five days when I went into labor. Yes. She was, like, a smidge early, but that was my request to her. The entire pregnancy I kept saying to her, I'm, like, "I feel like you're really due on August 18th," I kept saying "August 18th." It's my grandmother's birthday. And she was born on the 17th, so she listened. Very close to her date. And on a Friday—it was a Friday night. I didn't feel great. Friday I kind of stayed in bed all day. I did some painting, which I hadn't done in a long time. I took out my watercolors. And I did some writing. There she is, let me grab her. He's going to grab my little honey so she can come and sit and join the convo. And then I felt better in the evening. And so I, a friend and I went for a really long walk around Astoria. I think I might've walked, like, a mile and a half, which, thinking about that now, I'm like, what, was I nuts? Really far, but I felt pretty good.
Nicole (00:27:24): So I had a smoothie. And it was really hot because it was August and we took our time. We just took a nice little walk around Astoria. And then I brought a pizza home. We ate, I ate a little pizza with my husband. I went to bed late after I finished packing my bag that night and then I woke up at, like, three in the morning. I was starving and he was up editing. I'm like, "What are you doing?" Like, "You can't stay up late like this anymore." Like, "What if I have the baby soon and you're going to go into labor being, like, on no sleep." And he's, like, "I'll come to bed, I'll come to bed." I ate a piece of pizza and then I wrote in my journal, this is now August 17th. I wrote in my journal about—"I think you're going to come this week. I was hoping you'll be here on Sunday, so maybe you'll surprise me and be here on the day that I've been requesting." And then I went back to bed and then I woke up at 6:30, just, like, three and a half hours later and I lost my mucus plug. And I was—I, like, ran out of the bathroom. I woke up my husband—I was like, "Oh my God, I'm so excited. I think I'm losing my mucus plug." And I'm like—then I'm thinking "Are people excited for this?" Like, is this the normal reaction to have? Because this—I'm texting my sister and then I texted my doula and I was really excited. And then I felt like maybe I should go back to bed, because I really didn't get that much sleep, just in case this is really happening today. Then I thought—some people lose it and then they don't have a baby for a week, so who knows?
Nicole (00:28:49): So I went back to bed. I couldn't sleep because I was too excited. And then my husband had to get up because he was picking up his friend at the airport who was visiting from Japan. He was going to spend the night with us. So he went to get him and then I got up after he left again and I'm, like, "I might as well get up and get going." And I went to the bathroom and then my water broke. And I wasn't sure it was my water, because it's tricky, right? When you're peeing and water's coming out. It's, like, is this...? I don't know. Is this happening? Am I sure about it?
Lisa (00:29:20): And around what time is this?
Nicole (00:29:21): This is 7:30 AM, about. Peanut, do you want to come join me? Yeah, you can come sit with me. Hi!
Lisa (00:29:33): Oh my goodness! Look at those cheeks.
Nicole (00:29:35): Yeah, we've got cheeks for days. Hi, want to come sit? Should we tell her the rest of your story? Because it happened very quickly.
Lisa (00:29:43): You were eager to come.
Nicole (00:29:45): Very eager. Yes. So, so yeah, so water broke at seven—around 7:30, and then I, yeah, we were, I was excited. I was, like, "This is happening today!" So again, I alert my doula, Felicia, who's incredible, and I called my midwife and let her know and—her name is Laura, and she's just, like, super calm, and on the phone she's like, "Okay, that's great. It was probably your water. Why don't you, you know, get thinking about moving in this direction?" Because the hospital we chose to give birth at was about an hour from us. So we knew we had a decent ride, so we didn't want to wait too late to leave, but I also am thinking, like, "This is my first baby. This is—everyone's telling me this is going to take, you know, on average does it—you can correct me. It's, like, between 12 and 18 hours, maybe. Could be days, we don't know." So I didn't want to rush there either. So I wanted pancakes. I was like, "I want a real breakfast before we go anywhere. I'm making pancakes." So I'm in the kitchen, I'm making chocolate chip pancakes. And then the contractions started around, like, eight o'clock. Like, "Okay. All right. I can handle these. A little intense for a minute or so." They were about, they were about a minute, maybe 45 seconds at first, but I kept going, powered through. My husband came home with his friend from the airport and I was, like, "Well, we're having a baby today. So he can eat breakfast with us, but then we're going to have to find some other plans for him for tonight."
Nicole (00:31:17): And so he was surprised. And of course JP had been up all night editing. So he was on, like, a couple hours sleep. I just knew that was going to happen. And so we all sat down, we had breakfast together and then I had to excuse myself about halfway through pancakes because it really got intense. So I went to take a hot shower because I was feeling a lot of back labor. The pain was mostly for me in—or the intensity was mostly my lower back. Yeah. And so moving and the hot water really, really helped. So I just hung out in the bathroom for a while and realized that this was moving really fast. I started tracking, on an app, my contractions and I let my doula know it was moving really quickly. So she was headed towards us around 10:00 AM and then she walked in the door around, I want to say 11, maybe 11 she had got to us. And I could no longer finish my sentences. I was totally in active labor. It was moving so fast and the contractions were maybe eight minutes apart. And so we knew it was, like, "We got to get in the car right now or we are not going to make it." So my poor husband was trying to read my mind because I would start a sentence, I'm like, "Get the..." And I couldn't finish it. And he's, like, running around, like kind of a nut, just, like. And Felicia's great. She walked in the door, she was like, "Okay, let's grab the bag. We need a couple of towels for the car. Right." We grabbed the headphones for my, I had a, she had prepared a playlist for me that was, like, a hypnobirthing guided meditation, really helpful. And we got in the car and we boogied. And the car ride was really hard. That was, I was, must've been in transition in the car. So it was very, very intense. That back labor was really tough. Thank God we had Felicia in the car with us so JP could focus on driving. And she sat in the back seat with me and gave me lots of back massages.
Lisa (00:33:31): Couple of quick things I wanted to ask: when your waters released or broke, was it a big gush or was it sort of a trickle or...?
Nicole (00:33:39): It was, it was more of a trickle. The first, the first one was more of a trickle when my waters broke, and then in the car—thank goodness Felicia also said "grab towels," because we would've made a mess in the car otherwise—I felt another gush right as we approached the hospital and that felt more like a gush. And then when I stood up to get out of the car, it was another gush of water. Yeah.
Lisa (00:34:03): The other thing I just wanted to mention for listeners who are learning about this process is the eight minute frequency—that's pretty far apart in terms of...usually that's not active labor, but birth is not linear. And we can't always trust the whole textbook thing. And it sounds like you just knew, based on the length, and the strength more, that this is serious business. So I just wanted to mention that.
Nicole (00:34:28): Oh, totally. And the other thing that kind of alerted me, other than not being able to finish my sentences, which I knew—I had heard many times, like, that is really a sign that you need to move it if you're not in the space where you're going to give birth, or where you're planning to give birth. And the other thing for me was the speed to which I had moved already. Like, waters broke at seven, eight, like, seven, seven-thirty, and this was only at 10:00 AM, so it was only a couple hours. I was feeling like, "This is not going to take all day. This is happening now."
Lisa (00:35:02): Great. Yeah. So, so back to the car.
Nicole (00:35:05): Yeah. So we, so we, the car ride was really tough. Felicia was massaging me a lot and she just kept putting the ear bud back in my ear if it fell out, to keep focused on the guided meditation.
Lisa (00:35:20): Do you remember what kind of position or positions, plural, you were in, in the car?
Nicole (00:35:24): Yeah, I had some pillows with me too, so I was, I was on my side at first, like, sort of leaning into the window, which felt good at first, and then it was just really hard to, it felt like it was really hard to be sitting. And I imagine if I had not been in the car and already was in the space where I was going to give birth, I would have wanted to be moving. Like, I had this urge to just lean forward and I was grabbing onto the driver's seat—poor JP, because I was sitting behind him—I was grabbing onto the driver's seat and sort of pulling myself forward and using that as something to grip onto. Because that also felt really good in those moments of high intensity was to squeeze, which I also remembered you telling us in your class, like, "If you have rings on, take them off before, just in case you're in those intense squeezes, you don't hurt somebody's fingers.
Lisa (00:36:26): And your doula was massaging you. Do you remember what parts of your body?
Nicole (00:36:30): My lower back mostly. She just sort of really kept that pressure. Almost like a pressure pointing on my lower back, like, by my sacrum. And then hip squeezes, too, were really helpful. And she also did the pressure point in between my thumb and index finger.
Lisa (00:36:50): To strengthen your contractions?
Nicole (00:36:54): Well that was to distract me from the pain more.
Lisa (00:36:59): Oh interesting. Because that is a pressure point that can strengthen and lengthen contractions. But it didn't sound like you needed any help with that.
Nicole (00:37:05): Definitely didn't need help with that. Maybe that was once we got to the hospital she did those, I could be confusing that.
Lisa (00:37:12): Because you're in labor land at this point, right? All sense of time...
Nicole (00:37:15): Yeah. In some ways it sort of mushes together. Totally. Yeah. And so then we got to the hospital, we rolled right up to the emergency room. We knew that we had to go through that way because I felt like, at that point when we drove up to emergency, I was holding back pushing. I could feel this intense, very, like, instinctual sense to bear down and push. But I knew "I can't do that right now unless I want to have this baby in the car." Right Frankie? Unless you were going to pop out in the car. So I was really holding back on that as much as I could.
Lisa (00:37:53): What hospital was this?
Nicole (00:37:55): This is at Huntington Hospital on Long Island, and we went there because they have a really—it's an amazing hospital. It's beautiful. And they have a really amazing midwifery practice within the hospital. So Lauren knew that we were on our way. Felicia also texted my midwife to tell her that things were moving really fast, because it was a Saturday, just to make sure that she was there and ready to go. And I think that was really important, too, in terms of communication. And so Laura was ready. She was there and in the ED when we got—in the Emergency Department—when we got there, and they just took me in a wheelchair, scooted me straight to labor and delivery. And they stopped my husband to ask him all sorts of crazy questions, which—I don't think the person who was admitting us realized how quickly this was moving. And so she's asking him things like, "Is your wife a veteran? Is she?" And he's, like, "Lady, I gotta go! I can answer these later." And he's, like, running behind us. And by the time he got to the room, I was already on the bed and the nurse was putting my IV in. Like, I had stripped off my—I had, like, a little nightgown on, and things were really moving quickly. So as soon as I crawled onto the bed, I just assumed hands and knees, the position of being on hands and knees, sort of like cat-cow. And that's what felt good to me. And the midwife was totally cool with that. So she checked me in that position. I was fully dilated, and she said, "The next contraction, push. Give it a try. Like, go for it, girl." And so I did.
Nicole (00:39:38): And it, it, it's so interesting to me to hear birth stories, too, I'm so interested in what women feel in that moment of—like, some people say that they feel the sensation to bear down and push, and others are—it's hard for them to know when to do that. And they really lean into the coaching for that. And I felt it—to me it was just so instinctual. It was like, this very, like, I want to use the word like "tribal" and—there's a word I'm missing but I just maybe.
Lisa (00:40:11): Maybe primal?
Nicole (00:40:11): Primal, primal is the word I meant to say. Yes. Thank you. Very primal. Where—to be on my hands and knees, I had, like, a pillow underneath my chest. I was holding either my husband or Felicia's hand on one side. I had this really great nurse, the delivery nurse on the other side of me, you know, reminding me to breathe. And Felicia used, like—I was so hot, I was really hot. Like, didn't want anything touching my skin. I did not. It was like, instantly not caring about being naked in front of a lot of people and, you know, with your bum in the air in cat-cow. Like, "My butt's facing everyone." I did have that thought. I'm like, "My butt's totally in the air and everyone is looking at that." And then it was about maybe 30, 40 minutes max of pushing, and Frankie was here, which was just, like, an incredible shock. I think there was more shock than anything for me. I wanted to say something else about pushing before I went into that...
Lisa (00:41:18): Were they...it sounds like you didn't need any coaching because you were having the urge, but what was everybody around you doing?
Nicole (00:41:25): Yeah, so I had, I had requested as much silence as possible for the moment of pushing for her birth. I really didn't want it to be a noisy space. I wanted to be able to hear her. I wanted her to hear my voice or my husband's voice first if possible, you know, if everything was going well. And so the nurse, my midwife was—Laura was so incredible in that way where she's very grounded, she's very calm. There was no sense—even though this was moving so fast and there was an urgency to what was happening around me—she didn't feel, I didn't get the feeling from her that anything was wrong, that I should be worried in any fashion. So that—her even-keeled energy was super helpful for me because I didn't stress out at all. I was just really in the moment. And I had my eyes closed for most of it, too. It's just how I stayed really in my zone was keeping my eyes closed.
Nicole (00:42:29): And the nurse who was with me was great at coaching, in terms of—what I asked for was more quiet, but I needed a little help on knowing how long to hold the push. Like that to me felt a little confusing at first because my body was telling me to bear down. But then in my—I got a little bit in my head where I was thinking, "Is it good for me to hold it longer, or should I, like, let go when I don't feel the contraction anymore?" And so I asked for that help from her and so I could hear it was, I think it was going from Laura, the midwife who was kind of down below watching, and I could feel her sort of checking and—not that she was massaging, but sort of moving her hands in a way that was helping to guide Frankie's head out as she was crowning. And then the nurse would just tell me how long to hold. She would give me that instruction so that I knew when to let go, if I could hold it that long.
Lisa (00:43:39): Was your midwife doing some lubrication, maybe, and then some prenatal massage, a little bit of stretching that area out?
Nicole (00:43:45): I think a little bit of stretching maybe.
Lisa (00:43:48): Yeah. That's pretty standard among midwives and OBs. Yeah. Do you remember feeling the ring of fire? The intense burning, the stretching?
Nicole (00:43:55): Yeah, I do. There was—and she kind of let me know that was about to happen, I guess based on watching Frankie and knowing that her head was right there ready to come. She told me that, like, "The next push, her head's right there, so you're gonna feel that intensity." And to me it definitely felt like it's explained. It felt like the ring of fire, but it was—I don't know if someone would, like, slap me for saying this—but it really didn't feel that bad. It was like, I feel like it was a little more hyped up to me, or to kind of feel, like, scared about it, than it really had to be, but maybe that was also because the transition was so hard in the car, at that point I was like, "Oh, this is nothing, and I'm ready to meet this baby."
Nicole (00:44:43): Like, after that—transition was tough. And I can imagine for women who are in labor for much longer—like, I was exhausted at that point. It had only been, like, six hours. So I really feel for people who are, you know, pushing for a much longer duration.
Lisa (00:45:04): I just wanted to ask you, when you mentioned your hospital, that's a rare place for my students here in the city to go. What was the journey like in finding your care provider and finding, deciding to go with that hospital?
Nicole (00:45:19): Sure. That's a—yes, that was a big piece of it, actually. At first I really wanted to do a home birth. I was really set on that, but there was a few things holding us back. I mean the space—physically, we didn't have a great space to have a home birth. Like, the apartment we were living in, I just don't think that would have been the best scenario. Yeah. And then insurance was another big piece of it. I work for Northwell Health, so I needed to find a provider within Northwell. And the midwifery practice at Huntington is the only one within Northwell that is based in the hospital setting and that would be fully covered for me. So that's what brought us that far away from the city. But then once I got there and I walked into that hospital, I was like, "I don't care how far it is, I'm having the baby here." The midwives, all four of them, really, are so incredible. They made us instantly feel so comfortable. And it's not a city hospital. Not to poo-poo on the city at all, but the vibe there, the energy there is calm. It is quiet, it has this community hospital feeling, but with the safety of a well-equipped full hospital setting. It was everything you needed there, plus a really nice quiet, calm setting. So it was the best of all the worlds for us.
Lisa (00:46:48): And about how long did that drive take from Astoria?
Nicole (00:46:50): It took a full hour. It was a full hour.
Lisa (00:46:53): Sounds really worth it. But was that scary, though, when you're in the heat of labor?
Nicole (00:46:59): A little bit. We were really lucky. It was Saturday morning and there wasn't that much traffic. And I, yeah, if there was traffic, if it was a different time of day, we would have had this baby in the car. She would've been born on the LIE. Which would have been okay, too. Right, Frankie? We would have done it.
Lisa (00:47:18): But coming back to the moments of birth.
Nicole (00:47:20): Yeah. So then, you know I was on hands and knees so it took a moment to kind of get ourselves together. I had to flip myself over to sit down so I could hold her. And their practice, their standard practice at Huntington, as long as everything's good and well with baby and mama, is to have a full hour of skin-to-skin. And that's what we got. Which we were so, so happy to have. And I dunno, I had some expectations going in of what that moment would be, like, of, like, am I gonna cry and be really emotional? Am I gonna...? I dunno. I kind of thought that I would be, but I honestly think the shock value that this baby came so fast, I just didn't even have a moment at that point to feel that. I was just sitting there and I have a picture, which I can crop a little bit so you don't see my parts, but that I can add to your show notes, because I think it's just beautiful and fascinating, of my midwife handing the baby to me, and it's just this face of complete, like, awe and shock. And I was just sitting there, like, "I was just making pancakes and I have a baby! There's a baby with us right now on me, and I'm meeting her. And it was really incredible. It was just such a cool moment.
Lisa (00:48:44): Have you heard of a concept called the birth pause?
Nicole (00:48:46): Yes. Yeah.
Lisa (00:48:48): Yeah. Because sometimes it is almost, like, too much all at once, especially when it happens as quickly as it did for you. Sometimes we need a minute before having baby thrust on our chest, you know, to just kind of, like, "What just happened?" That little pause.
Nicole (00:49:06): Yeah, I can totally appreciate the pause. And it was beautiful. It was really exciting and wild, and—I know!—and just nuts. It just felt totally nuts. Like, my husband and I were looking at each other, like, "This is our baby. How did this happen?" Yeah, it was really cool. And the nurses were awesome there, too. Like, they really gave us our space. They didn't—we didn't feel rushed. We didn't feel—I'm trying to think if there was, there was...the only thing was her temperature, that she was, like, a little bit cool. So they wanted at first to bring her to the warmer, and I just asked, "Can you—can we grab an extra blanket instead and just try that first few minutes on me?" And they let they let us do that and.
Lisa (00:49:53): Yay. Mama's the best warmer.
Nicole (00:49:55): Yeah. That's kind of—in my head, I was, like, "Hm, I'm really hot. So I think that I could warm her up right now. I'm still sweating." We were sweaty messes. And then things really, like, that hour went by so fast, that first—the hour of skin-to-skin and having time with her. I looked at the clock, I couldn't believe it when they were already, like, ready to get us moving a little bit and measure her and see how long she was, and how big she was. She was six pounds 12 ounces, and she was 18 inches long. A little peanut, huh? Just the right size for her small mommy. I'm tiny, too. So it was perfect. And then our families were already, you know, knocking down the door, and I asked for everyone to give us some time because I wasn't ready to see everybody. I really wanted a little more space. And then she needed her vitamin K shot, and she also got the other vaccine, the T ...what is that one?
Lisa (00:50:57): Well, the eye gel? The Erythromycin? Is that what you're thinking of?
Nicole (00:50:59): Yeah. She got that but then she did need another vaccine.
Lisa (00:51:02): Maybe Hep-B.
Nicole (00:51:03): Yes, that's what it was. And my request to that was, I was okay with doing the vaccines at the time of birth, but I wanted to be present for them, and also for them to, like, do all of her check with the pediatrician who was going to check her out. So it was kind of funny because when they said, "Okay, we're going to bring her to the nursery for the vitamin K and bring you to, like, the post—the recovery area, and then, like, we will sort of reunite baby and you once you get there. And I was, like, "Uh, could I be there for that process?" And they were—it was funny, because they kind of, they were, like, "Oh yeah, that would be fine."
Nicole (00:51:47): It was, like, they didn't have a problem with it, but it just hadn't...I guess they don't get that request as often. So that's what we did. Yeah. Right, Frankie? We went to the nursery together and the NP checked you out and gave you your vaccines and you were right there with me. And she was a total champ. And then we went to the room and we relaxed, and then we had some visitors, and I was just sitting there like this all day. Like, "What?! How did this happen? There's a baby with me." So, so happy.
Lisa (00:52:25): So then do you want to share at all about initial breastfeeding and going home?
Nicole (00:52:28): Sure. Yes. So breastfeeding during that first hour that we had, she latched right away, which was great. That got me feeling good about things. And then from there it was a little bit tricky. We had a little bit of a learning curve. Like I think most mommies probably do.
Lisa (00:52:52): You might be running out of time.
Nicole (00:52:54): Yes. You want to stay with daddy for a minute, and I'll finish up our story? So breastfeeding for us in the very beginning was tricky. I'm sure a lot of moms, you know, have ups and downs with that, too, which I kind of learned after the fact. I feel like I did so much education around it. I took actually a few breastfeeding classes beforehand because I really wanted to, again, over-prepare myself, and they're really helpful. Education is great, but you are learning with your baby, too. That's something I learned and that I really tell a lot of my friends and students now is that—to be really patient with yourself. For me, I needed to just, again, pump the brakes, take deep breaths and constantly remind myself that we're both learning. She's learning how to eat, I'm learning how to feed her.
Nicole (00:53:47): And it was very painful in the beginning of just, like, you know, your nipples are getting used to that friction and are sore. And I'd say the first week was really, really hard at home. Like, once we got home, too. And I would do a lot of that, like, positive self-talk to keep myself calm. But my husband was also really, really helpful, and I think he took a lot from—what we loved about your course, actually, your online course, is that you had the specific videos in the lessons that were for the partner. It would be, like, the topic and then the topic for the partner. And those things really helped him because he recalled a lot of that in the moment, and he just did a lot of encouraging, of "It's okay, this is really hard. I wish I could, I wish I could do this. Like, I wish, I wish I could breastfeed!" He would make me laugh and try to bring some comic relief to it, too. But having his support was really helpful because then I didn't feel like I was alone in it, that I had him—even if I got really upset about it, he could take the baby and give me a minute to compose myself and try again. And then I saw a lactation consultant on day—I would say she was about five days old. It was really nice, because there's a pediatrician in Astoria, a pediatric office, Astoria Pediatrics—I'll give them a shout-out because they're amazing and they have a nurse practitioner on their staff who is a lactation consultant. So our first visit at the practice, at the office was, like, Frankie's first checkup, like, her checkup, her newborn checkup plus the visit with the NP. She just did it all at once, and then she did the lactation consultant session with me and Frankie, and then we did our week follow-up with her, too, so she could see how things were going, checked her weight and that was so helpful.
Lisa (00:55:46): Thank you so much for sharing that, because I know that Astoria Pediatrics is one of the neighborhood favorites, but I did not know that they have a lactation consultant there. That is fantastic, because you're going so frequently with your baby to the pediatrician. Why not, like, address both things? Because pediatricians don't usually have breastfeeding expertise. That's just not part of what they learn in medical school.
Nicole (00:56:09): Right.
Lisa (00:56:09): That's wonderful to know. Thank you.
Nicole (00:56:11): That was really helpful and I've, you know, been hearing a lot of stories from other friends who are new moms as well and who also had struggles in the beginning with feeding if they—many of them wanted to breastfeed. And it seems like their experiences with the pediatrician, often—for almost all of them they had to at some point either use formula for a day or two while they were waiting for their milk to come in or, like, there was a lot of different things, like, that where in my mind I'm like—I know that's fine, and that's helping them get through this and you got to feed the baby when the baby's hungry, I totally am with that. But to have the lactation consultant be a part of that visit with the baby was so different because in her eyes she was, like, "Look, I can help. I'll help you figure this out. Like, let's give this another day or two. Let's keep watching her weight. Come back in a week and we'll see how it's going." And she was so, like, confident and calm about it, helped me relax. She's, like, "You're doing exactly what you should be doing." And that also made me feel really good about it. So to have that in the same moment versus having to go to a lactation consultant outside of that definitely made it easier. But my recommendation to moms who want to breastfeed is to have maybe a few names of lactation consultants before labor and birth, because in those moments you can't—the exhaustion, the lack of, like, brain power at that point—you are not in a space to be looking people up and asking for recommendations. That's very hard. So to have that ready beforehand is important.
Lisa (00:57:52): Absolutely. And I think since you guys took my online course I have added a couple of bullet points to partner tips for supporting the breastfeeding relationship, and one of the ones is: do the legwork for her, make the calls to find a lactation consultant to come help, because it is too much. It does feel like, "I can't do this right now." And to have those names beforehand is also really important, so thanks for sharing.
Nicole (00:58:17): Yeah. Yeah, so that was—really, once we got beyond the first couple of weeks, it got a lot better. Frankie's latch was a little off, so it was just working on getting her better latched as best as I could. And she's, she is not—in Italian—I have an Italian background, we call, like, a big eater, a gavone. Frankie is not a gavone. Like, she's a good eater, but if she's distracted, she kind of forgets even that she's hungry. So I think that was a part of it, too, of just learning her and learning how to help that process along. And now, even once we hit about—once she turned five months, it's probably a few weeks ago, her newest thing now is being very distracted. Which, again, it's, like, now she realized she likes, you know, Daddy's voice, or, you know, someone walks in the room and starts talking, she wants to know what's going on. That's, like, a new little thing that we're working through. Now when we're feeding, it has to be quiet and dim. No stimulation at all for her to focus and eat.
Lisa (00:59:26): Or else they're, like, yanking your boob all over the place looking all over. I remember that.
Nicole (00:59:32): Yeah, it's not a nice dismount. Watch mommy, please. So yeah, that was—it's been a journey and I think it's a different journey for everyone. And I try so hard to encourage my friends to really take the pressure off themselves. It's, like, you know, for a lot of moms it's important to them to breastfeed. And I think there's also sometimes this added pressure of: this is the best thing to do for your baby, and so at all costs you have to do it. But it's not, and it's the best for that moment in time—if that's what's best for you and your baby, and however you need to get that baby fed is how you get that baby fed. And try to take the pressure off yourself, because if you do work at it and really stay diligent around, you know, taking care of yourself and your breasts and having the support of a consultant or your partner, you can get there. But it's okay if you take a different path, is what I'm trying to say.
Lisa (01:00:33): Yes. Because something that a lot of people don't realize until they're in it or on the other side of it is that there can be real serious mental health consequences when we're putting too much pressure on ourselves or when we're deeply struggling with this whole feeding thing and, like, the pressure and the guilt and all of that. And our mental health is so important in this journey, you know? So yes, I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing that.
Nicole (01:01:02): Yeah.
Lisa (01:01:06): Well. Is there anything else before we wrap things up? Anything that you haven't gotten to share that you'd like to share or any insights for expectant parents who might be listening?
Nicole (01:01:17): Yeah. The other thing I would add, something else that I did, I'm thinking back now, with the prenatal yoga—a lot of my students were actually first time yoga goers. A lot of people who don't, they're like, "I'm not into yoga. I don't really like that." And that's fine. You know, it's not for everybody, but there are so many different styles of yoga that if you become pregnant and you're interested in using prenatal yoga to help you through your pregnancy, I highly recommend trying it. Even if you feel like yoga is not for me because it's very different from any other style of yoga. It's very slow in most cases. There's definitely ways to build muscle or keep muscle tone, too, in your arms and your legs and your body that you need, that you need for birth that are really helpful for after birth, too, to be holding and taking care of a baby.
Nicole (01:02:14): And it's really, like, my motto in teaching yoga is, like, "You do whatever you want." Like, whatever feels good. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. If you want to lay down and take a nap during prenatal yoga, you can, there is no judgment. There is, it's really just, like, a free space to have that hour for yourself a week, and get quiet with yourself and feel grounded on a mat. I just, I can't recommend it enough to just try it even if you think you're not a Yogi. And then the other thing also, sometimes it's hard to find prenatal yoga. So finding online videos, YouTube is a great place, a great thing to use.
Nicole (01:02:57): And also spinningbabies is one of my favorite resources for so many different topics. I went to that website a lot whenever I had a question about something. They have this great, like, listserv that you can join that goes by week with you through your pregnancy. And that I found to be really, really helpful. And they also have a video that you can purchase, like, a module online that's prenatal yoga, and it has, like, a stretching component to it. And I used that for myself almost every day, as often as I could do it for the, especially in the last trimester, that was huge. The class that they offer is very inexpensive, too. I think it's under $20, and then you have it and you can watch it as many times as you want. And I really, really enjoyed that a lot. They even give you, like, tips on sleeping positions for when you're in a more advanced stage of pregnancy. That was really helpful. And the stretching, I really, liked the stretch one, because if you don't like yoga you can still get on the floor and stretch and that's so helpful. I can tell you, I think that made a huge difference in how I felt in my pregnancy towards the end. Big smile! And also for pushing for birth. That was big.
Lisa (01:04:15): Nice. Great. Thank you so much. This has been wonderful to get to chat and hear all of these wonderful details. And for you to share your expertise on aromatherapy and prenatal yoga. I love it. Thank you. Thank you.
Nicole (01:04:29): Yes, you're welcome. Thank you for having me.
Lisa (01:04:33): Absolutely. My pleasure. I hope to see you in the neighborhood soon. All right, well, have a great day and thanks again.
Nicole (01:04:39): You too. Bye Lisa.
Lisa (01:04:41): Bye Nicole.
Lisa (01:04:42): That’s it for today's story. I hope you enjoyed Nicole’s soulful details of her metamorphosis into motherhood as much as I did. We go through all the newborn protocols in birth class, but I’ll just say a couple of quick things on this today. There are 3 newborn procedures that, in New York, are state-mandated and are the only 3 things that I don’t recommend anyone try to opt out of, because hospital staff threaten to call child protective services whenever anyone does. These 3 procedures are the Vitamin K shot, eye ointment (or erythromycin), and the PKU heel stick test. 2 of the 3 are done right after birth, and the PKU test is usually done soon before the family is sent home in an uncomplicated scenario, or sometime in between 48 hours and 1 week after birth, whatever the birth setting, and the PKU/heel stick is testing for a whole bunch of hematological illnesses.
Lisa (01:07:21): The vitamin K shot is a shot that's given in a baby’s thigh shortly after birth. Newborns are born with a low-ish amount of vitamin K and have a surge of it around day 7. While all newborns don't need the supplement of vitamin K, there's a rare baby who might have a condition similar to hemophilia and has an inability for their blood to clot. Because there's no way to know in advance which baby has this very serious condition, it’s standard protocol to give all babies this supplement to protect that unknown, rare baby.
Lisa (01:07:56): The eye ointment, or erythromycin, is a low-dose antibiotic gel that's put all over newborns’ eyes. This is primarily to prevent a baby from potentially going blind as they come through vagina if a mother has chlamydia or gonorrhea. Surprisingly, even when babies are born surgically, in a C-section, they still get the eye ointment. One thing I encourage expectant parents to consider is to make a special request to delay as many of the newborn protocols as possible for at least an hour or two after birth. This is to protect what we call the “Golden Hour”, which is the first 1 to 2 hours after baby’s birth when baby’s in what we call the “quiet alert state” thanks to the surge of adrenaline you and your baby got in the pushing stage. This quiet alert state is the most ideal time for lots of skin-to-skin cuddling and for initiating breastfeeding, so it’s biologically best to minimize disruptions as much as possible. They can usually delay the eye ointment and vitamin K shot, as well as weighing and measuring the baby, for at least an hour upon request. This is something you could ask your care provider to put in your chart in advance, but you may need to remember to verbally remind the nurses in real time, as many of them are used to doing them right away in a hospital setting. There’s often a LOT more flexibility in birthing centers and home births on these protocols. I recommend, whenever you think you’re making a special request in any birth setting, to ask what the norm is before making the request. Perhaps you’ll just happen to giving birth somewhere that knows protecting the golden hour is best for the mother-baby dyad!
Lisa (01:08:14): I’ll link to information on the PKU test in this episode’s show notes over at birthmattersshow.com -- you’ll see I’ve also linked there to the many resources that were mentioned -- Nicole’s website, recommended books, a Spinning Babies yoga video, information on the concept of the Birth Pause, Nicole’s recommended pediatrician, the doula trainer who was mentioned, Debra Pascali Bonaro, and more. Also remember you can always find lots of photos of the families who share as well as episode transcripts over at birthmattersshow.com. Okay, here’s a sneak peek of what’s up next week!
Lisa (01:08:16): I really wanted to go do a tour of the hospital because I like to visualize, like, the scene ahead of time. But the nurse navigator said that if you wanted to see a room you could call her or text her and she would let you know when there was one open and you could run up really quick and hope to see. So I got, like, a personal tour to go see one of the rooms. This woman is, like, really great. I ended up, like, hanging out with her after for a little bit. Like, I was, like, in her office and she's just telling me about, I don't know, what you're talking about, birth stuff. And I said that I wanted to try a natural birth and, like, she said, it was basically like Yoda from Star Wars. She was just like, just, "You're going to do it." You know, "There is no try." Like, you're just going to do it." That, like, those words, like, kept in my head. And the other thing she said was never ask for the epidural during a contraction, like, wait until the middle. So, like, you're in your own brain and during labor, like, there was no pain in between the contractions. So I always felt like I could do another one because I had that in my head.
Lisa (01:09:15): Until next time, your thought for this week is to remember to slow down and reflect during this transformative time in your life. Thanks for listening to the Birth Matters Podcast and be well.—-END—-
