Birth Matters Podcast, Ep 100 - When Baby Prefers Car Over Waterbirth

New mother, holding and breastfeeding her newborn son in a hospital bed.

Sierra envisioned a waterbirth for her baby, but was disheartened to find it’s hard to find a birthing location where that’s possible and also hard to find birthing center options in NYC. With the help of her doula, she finds the one birthing center in all of NYC and switches her care. Working with midwives, Sierra immediately feels much more cared about, seen and heard than she ever did with her hospital OB. Listen to hear this exciting story of how Sierra’s son had very different plans for where he wanted to be born at 39 weeks!

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Episode Topics:

  • First pregnancy, fascinated with waterbirth

  • Found doula Simone through Black Doulas, perfect fit

  • Her fiance wasn’t there for the initial consult, so she scheduled an extra consult

  • Hired Simone before finding/choosing birthing center

  • Doing childbirth ed with Simone

  • Went to 39-week appointment with midwives

  • Contrasting OB care to midwifery care, feeling so much cared about and unrushed with the midwives

  • Prenatals all in-person

  • 39-week appointment on a Saturday; had uncomfortable cervical exam

  • Feeling tired but pretty active

  • That night goes to bathroom and something feels different

  • 4:30am having regular pressure sensations

  • She wakes partner, asks him to call Simone

  • He texts her at 6:50am

  • Simone gives some tips/reminders to her partner

  • Sierra doesn’t want her partner to talk to her, irritated by his advice to take a walk out in the winter January weather

  • Feeling really hot

  • Took a shower but during contractions she was concerned she’d slip

  • Wasn’t sure she should sit in a tub because maybe she’d miss her water rupturing

  • Rocking lots to cope

  • Feeling an electrical sensation throughout her entire body during contractions

  • Starts vomiting, partner concerned, Sierra not concerned

  • Peppermint oil wasn’t helpful for her at preventing vomiting, didn’t even want a mint candy in her mouth

  • Simone asks to see contraction timing to gauge if she’s in transition but her contractions are really spaced out so it doesn’t seem to be that

  • Stops talking, nonverbal cues to partner for timing

  • Eventually she asks partner to text Simone

  • He does, but he says he thinks it’s too early for her to come, says take your time

  • Simone arrives (around 9:50am) and attempts hands-on comfort measures but Sierra doesn’t want it

  • She later asks for her to try again

  • Contraction frequency is now 4 min and Simone questions her partner, her partner says he’s been diligent in doing his job

  • Simone says if this frequency continues for much longer they need to leave for the birthing center

  • Going down the steps she’s feeling urge to push/needing to go to bathroom, doesn’t want to go anywhere, goes face down on steps and Simone pulls her up

  • Water breaks on stairs at 10:24am, Simone trying to get them in the car as quickly as possible

  • She goes down the stairs backwards with support

  • Simone makes an exception and goes in the car with them

  • Turns around backwards facing but then a turn thrusts her on all fours over the car seat base with head leaning on door and she stays there with Simone next to her

  • Feels something at vaginal opening, reaches down to feel what it is before verbalizing anything

  • She tells Simone she thinks it’s the head

  • Simone shimmies Sierra’s pants down and sees the head

  • Simone tells her she has 2 options either hospital or birthing center but the baby was going to be born in the car

  • They call the birthing center as soon as the head was out (they had previously called to let them know they were on the way)

  • Gave birth while driving next to JFK airport

  • Didn’t know sex of baby; Sierra thought they had a girl based on hearing Simone saying “She” but Simone was referring to Sierra, not baby and they actually had a boy

  • Can’t bring baby all the way up to her chest as cord’s too short

  • They arrive at birthing center

  • Birth certificate has “born in car at Exit 19” on it

  • Educated yourself and hire a doula/have support

  • Simone recommended dates to help ripen the cervix

  • Evening Primrose oil, dancing, hydration, sex were other things Sierra did and Simone recommended; Simone thinks the deep squats done while dancing all really helped

  • Put dates into a smoothie

Interview Transcript

Lisa: Today I have with me special guest Sierra and we also have one of our East River Doula Collective members. Wonderful doula, Simone Junious.

Hello to both of you. So glad you're here today.

Sierra: Hi,

Simone (6m 18s): Happy Friday.

Lisa (6m 20s): So Sierra is not one of my students, but she is our doula Simone's client and she's here to share a very exciting birth story. But before we get into all of that, Sierra, would you please just introduce yourself for a moment?

Sierra (6m 33s): Hi, I'm Sierra. I am a native of the Bronx but I currently reside in Queens and I am so excited to tell my birth story. I'm sure you'll be interested too.

Lisa (6m 45s): Absolutely. And Simone, would you like to introduce yourself a little more than I did?

Simone (6m 49s): Sure, my name's Simone Junious. I am located in Queens, New York. I've been a doula for almost five years now and a part of the East River Doula Collective. This is an exciting birth story for sure.

Lisa (7m 3s): Thanks Simone. Alright Sierra. So let's jump in if you're ready. Can you just please start by telling us anything you'd like to share about your conception journey and or pregnancy journey and the different ways that you prepared for this journey into parenthood and for birth?

Conception Journey and Finding a Doula

Sierra (7m 19s): Okay, sure. So to start off, this is my first pregnancy, my fiance and I. Both of this is our first time experience. We've had a wonderful experience. We are definitely blessed with our journey via pregnancy and throughout delivery and even now being first time parents now for about a month. I've always been fascinated with water births or from being like a teenager watching the show TLC, like 30 minute births. And I always thought that I was cool. So that was something that I was interested in trying to put into my birth plan.

But I definitely hit a lot of roadblocks in a sense. As far as living in New York state, there are not many options to have that type of birth experience. Throughout my research, I couldn't believe that there's only one birthing center in the entire New York state. Not just New York City, but New York state in its entirety. I thought that I was doing something wrong. Maybe I was typing something into Google that wasn't really, wasn't catching what I was trying to get. But no, there's actually only one you have the option of having a home birth. That was too far for me as far as for my first experience.

I said, oh my god, what am I gonna do? So we were able to find a birthing center and I went through my pregnancy with getting care throughout the birthing center and then the plan was to deliver at the birthing center, have a Waterbirth if that's what the baby decided to do. But he, my son, he definitely had a different plan, but we'll get to that later on.

Lisa (8m 40s): Spoiler alert,

Sierra (8m 42s): He definitely had a different plan. So the first thing that I kind of did was I knew that I wanted a doula in my opinion, not just with the definition, but for me a doula was more so like a birth professional. We all have family members or even if this is not your first pregnancy, we all have people who can tell us their birth story. But I feel like it's only the minority, like one or two, maybe sometimes people have more than two kids, but in my life, for the most part, people have about two children so they can tell me their experiences. But I felt like a birth with the doula would have her own birth story as well as the birth stories of other clients that they had.

So that's why I consider it like a birth professional.

Lisa (9m 24s): Do you remember how you heard about a doula like that? The role of

Sierra (9m 27s): A doula? I believe it was from the show on TLC, like the 30 minute births, I believe that was my first with it as far as I probably did not know the term doula, I just knew that they had someone there with them. And then throughout my research, I'm not sure exactly how I even knew the word doula, but of course throughout my research of having like a birth companion, I might have even put that in like a birth companion or like a support person. And then the definition came out. I said, yeah, that's what I want. you know, in the beginning I didn't really know much of the difference between a doula and let's say a midwife.

Sure. So throughout my research early on is when I said, oh this is the difference. The way that I would kind of compare is like a doula for me would be like a nurse because like nurses for the most part If you have a hospital experience. From what I've read or from what I've heard from other people's experiences is that the nurses are the ones who are there constantly. Like you know, they check up on you more consistently than a doctor. Sure. A doctor kind of comes in when you're ready to push or if things unfortunately are going wrong or whatever have you, the doctor kind of like peeps in and leaves. And that's the way that I differentiate all of the roles.

Finding Simone

So I found Simone via black doulas.org but that was something, one of the websites that I had looked at for doulas in my area, Simone was actually the first doula that I interviewed and I felt a little bad because my fiance, he was not a part of the interview, he was working, I was home, I had already started maternity leave and I just said, oh, I'll give him the process of elimination as far as once I like some people, then we'll discuss it and then we'll go from there. And me not knowing anyone who has ever had this experience of having a doula and going through the interview process, I really didn't have a point of reference.

So I kind of just was doing it on my own. Soon as I had the interview I realized that I had made not a bad decision but I wanted to include my fiance in the interview process. I just felt that it was important to me and important to both of us to have someone that we both were comfortable with. Absolutely. And just someone to compare. Like I know that I can have my opinion, but then of course if he was a part of the interview as well, we would be able to compare and contrast and then of course make our determination of who we felt would be the best fit for us. So Simone and I, we hit it off like I felt like we had known each other.

That was like my long lost cousin. And then I was like, oh no, like how am I gonna fix this? Like how can I get him? I wish that I could have paused the moment and just been like, come from work, hurry up quick, we gotta come So that he could have the experience as well. But like I said, he wasn't a part of the first interview, we had interviewed some other doulas and then I had text Simone. I'm like, you know what, hey, I'm sorry but I need a favor. I would like to have a second part of the interview. I don't have anything else for you, but I wanna give him the opportunity to have met you and you guys have a conversation.

And she was definitely willing. I just didn't feel like I didn't wanna be a bother, we had already had the consultation and I'm like, but please. So she was more than happy to have the second interview. And my fiance, he just was like, I already know who you want, so what are we even doing this for? And I'm like, how did you know? I'm trying to act as if I didn't know exactly who It was, like trying not to be biased And, he was like, what? What are we doing here? But he agreed with someone experience and just how we just had a vibe and just the energy, you just felt it and it was very authentic and I just felt very comfortable with her from the first time that we had an encounter.

So that was also important to me with picking a doula is someone who had experience also who is a lactation specialist. That was important to me as well. And then just again, somebody that I felt a genuine connection with. So those were kind of like my criteria for deciding who I was gonna pick. And I am so happy that we did decide to continue with Simone. She stuck with me. Simone is stuck with me. I don't know if she knows that, but yeah, she stuck with me. This is a lifelong relationship now.

Lisa (13m 13s): And so just to clarify a couple things. So are you saying your fiance did indeed get to meet with Simone or said I don't even need to I trust you. yes. You

Sierra (13m 21s): Did meet. No, yes he did. He did meet. It was like a brief interview. I kinda played the background cause again I had already had the interview with her. She pretty much gave him a breakdown of herself and her experience. And at the end of that is when he and I had the conversation, I'm like, you know, what do you think about her? I tried to seem unbiased, but he was like, you know what? What do we do Sierra? I already know who you want. And I'm like, how did you know? But yes, I definitely had already made my decision. I just wanted to include him.

Lisa (13m 50s): Yeah. And we, doulas also like to meet partners too, to be sure it's a good fit from our perspective as well. So I think that was a good call. And the other question I just wanted to clarify, did I hear correctly that you found the birthing center and secured that as your birthplace and your care provider before you hired a doula? Or was it the other way around?

Sierra (14m 8s): No, so Simone actually helped me in the knowledge process cause I said I can't believe I've been trying to find it, maybe I'm doing something wrong. And she was like, no you're not. And I just said, huh, no, no way. Like it cannot only be one place. And she was like, yeah. And I was like, no, maybe, maybe you don't understand what I'm asking for.

Lisa (14m 28s): No, we do

Sierra (14m 30s): In the entire, like not New York, like maybe a smaller city or a smaller state. Not the New York City only had one place. I just could not believe that. So yes, I found Simone first because I knew at that point I wasn't sure how to navigate the birthing center. I was doing research again and I just was coming up to Roblox, but I knew that I wanted a doula. So in my mind I was gonna have a birth in the hospital, but I wanted a doula there with me. And then she also, she was able to help me navigate, yeah, that there is only one birthing center.

And then I was able to get connected with the Brooklyn Birthing Center, that's the name of it. And I had my prenatal care there. And then like again, we were supposed to have a plan, a birthing there, we had it all set up. We had the tour, the rooms and we were just all set and ready to go.

Lisa (15m 18s): Do you remember how many weeks or which trimester you were in when you hired Simone?

Sierra (15m 22s): It was, it was in my first trimester. I had started early. That's so smart. I, you know, I found her early on in my first trimester and then I was able to just continue throughout my whole entire pregnancy with her.

Lisa (15m 33s): And one of the brilliant aspects of hiring a doula that early is just what you were just sharing is having someone to help guide you in your choice of care provider and birth setting. So I really love that. Even If you didn't necessarily give birth there hopefully would've been had you made it there, hopefully it would've been a good place to convert.

Sierra (15m 53s): Yeah. Also the reason why I started early was cause we were both first-time parents, I wanted to do classes. So that was another reason why I also selected Simone is because just me, I feel like once I'm comfortable with someone, I would like to maintain that relationship. Not to have to be referred to someone else. I don't mind meeting new people but with something so special, your birth story is a very intimate setting and you wanna be with someone that you feel comfortable with and like even who you can trust. So that was also important to me. So we were able to do classes with Simone as well, which helped tremendously.

Just having the knowledge, like I feel that my fiance and I both can agree on just feeling comfortable in the time because you felt empowered because you had the knowledge. And it's not about having the experience cuz like I said, neither one of us had had the experience in the past. But just having the knowledge and going through certain things and then not being the first time of you hearing it or seeing it makes you feel comfortable to where you're not nervous and you're not panicking because you feel prepared.

Lisa (16m 51s): Yeah. Yeah. That's great. And I think it really is an ideal thing for many people to have a doula who can teach them classes because you're getting that much more time together to get to know each other that much better because If, you're just hiring someone for doula support exclusively and nothing else. You're just getting a pretty limited time with them and your prenatal visits before the big day. And so I love that you highlighted that aspect of what Simone can offer and the benefit of that. Yeah. Thanks.

Sierra (17m 21s): Yeah. So time for the birth story.

Lisa (17m 24s): Yeah.

BIRTH CLASS

Simone (17m 24s): I, can I interject one other thing with our fiance that as she was talking about the classes, it was really funny as you segue into the birth story, he said multiple times like he had his job and he's like, yeah because I paid attention in class because I paid attention in class. He said that at least three times that I can think of off the top of my head. Which was, it's funny in hindsight, but it is reassuring that

Sierra (17m 49s): It

Simone (17m 49s): Was very stoic. But he's, I paid attention in class.

Lisa (17m 53s): I always love hearing when partners say that. They're like, Hey they're being a good student. They were really listening. Yay

Sierra (17m 59s): I hired. But he said, but I remember hearing that in class and you know what, I just wanna add something else too. Him and I both, this is our first experience, but this is also the first experience in our network of family and friends. So that was also something that was major. So as we're talking about it, they're like, oh, like what do you need that for? Why are you doing that? And I'm like, because I was like, I've spent money on less. And that's like my motto as far as we all as humans, we prioritize what we feel is a priority and if I can go to dinner or if I can go shopping in a mall or if I can invest in any type of way, why wouldn't I wanna invest in myself in my birth story?

Like we, we hear of bad stories and we hear good stories as well. But for me I wanted to try to have the best experience to be as knowledgeable as possible as I could. I took it as a job for myself as far as trying to learn as much, yes I tried to be a sponge in receiving all of the information. But again, you never know what your story is gonna be or what your situation or what's going to arise at the time. So I wanted to be as prepared. But definitely our friend and our family is like, what do you mean? What's that?

So I took that as a time for not only for us to learn, but now everyone in our circle is more intrigued now to know that we did it, it was possible. And now that there are also other options, I feel that knowledge is key. And a lot of people, no matter your ethnicity or no matter your income, all of those things don't matter when it comes to the knowledge and the experience and just knowing that there are other ways.

Lisa (19m 33s): Sierra, you're speaking my love language. You're bringing me so much joy today. I love that you are spreading the word about educating yourself and building in support. And what is a doula that is beautiful.

Sierra (19m 48s): I'm trying part, the doula world is not for me. I can't do the blood and the fluid. That's not for me. But this part I can help you out on this one. I can always set a referral. Yeah, I think that's my job. But as far as like doing it actually I, there's a place in heaven for all of you.

Finding the Right Provider with Midwives

Lisa (20m 6s): I love it. So you were about to jump into your birth story. Do you wanna lay the land a little bit? The groundwork in terms of what was the end of your pregnancy like what were the days or the weeks leading up to going into labor since I think your birth story's pretty short.

Sierra (20m 18s): Yeah, so I went to my, I think that was my 39th week appointment. So pretty much once you hit 36 weeks, you're going to your health provider every week. So it's a Brooklyn birthing center. As far as from me, traveling is about a 40 minute drive on average without traffic. And your appointments now at this point are pretty routine. I will say working with or having a midwife as your healthcare provider is a very different experience than going to a doctor's office. And I've personally had both.

In the beginning for most of my first trimester I was going to a doctor's office. In my opinion, it's just very impersonal. It's like you go through the motions, your height, your weight, you know anything bothering you. Most of these questions are either with the nurse or the medical assistant. The doctor comes, it's like, Hey you the same questions over again. Like bam, bam. Thank you ma'am. See you later. That's my, that was my experience. And nothing bad. It was nothing wrong with my experience, but just for me and my experience with the healthcare, just working with doctors, it's, it's a fast pace now.

When I switched to going to the birthing center, it was a very different experience. it was almost weird in a sense. I was like, didn't even know how to receive it at first to be honest. Because It was like, how are you? you know? Anything new that you wanna talk about. I was like, you my counselor. It was very different than going to the doctor. Like whether you're going to an OBGYN, whether it's your primary care physician, to me and my experiences, it's all the same. It's like anything wrong, what's going on here? We're gonna send you a prescription to whatever you wanted and see you soon. They actually turned around and It was like, oh how are you?

They spoke with my fiance and It was like, oh how are you taking things? And I was like, what is happening here? So first I didn’t say much, I just took it all in. It was like, then when I went and the same thing happened and I had with a different midwife, this what they all do, I said, what?

Lisa (22m 9s): See me as a whole person?

Sierra (22m 10s): Whole person, I just couldn't, I have never had the experience before of feeling so personal. And it seemed like they were so intrigued, like genuinely like how are you doing? Like we'll get to the medical stuff in a second, but like how are you handling things? And I was like, this is cool. I like this. I can get used

Lisa (22m 28s): To this. You deserve that, right? I just wanna chime in and just say you deserve that. And so many people don't know what they're missing out on in our OB model of care that it does tend to be so rushed and just like feels like a factory. It feels like you're a number. I hear that all the time from my clients. It's like, why do I feel like a number? I would like to be treated like a human please. So I'm so thankful that you felt that nurturing care that you deserve.

Sierra (22m 50s): I go there forever, can this be my primary care? This is how I think that the experience should always be. you know? So I'm definitely grateful that I've had that experience. But now at week 36, so I think I believe at week 32 or either 28 or 32, you start going every two weeks. And then after 36 weeks is when you start going weekly. So at this point I just saw you, nothing's new, Hey I'm just here. It's taking me longer to get here than it's actually me being here with all the talking in the world, it was just like nothing's, nothing's up.

And that could also be for my experience because I didn't have any changes, everything was going well. But

Lisa (23m 28s): Ask a quick question on that. Since the pandemic hit a lot of providers, or even now some of them are still doing at least some of the prenatal virtually, but others have gone back to completely in-person. Did you have any option for that or was it just No, we prefer in-person.

Sierra (23m 41s): Every visit that I had was in-person. What we did have virtual was the tour of the actual birthing center that was virtual. And they also had classes like how do you prep? Like what should you bring? And those types of things, it overlaps what I had went through with Simone. But the things like what should you pack in your bag and those type of things, that was also a virtual aspect. But it was a group setting. But anything pertaining to me and my care was definitely always in person.

Lisa (24m 8s): Okay. Yeah. And I mean one of the things that they wanna be sure they're monitoring in most cases is monitoring blood pressure. Being sure there's no issues with hypertension or anything. And that is important so that if somebody were to be receiving virtual care, they would probably need to be monitoring their blood pressure at home. Yeah. Just to be sure. That's all good to go. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. Go ahead.

39 Week Appointment

Sierra (24m 28s): So 39 weeks. I have an appointment on a Saturday. Usually we go during the week. But my fiance, he had one outta town so we had made the appointment on Saturday, early morning. I think my appointment's for 9:00 AM we go to the appointment is routine, how you feeling, anything new. And for me there wasn't anything new besides just pressure. Like I was at this point, I didn't have a real big wobble, but I definitely had a lot of pressure where I felt like baby was down. But other than that, everything was fine. I wasn't having any complications.

I wasn't even uncomfortable at this point. I still was very just, oh okay, we're here, we're doing this. We got time. We had the appointment, she did do a vaginal check. This was the first time that I had received a vaginal check. And the midwives, this was actually my first time meeting her and she was like, oh, your cervix is very soft and your one centimeter dilated. So in my mind, one centimeter was equivalent to zero, but it was later that I found out was talking with Simone that no one and zero are different. I thought, you know, the way that we count, we don't count zero.

And then one is always one first. But in the dilation world, zero first ladies and gentlemen, just fyi learned from not knowing what I knew at the time, but ooh, I didn't like that check. I didn't like it. It was pressure. Cause I was feeling the pressure of baby coming down and when she checked she's coming in. So I told someone, I said, we're not doing that again. I said, will not recommend. I don't like that. I don't like that. Saturday I went to the movies, I went out to eat with my family. It was a normal day.

Lisa (25m 57s): Did you say this is your 39 week?

Sierra (25m 59s): Yes, 39 week normal day. I'm not feeling any contractions. I'm not uncomfortable. Regular day I was tired. Now looking back at hindsight, I was more tired that day than I had been in my third trimester. But again, I'm thinking it's because I'm moving around. I had the doctor's appointment, I had woke up early, went to the movies, went out to eat. So I was pretty active that day as well. But I was abnormally tired. Like again looking at it in hindsight, but at the time I'm gonna go to bed, went to bed probably about 11:00 PM 10, 11 o'clock.

First Contractions

And like always I have to go to the bathroom every couple of hours. you know I'm waking up but this time it feels a little different. I said, Ooh, what's that? So I had experienced Braxton Hicks, so I knew that I was very uncomfortable. Again. Now laying down is when I was like, would feel it a little bit more as my body is relaxed. Ooh, I feel the pressure, but I go to the bathroom. I thought that was it. And then I'm like trying to go back to sleep and then I feel it again. I said, oh no, no, no dreaming or is this what's happening here?

My fiance, he's oblivious, he's snoring, he don't have a care in the world, right? But it seems like it's taken me a little while. I'm trying to monitor it, but again, I'm tired. So maybe about like 15 minutes I'm like, you dozing off to sleep and then I feel it again and I said, oh no Sierra, you gotta get up cause are you dreaming or is this real? Are you uncomfortable? We have to figure out what is happening. So now I look at the clock and it's 4:30 AM and I said, okay, I gotta figure out what this is. So I'm gonna stay up until at least five o'clock to see what's happening.

It probably was about 4:44 I think, or 4:45. And I felt it again. So I Sir, sir, I said it's so, he's like, what's happening? I said, oh I'm in pain. So he said contractions, I said, so he was like, all right, so now he's getting up. So just a sidebar, Simone, we had classes again with Simone. She had suggested that we download an app, the contraction timer. He knew that this was his job. He was supposed to download the app, I'll say at least two months prior.

Lisa (28m 2s): Now can I ask Simone, is the one you recommended, is it full term or is it a different one? Yes, full term. She's nodding her head. Okay, thanks. I'll include that in the show notes.

Sierra (28m 11s): Okay, so now he's fidgeting on his phone. I'm thinking that he's trying to get up And. he goes, what's the name of the app again? I said, not the app that you was supposed to download two months ago, it can't be, you gotta be talking about a different one. So he's like, I think I downloaded the wrong one. So at this point you figure my contractions are about every half an hour or so. So I'm, I'm still jittery, I'm fine. I'm just like my partner, great, like you're the best. So he downloads the app, we hanging out. So then I have another one. So now he's like, all right, now he's gonna start timing it.

Texting Simone

He knows his job. So I also told him, I said Text Simone. I said it was really early but just let her know that I'm starting labor has officially started. So again, it's about, I think maybe Simone, do you remember what time he texted you? Maybe around five something. I

Simone (28m 57s): Don't think I'll ever forget it. He texted me at 6:50.

Sierra (28m 60s): Oh it was that, yeah, I was trying to hold out, I was hold out

Simone (29m 4s): Text at six 50 to let me know that you had started contractions about four 30. But he didn't, he wanted to make sure that it was real. He, he, he knew his job. He wanted to make sure that it was real before he let me know.

Sierra (29m 15s): Okay, so, so now I'm going through the contractions. I'm just rocking. I'm just like, hey this is happening. Holy moly is happening. Ask

Lisa (29m 21s): One question. Sure. I was just curious when this initial contact with Simone happened, if either of you remembers, like was there any advice like hydrate or like what kind of advice?

Simone (29m 34s): Yeah, I told Aneudy. He sent me a screenshot of the contractions of what he had noticed. So I asked how was Sierra doing? And he let me know she's, she's dying but she's fine. And that was literally, that was exactly what he said. So I reminded them of some of the early labor comfort measures that we had gone through as it progressed. Remind her to take a shower, she can soak in a bath that you guys can go for a walk, counter pressure, all of those things depending on what she was feeling and where she was feeling it.

And we were having the conversation And he mentioned to her and she I think said at that time she thinks she was about to go take a shower.

Coping with Contractions and Active Labor

Sierra (30m 14s): So I'll be honest, he did not discuss those things with me. I think we had a very clear understanding like don't talk to me and I'm just here, I'm in my zone. What he did mention a few times, what I can remember is walking and I, in my head I'm like if this guy tells me to go outside one more time, I'm gonna fight him again. Let's just paint the picture. It is in the middle of the night in January and it is freezing outside And. he asking me to walk when I could barely think about breathing at this point.

Like guy If, you don't get outta here. So for me that just didn't, I didn't wanna hear it was just going through it. But that pain is just, it's indescribable. I just wanted some relief and for me at that time I was going through hot flashes. So just the thought of going out in the cold was just something that I was not even entertaining because during my contraction I was very hot. Like I didn't have any, any clothing on. But the second that the contraction was over, I felt freezing.

Like I was shivering, teeth shattering. So I couldn't fathom how could I be having these very temperatures, like drastic temperature changes and then be outside in the cold and then trying to walk. Like I couldn't fathom any of that. But I did take a shower just for my own personal comfort. Again, like that was another reason why I wanted to do the Waterbirth thinking of how when I had like menstrual cramps and like just the water for me is soothing. So I did get into the shower but then once I had a contraction in the shower I said, oh no, it's either I'm gonna be comforted by the water or I'm gonna have a busted head cause I'm gonna fall down in this place.

Because when the contractions came they just came so strong and I just was like, oh my goodness what? I just remember like feeling like somebody like electrocuted me. It was like outta nowhere and your body automatically at least for me just tensed up. And I had to continue to tell myself like relax, cause If you first in contraction, you're just going to make it harder on yourself. I remember hearing those things but it's uncontrollable like you just automatically 10 up and then I had to tell myself just relax. And then I mean I just was rocking.

I felt like I was on a bus just moving it like I just was going like this either from front to back or side to side. And that kinda gave me some relief. And one thing that I was a little bit concerned about with getting into a bath at this point in my story was my water had not broke. So I was a little bit weary about sitting down in the tub because I wanted to know when my water broke so I would be able to monitor the color of it or the, and those things that we had learned in class. So I was a little bit weary about sitting down in the tub and not being able to know when my water actually broke. In my mind I didn't think that it would be an experience that I would feel if I was inside of the water.

So I didn't, for me, I didn't even consider sitting down in the tub for that reason. So I did shower and I had already washed myself and everything and I just was like leaning on the wall and just letting the water hit me, which felt good. But when that contraction came and my knees buckled, I said Oh no, I gotta get up outta here. But I didn't even notice that my fiance was sitting on the toilet. I was in my own world again, I guess like my shower curtain is dark but didn't expect for him to be there. And, he had never said anything. So I'm just showering doing my thing. And when my knees buckled, that's when he like opened the curtain.

It was like, you alright? You need help. So at first I was a little startled like whatcha you doing here? But I was definitely grateful that he was there. I did not fall or anything but I definitely had bent down on all fours inside of the shower because I was afraid of falling. You feel that you don't have control over your body during the contraction. So again, like partners, I will suggest you follow, follow her even if she tells you to get outta there, just sneak and do it. Be behind the door or something because she may need your help but not even know that she is going to need your help. So I would just say try to be there as much as possible.

Even if he yells at you. I didn't yell at him cause I didn't know that he was there, but I probably would've been like get outta here like I don't need you. And not really knowing that you have him there. It definitely was help. I,

Lisa (34m 17s): Can I ask you one question about when you said something about you felt like you were being electrocuted. Often when people say that it's like in the area of the cervix, this really internal very low sensation, but was it like that or would you describe it differently?

Sierra (34m 29s): It, my entire body, I don't remember just having the pain locally to any area. I just felt like my whole body, just like without any control, it just went like this. And then once it was over, It was like, okay, I can move normally. But at the time I felt like It was like somebody just hit a lock switch and then I was just stuck. And again, once it was over then I was like, woo, that was intense. That's how I can describe it. It's just so intense that your body just, wow. And then even for me, I started to throw up and I think that's when my fiance got a little nervous because that was something I know I, I remember learning, like seeing it on Instagram.

I had seen a photo, I don't remember what page it was. Cause at this point I'm following a lot of different doulas from different places. But there was a picture that I remember seeing where a woman was in labor and she was leaned over and they had a bucket under her and she was throwing up and they had explained in a description how vomiting during labor was normal. So for me when I threw up it wasn't uncommon for me. I remember having like really bad periods to where I would throw up as well. And then now in labor that was also familiar with having seen it before.

So it wasn't like, oh I was going through something that was abnormal. But my fiance, I don't think that he remembered that or like he had that same knowledge for that particular part that I did so that you can see the nervousness in his face. And I said no, this is normal. So then he, once I said that he relaxed, he had no concern on his face anymore. I remember throwing up throughout my whole labor about three or four times. Now the second time, just fast forward a little bit. I did speak to Simone before she had gotten to the house, like she was on speaker and I spoke to her and I had told her that I had thrown up a couple of times.

They're like, no it's nothing for me to throw up. And she had suggested only taking sips of water. Now I was thirsty, oh man. In labor, I was so thirsty. I feel like I could drink a whole ocean but I think I was consuming the water too fast. And then of course with the shock of your body, it just was spitting it back out. So once she had suggested for me to take sips of water, I had asked my fiance to get me a straw. And once I started taking a sip of water, I didn't throw up from there. Simone had also suggested that I had like some type of peppermint, that didn't work for me. The peppermint just, it was something else for me to throw up.

And even during the contraction, even the motion of having the, I had like a little lifesaver, like a little small ring. Even having that in my mouth, I didn't want it. I spit it out. Like I didn't want nothing touching me, didn't want nothing on me. It's such an experience that you don't want anything. Or at least I didn't want anything. Not even a little candy in my mouth. I was like get this outta here. I didn't want no clothes on me, I just didn't want anything while I was in the contraction time. And then once it was over I was like, oh, give me everything.

It's just like night and day

Lisa (37m 14s): And labor can surprise us. Like a lot of times we want things that we didn't think we'd want and vice versa. And yeah, so that's all really interesting. I do have a question. I don't know how much you were in touch, were you, or your fiance was with you. Simone during this time when she was vomiting a lot, were you starting to wonder, is she later in, because often in transition right before pushing is the most common time to vomit, although some people vomit at any time in labor,

Simone (37m 41s): He was very in touch. He would constantly send, I think he was sending, maybe he was sending me multiple, I don't remember how many right now, but he was sending me multiple screenshots of her contractions. And when he told me that she threw up, that was the first thing I asked for. Let me see what her contractions are like. And I think that's when we spoke because I wanted to hear her voice to see where we were about her contractions, which was part of this interesting part of her story. Her contractions were still very spaced apart and irregular. And so I was just thinking this could be a part of that normal vomit of labor, which is why I made those suggestions.

And hindsight, she may very well have been in transition. They were, I think they were still like somewhere 15 to 17 minutes apart at this time.

Lisa (38m 24s): You know, we would think that as really early in general, right?

Simone (38m 28s): That’s for sure, yeah.

Sierra (38m 30s): So even for me, the throwing up aspect wasn't consistent. Like I had, I remember it was at 6:33 was the first time that I had thrown up again. Again maybe around seven something. And then at that point I lost track of time. Like I'm not looking at a clock, I don't know where my phone is. But I remember those two times specifically. And those two times were inside of our bedroom. So this is pre shower is before seven. So again, just trying to think of an approximate timeline.

Changing Techniques

After seven is when I got out of the shower. But at that point I have no concept of time. But then I transitioned from the bedroom to the living room. So the living room is where I had my yoga ball. So that had helped me during pregnancy as far as just feeling comfortable and I thought that I was gonna use that. I didn't want that to touch me. But I used it in different ways. I tried, like I was trying different things and it seemed like nothing was working. Maybe it was just because my contractions were coming so fast and looking at it in hindsight, there's no clock in my living room.

So that's another way that I had no concept of time. So I didn't know how close together my contractions were, but I remember talking to Simone and at that point I know I was laying on the couch and I had moved the yoga ball from the floor to put it on top of the couch so that I can lean on it. And I just was swaying to have some support because again, when those contractions came, my knees buckled. But at that point I had no concept of time because I didn't have any clocks in my living room. Maybe I should get one now that I think about it. So, I didn't know how far apart my contractions were, but they were coming closer together.

But again, so I had spoke to Simone. I remember being in the living room and I was talking to her and she's on speaker, I just got my eyes closed and she was just her voice. She just was like, she's very soft spoken and she's like, you're in early stages of labor. And It was like calming just to hear her and to just know that you got this. If you need me, call me, I'm coming. But again, just take your time. She had reminded me of some things and I think I had a contraction while I was talking to her. So I might have already phased out. But then when I came back, I remember hearing her say, just call me If you need me and I'll come.

We had already discussed, you know how birth would look when contractions got a little bit closer, that's when she would come to my home. And then when they got closer than that, then we would transition to going to the birthing center. So I was aware that early labor could be for a very long time. And in my mind even I'm like, this is early, I'm thinking like the sun had just came up. If I started at 4:30, I'm thinking maybe it's around 8:00 AM. Four hours, three and a half hours for my first time mom, this, we gonna be doing this for a while. This is the marathon at this point. But I didn't, again, I didn't realize how close my contractions had gotten together.

Simone Arrives

So we hung up. She was like, again, she reassured me, you got this, call me If you need me. And I said, okay cool. So I'm going through the motions with contractions. At this point I'm, I don't even think I'm talking. My fiance and I, we got some type of system going where I would look at him or raise my hand or something. He would start the contraction and then when it was over I would do something else. And, he got it. We had some type of system, I don't, we didn't plan on it but it worked at the time. Sometimes if he wasn't looking directly at me, I would be like, look at me. Cause just like sentences got hard and once that happened I said, call Simone, tell her I want her to come.

And he was like, you sure? And I’m like, why is he asking me, yes I’m sure, call Simone.

Lisa (41m 52s): Do not question a woman in labor.

Sierra (41m 55s): Don’t question me ever. So he did. Well I assumed that he texted Simone. I found out later on that he did in fact text Simone. But then he told Simone, she wants you to come but I don’t think you should, the audacity. So luckily–

Simone (42m 14s): In his defense he sends me the screenshot, he says, Sierra's asking for you, but I don't think she's ready yet. And so I still said, I will come and I'll be there in an hour. But he was like, whatever, take your time.

Sierra (42m 29s): In my mind, right? I don't know that this conversation is transpiring. I'm thinking if Sierra says come Simone is coming and she'll be there within, I'm thinking 20 minutes, she lives about 10 minutes from me, but give a little time to get her bag together. And I'm like, what is taking Simone so long? But again, I don't really have a concept of time. So I'm like, well maybe sometimes when you want something to happen, time slows down. But for me, I'm like, where’s Simone, I remember thinking that maybe two times, but then before I knew it she was there and I guess like my body just waited for her.

Cause she came in, and in pregnancy, I love pressure points. That was my favorite thing I loved. It would just be like, oh, just do it some more. Just do it some more. Because it relieved so much pressure. You know, on my lower back and my hip area, Simone came in and she got right to, she touched me and I said, oh, so she instantly got over me and I think I, I don't remember seeing her face because for the most part I think that I labored with my eyes closed. But like majority of the time. I, so I don't know if I seen her face or I just pictured her face like, like, you know, like so surprised. Like what did I do, did I break something? And then it, I also remember maybe a few minutes later, to me it's two minutes, but I don't really know. I asked her to do it again. So in my mind she's like, now you want me to do it after you almost killed me for touching you when I first came? We laughed about that after I had given birth and everything. But again, what you had mentioned, Lisa, like you just, you don't know what you want. You can tell yourself to prepare and say this is exactly how it's going to be, but you really do not know until the time. So with that being said, I would just say try to prepare for everything, even things that you only like a little bit or even the things that you think that you don't like.

Just if there's things that could help you, whether it be like ice or blankets or pillows. Just whatever you think that you can get your hands on, just have it all available at the time. Because one, you never know when it's going to happen. And then two, you don't know exactly what you're going to like at the time. So just having, for me, having as many options as possible was the best thing. Yeah. So

Lisa (44m 33s): I can just say something on that.

Sierra: Sure.

Lisa: In class I always say it, we're just building a toolkit of options and tools for you to draw from and experiment with and see what works when you're actually in the big day because it can be so unpredictable. So thanks for pointing that out.

Contractions Escalate Quickly

Sierra (44m 47s): Yeah, so I remember Simone as soon as she came in, she had asked my fiance, his name is Aneudy, I'm sorry. And she was like, I saw that she had a contraction for four minutes. Was that a mistake? And he is like, I can tell that he was confident like, I know my job and I'm doing my job to the best of my ability. He was like, no, I started it and I stopped it as soon as she told me. And I wanted to laugh because it just, the way that he said it was so confidently, no, did my job, this is my job and I take pride in it and this is what I did.

So, again, I think my eyes are closed, but in my mind I picture Simone, like that's a little weird, but we'll let's see where this goes. So now I have a contraction and I think I have another one. And at that point she's like, if she has another contraction, we're gonna start heading to the birthing center. And lo and behold, I have another one. So she's, so again, I don't have any clothes on. They're like trying, she's trying to get me dressed and I'm like, and every time I moved I had a contraction but I wasn't putting it together. As far as the contractions being so close together.

Like I'm not thinking that in that frame of mind. I'm just thinking if I move my leg, I have a contraction. So you know what? Don't move, in my mind. That's how I had said it to myself. Don't move, just breathe. And so the thought of putting on clothes, I'm like, I don't wanna. I don't. And I just remember not even helping, and Simone, she was trying, my baby just, I didn't wanna put those clothes on. But again, we had to go to the birthing center at this point.

Feeling the Urge to Push

And then the distance from my couch to the door to go down the steps to leave the apartment. I don't know, is it about 10 feet? It's not a long distance at all. And I remember telling someone, I feel like I have to push. She's like don't push. And I'm like, I just feel so much pressure. And then I walk towards the steps and then I, I don't know if I had a contraction or I just didn't wanna go. I don't even know what's happening at this point. But I remember trying to lay down and she grabbed me back up.

No, you cannot lay down. but I think what it was too is that’s when I was going through the heat flashes, and the floor was very cool. So I wanted to lay on the floor during my contraction when I was very hot. But then as soon as the contraction was over and I was cold, I wanted to be off the floor. Cause again, now I'm freezing cold and now I feel like I'm in the middle of a ice skating rink.

Simone (47m 8s): Well, just to clarify, Sierra was trying to lay flat on her stomach. Like she wanted to just fall out onto her stomach, which is why I grabbed her back up because she was going belly flopped down on her stomach. And I was like, you cannot lay on your stomach.

Lisa (47m 26s): And can I also ask Simone, maybe you have a better idea of what, around what time this was?

Simone (47m 30s): Yeah. This was say 10:15, 10:20. Yeah. So I had been there for maybe 20 minutes, got to her house at 9:50. So we hadn't been there long. I was only there for about a half an hour before her contractions started to come every two to three minutes.

Sierra (47m 46s): I think it's shorter than that cuz remember at 10:15 it was showtime.

Simone (47m 50s): Right, So it took five minutes. This was probably 10:15 when you're falling on the floor, you get to the stairs and you walk down like two stairs and she's like, I wanna go to the bathroom. But this was because it's, it is really close. So between trying to get to the stairs and your water breaking, it was maybe five minutes. Yeah,

Sierra (48m 7s): Yeah, you're right. What's, let's see exactly what time did the, let me look at my notes for the water.

Simone (48m 12s): Oh I Can tell you. I'll Never forget any of this. Yeah, what would you like to know? I can tell you. Your water broke at 10:24.

Sierra (48m 19s): Yes. Okay, so that's the five. Yes. So yeah, so yeah, you would have been there about half an hour. So again, so now I'm trying to be belly flop as Simone would say, I can't attest to that. All I can say is that I was trying to lay down, how the laying happened, you know, I dunno. And then I, again, I felt a lot of pressure and I was telling Simone like, I feel so much pressure. And she's like, where's the pressure? I was like in my butt. Like I'm not thinking that the pressure, yes, we've, I've heard stories of how women are in labor and when they're pushing they do poop sometimes.

But during labor I'm thinking that the pressure should be vaginally not in, by my anal area. And that's where I felt that I didn't feel anything in my vaginal area. And so I'm just like, oh I gotta poop. Like Simone, we've been trying to get me to poop. That's one of the things that you want If, you don't, you want your bladder to be empty. You don't want all yourself to be full. So I'm like, lemme go to the bathroom. And she's, no, we're going out the door. I take two steps down the, I walked down two steps and all I had my water broke.

So I said, okay, so now's showtime. Right? So Simone came, now we're on our way to the birthing center. Ok cool. This is going as planned, this was the plan. But again, I have to use the bathroom. Simone's not letting me, I can see I'm going down the stairs backwards because just like the pressure of that was too much. No. So if I could have slid down the stairs, that was my preference, maybe on top of a, something flat and just go boo boo, boo boo down all of the steps as like a kid in the snow, when you're going down the hill, just go straight down.

Woo. That's what I wanted to do.

Lisa (49m 58s): And can I ask, I'm thinking Simone right now, in this moment, is thinking, oh we might not make it.

Simone (50m 6s): Yeah, well I don't know if at that moment I was thinking we might not make it, but I knew we needed to move. Like we needed to get there because things had progressed very quickly and I had no idea where she was from a dilation. But she definitely had a consistent urge to poop. And I was asking her questions that I know she doesn't remember now. Like when the contraction was over because we were still tracking them is when she was still saying No, but I have to go. I knew she, I remember her saying that the bathroom's right there. And I was like, Nope, we are going to the car.

Because she had that pressure after. I honestly was, I don't know if I was believing or hoping that we would make it, but I did not think that we would not make it at this point. It was like maybe three minutes later I was like ok, we're not gonna make it. But at this moment on the stairs, I was trying my best to make it.

Lisa (50m 58s): Gotcha

Getting in the Car and Heading to the Birthing Center

Sierra (50m 59s): I just thought that this was normal. I'm not, I'm oh, my water just broke. So again, my fiance, he is putting all of the stuff in the car. So at this point when my water broke I was between them two, I'm sandwiched. So Simone's at the top of the steps. Ordinarily if I was going down the steps, normally she would be behind me. But now, cause I was going down backwards, she's in front of me and then now he's behind me. So now of course now I have to be careful cause again the stairs are wet. It's just, I have on sweatpants, they're soaking wet. But again, the goal is to get to the car, to get to the birthing center.

Let's get going, go down the steps. I don't remember, I remember getting down to the landing. So going down all the steps, I had my eyes closed the entire time. I don't even know how I walked down, I guess instinct. And then I remember we had to go around the car to the driver's side for me to get inside of the back seat. Cause we had already installed the car seat on the passenger side in the back and, usually, just a sidebar, you know, Simone and I had discussed during class and everything that she usually takes her personal vehicle so that she isn't so she can leave about a hour or so after the baby latches and everything like that so she could be able to leave.

It didn't even occur to me at the time that Simone was in the car with us, which was outta the norm from what we had planned on. But oh thank gosh she was there. So Simone and I are intertwined in the backseat. My fiance, he has a Jeep Cherokee so he's driving. Simone and I we're rushing. So like we just get in the backseat, somebody's chasing us, you close the door. We we're there. I remember late during my labor, I know that like rocking was good for me. That was what I was comfortable with. So that's what I thought that I was gonna continue to do. So I remember being in the back seat and I tried to face the back, like to hold on to the back seat.

But now again I'm in the middle because the car seat is installed. And, he hit some turn where I slid and then I just stayed there. I stayed like why am I gonna, cause I, in my mind this is gonna happen again. He wasn't driving erratically but he was driving fast. It's things that turns and stuff like that happen so fast and it's really nothing for me to grab on. So I remember I'm leaning over the car seat base just as the car seat is not there. The car seat physically is in the trunk aspect of the trunk. So it's just the base part.

So cause I slid, now I'm leaning over so like my head is like touching the door and I'm just there still. I'm all fours pretty much. But I'm able to, and that's all I care about. Simone, I remember she is facing me like, so she has one knee in the chair. Her other leg is up and like she's holding on to some driver's side seat and then like she's leaning towards the back but she's facing sideways. She's not facing sitting down like towards the front of the car, towards the windshield. But I know our legs are intertwined somehow because I'm facing her at this point and she's facing me.

So we're together. We go together. Simone. So is

Lisa (53m 52s): This a large backseat? What kind of vehicle?

Sierra (53m 55s): Jeep's, Cherokee. I mean it's a three seater but again cause the car seat basically taking up that seat, we're really in the middle and then in the, in one seat. So one and a half seats were in, Simone's hanging on the door with one foot on the floor, one knee in the seat holding onto Sierra while we're driving because there's no space for Simone's just sort of hanging. I was convinced my legs wouldn't work when we got out the car. It's just space for one knee on the seat for me, my Baby floor and for and for me, I didn’t have two knees in the seat but my head is on the door. So I mean there's space in theory but not comfortable space. Neither one of us are comfortable at this point. Right. I have a hard that I'm trying to not have my stomach on my head. Literally on. I remember my forehead was touching the door. That's where I was. But again, it, however it was, it worked for us at the time.

Lisa (54m 52s): I’m envisioning your butt in Simone's face, is that about right?

Sierra (54m 55s): Not to say that, but yes. Lisa. Yes. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is, and then not only my butt but my wet butt.

Simone (55m 11s): Well Whatever Works. I didn't notice any of that at the moment. Right, right. I really wasn't. It was like, okay, this is where we are.

Sierra (55m 18s): This is how it's

Lisa (55m 19s): Yeah. In like hyperdrive mode. Yeah,

Sierra (55m 21s): Right. But in hindsight absolutely. That's exactly what it was. And it is funny to even think about it. Like there was things that we could have done or maybe even should have done even like why was Simone in the back and maybe not in the front. She would've had more space. But again, like you're not thinking of any of that. At the time I thought

Simone (55m 39s): It was no way I was getting in the front, your water had just broken. You were feeling rectal pressure. There was no way that I could leave you in the back alone. I definitely thought about it and none of it was an option.

Sierra (55m 50s): But to me, I, in the back alone, we're in a car together. you know, I'm not, again, at the time it wasn't even a thought. But now looking at it in hindsight and then even seeing everyone was sending me the picture of the woman who had gave birth. Think she was in like in Atlanta or something and she was in the front seat and the baby was in her pants. They were like, you sending me that? And I'm like, no, that wasn't me. But it could have been. I mean had Simone been in, I probably would have gotten in the front seat had it just been my fiance and I compared to being that Simone was there, she, Simone put me in the seat. I think Simone, I think it was you.

Yeah,

Laboring in the Car

Simone (56m 23s): I told you to get in the backseat on your knees because I know sitting on your butt, the pressure would not have been comfortable. And I wanted to help you through the contractions, not help you deliver the baby.

Sierra (56m 34s): I don't remember, I don't you telling me that to honest. I just remember being guided and then cause my eyes was closed, I, I'm just going with it. I'll go where you tell me to go at this point. Just get this over with. So we're in the backseat again. Our ride is about 40 minutes, no traffic from point A to point B. The birthing center. I knew that cause he was driving fast. We probably, the day of the week is a Sunday, so it was a Sunday morning. You figure it's about 10:20. Not so much traffic you would assume at this time of day. So good timing.

Cause something that we had discussed is like what If you going into labor at 5:00 PM on a Friday? I said, oh wow, my might as well walk in cause the traffic is just going to be crazy. So the day of the week, the time of day, that definitely played in our favor or at least so I thought that it was, so we're in the car again. I slid to the side, my behind is in the air just getting through it. And I remember having a contraction. And then I tried to reposition myself again. My head is still on the door but I might lean to the left a little bit or lean to the right.

Feeling Baby’s Head

And when I tried to reposition my legs, I felt something in between my legs. So I said, self, what is this? So in my mind, right, this is just, I'm just in myself. I just said, I said before I say anything, let me check it out for myself. So picture me again, head on the door. I don't, my arms, I don't even know where my arms are at this point, but I'm assuming they're helping me guide the door so I don't break my neck up here, a car seat base.

I keep looking back at the base cause I'm picturing how this is going, trying to navigate it. So I guess I, I'm very uncomfortable I can tell you that much. There's not much room back here. So now I have to maneuver to get my arm into my sweatpants to see what this is. And between my legs I'm thinking that nobody's seeing me do this. but I think that, right? And hindsight now when Simone and I are trying to do it like in secrecy, so I'm doing it like real slow at least. So I thought that I was, and so I put my reaching and I feel, I said Simone, I feel the, I, I surprised myself.

I dunno what I thought it was. But to be completely honest, I did not think that it was a head, I don’t what I thought it was. I know that I felt something like what is this in between my legs? Maybe it was, dunno, I couldn't even give myself enough time to think about what it was. But I know that it was something that was hard and I couldn't close my legs. I was apprehensive about closing my legs. So I go and I feel it. But now I can feel that this is round and this is hard and this has hair, this isn't, I said Simone.

So Simone goes, she has to shimmy my pants down again. My legs are wide. I have on sweatpants that are not really, some pants are more like, has more give than others. These have a little give, but the waist don't have much give. I don't know if the drawstring was tight. Maybe when I do laundry and I tie this string together so that you don't lose the string. I think that might have been what it was. But it wasn't easy. So like, so she couldn't just pull my pants straight down. She gotta go to the left, go to the right, go to the left, go to the right.

She's shimmying them down. And then I remember her saying, oh, so I guess we're gonna have this baby in the car, that we're in. So I, so now I sat up a little bit because I think once I felt the head I instinctively got up, am I ordering, am I sitting or what am I doing? We were on the phone with the birthing center. We had called them from when we first got in a car. I'm sorry, I had missed that part. Just so you know.

Simone (1h 0m 13s): We hadn't called them. We hadn't called them yet.

Sierra: You hadn’t called them yet?

Simone: No, we called them at this point. So when we saw the, when I pulled your pants down, the head was crowning. I said we have two options. We can go to the hospital or we can go to the birthing center, but we're about to have the baby in the car. And when Aneudy decided that I had to make the decision of what we were doing and I suggested if it was me based on all the things that you said, we should go to the birthing center. Either way we wasn't making it to the hospital. I said call the birthing center so that they're on the phone.

We called after the head was out.

Sierra (1h 0m 46s): Really? Yeah,

Simone (1h 0m 48s): No

Sierra (1h 0m 49s): We called as soon as we got in the car. Cause I remember, or at least what I thought, at least this is how I thought of the story, was that we were on the phone with them while we were going. Because once the, at least for me it happened so fast. Once the head was out, you was like, well the next contraction you could push. And I thought we were already on the phone with the birthing center.

Simone (1h 1m 10s): Yeah. So we called them to let them know that we were on our way and we disconnected, right? Oh

Sierra (1h 1m 17s): We're

Simone (1h 1m 17s): On our way. And then the, when the head was crowning and we decided to keep going to the birthing center, I asked Aneudy to call back and I announced that the head by the time she picked up his head was out.

Sierra (1h 1m 31s): Oh yeah. I thought we was on the phone the whole time.

Simone (1h 1m 34s): Right?

Sierra (1h 1m 34s): I've been telling the story wrong. I didn’t know that you called

Simone (1h 1m 44s): but yeah, we called them once his head was out.

A Backseat Birth

Sierra (1h 1m 50s): So I re so she was like, well next, next contraction you could push. And I just remember maybe, I don't know, not even a minute later, the contraction came and I pushed and I had my son and I could not believe it like in the car. And I remember just looking to the side cause that's all I can do at this point. But now again, I'm in the middle of the seat now. So Simone and I are even closer, right? She don't have no more space. Like she might as well be trying to go out the window. And I looked to the side and I, we were right next to JFK airport and in the middle of, I think we were in the middle lane.

Cause again, like this wasn't planned. So I don't even think that, I know that I didn't say it. Or even if we had enough time to even say pull over, let's pull over so that we could just have this kid. And it just happened so fast. As soon as she said Next contraction you could push. I felt, oh I won. Oh, I can do it now. Cause every other time she was telling me don't do it. Don't do it. So she gave me the green light. I said, oh I can boom And. he was out and just, oh I didn't even tell you guys that I didn’t. We didn't know the sex of the baby. So we had went the entire pregnancy with not knowing.

So my recollection of the story was that Simone kept saying she, I think she was referring to me when she was saying like she's okay talking about me. But she was talking to the doctor that was on the phone in, in the birthing center. But my fiance, he says that she first said he referring to the baby and then as she continued to speak she kept saying she, so in my mind I didn't hear the first part, the he part. So I thought we had a girl. But again I had to see it for myself. So now baby is out, Simone has baby, she is like, she's, she's patting her back.

And now I am trying to get ourselves like not intertwined anymore and for me to now do a 180. So instead of me being face forward, now I am leaned forward like lean upright. So while she's doing all of this, so now again, it's not much space. I can't bring baby so high. Cause again, baby is still attached by the umbilical cord and everything. I had not delivered in the car. But now I gotta see for myself. So I can come all the way up and I'm trying to go down, I gotta see what's happening here. And when I saw his little balls I said, oh boy what?

But again, so at that point I put baby head in between my breasts for the most part. But most of the body is on my belly because he can't come up any further. But I know that skin to skin, that's what we're doing. Like I know I'm like, oh my baby is so cold. Like we're trying to just get him warm and I know that I'm crying. I hear Simone like I, I see fiance just, I see Nu just wiping his face. He not making no noise though. He's trying to do it in private. But I caught him. I caught him. I it, he tried to trick me. Cause I just now at this point I can see, I can.

it was all, I couldn't see anything cause my head was literally in the seat. So now it's like I, didn’t had a birth too. Oh, I can see the world. So yes, baby is on my chest. We are by JFK Airport and I'm just like, holy moly. My fiance and I, we travel a lot. So just the irony of it all, it's just like I said, oh so my son wanted to travel. See we couldn't travel my third trimester. Look at where he wanna come out at right next to JFK Airport.

This is my son for real. I dunno about anything else as of now. I dunno really what he look like. I can't really even inspect him at this point because we so close together but we can't really, really move him so much. But I just want him on my skin. But I'm Wow, you my baby, you trying to be out in JFK point. That's my boy.

Lisa (1h 5m 26s): That is perfect. And for people who don't live in the area, well I don't know where you started from exactly, but I'm guessing that was only probably halfway ish to the, it

Sierra (1h 5m 37s): Was about halfway. We had been in the car for about 10 minutes. So baby came out at exactly 10:35 AM So just to just recap, contraction started at about 4:30 AM Simone arrived at about 9:50, water broke at about 10:23 in the car and baby is out at 10:35 on our way to the birthing center. Who, who would have thought? So, wow. I was in labor for a total of six hours of my first child with a natural birth, which is just insane.

Lisa (1h 6m 13s): Amazing. So from there, did you go ahead to the birthing center? Yes.

Arriving at the Birthing Center

Sierra (1h 6m 17s): So we went to a birthing center and it was funny because now my pants are just, let's paint the picture. Baby is on my chest. I have on my fiance's big shirt that he was trying to find a shirt for me. And, he picked out a shirt, you know, when it was time for me to get dressed and I said no, that wasn't too tight. That's not gonna be comfortable. So I guess he said the hell with this And, he just went and got one of his shirts. So I have a big shirt, but now the shirt is up high because again, I'm doing skin to skin with baby and I'm not covering my baby face. Uhuh, right? So I have my shirt up here to my neck, but it's all big.

My sweatpants are soaking wet but they're at my ankles and I'm trying to get out again. We have to get out on the driver's side because the car seat is on the passenger side and, but the birthing center is on the side of the passenger side. So we have to walk around. But I don't have no clothes on and I'm not thinking about it. I remember seeing Simone wrap a towel around me real fast and she's trying to walk with me. So now we're like each taking a step together so that I'm not naked pretty much in the middle of the street.

But I can get less. I'm just trying to get my baby outta this January weather. Inside of,

Lisa (1h 7m 25s): I'm also just to point out that a lot of birthing centers and like other more rural places are more isolated. But this is actually like pretty, a pretty populated area of Brooklyn, right? I mean it's a,

Sierra (1h 7m 38s): It was

Simone (1h 7m 39s): Walking in, there were people walking up the sidewalk. Yeah, watching us walk in, which is why we have one towel on baby and we have one towel around Sierra and I'm trying to like keep her covered because she only has on the t-shirt at this point. So yeah,

Sierra (1h 7m 54s): So we're almost, we're going inside of the birthing center. We, there's like a couple of little steps that you have to walk up. But again, like we were, it's literally a main street that we're on and we go inside, they check it, check in baby. They're checking me making sure that everything is good. We bring in all of our stuff. I don't, in hindsight I don't really even know why Even Simone, she brought her bag and I remember her saying I got all of my stuff. didn't even get a chance to do any of my tricks. All of, I had like my birthing bag with all of these things that I thought that I would need and use. And we had the baby in the car.

So all of our tools and all of those things didn't get used. I just have 'em. I guess I'll have, I mean I unpacked the bag so it was not ready for another child and I don't have plan on having a child so soon. But again now at least I had the experience of packing a bag so I know how to do it. But I didn't use any of the things that I packed for my bag. You don't need that. you have a home that You Sure now I'll be more prepared I guess to do the things in the house.

But I, I just look at it and I'm like, if Simone hadn't gotten there when she did, I know I would not have made the call to leave the house. I'm still thinking that I'm very early in labor, like baby's not coming anytime soon. So then even with the contractions being so irregular, I, I don't have a concept of time again. So I don't know. But again, I don't, I think baby waited for Simone honestly because after Simone got there, my contractions had started coming every two minutes and that's what made her say if she has one more we're gonna head to the birthing center.

So that's odd to go from 17 or 15 minutes or even 10 minutes to just shoot straight to two minutes is a drastic change. And only a matter of probably 10, 15 minutes. That was a huge change. So it was definitely an added benefit to also have Simone there because she was the one who made the call to do it. Because I mean looking at it now, I know that I probably would not have made the call, but it seems like my fiance was questioning me anyway about the calls that I was making since when I told him to call Simone, he was like, oh no, I mean she wants you to, but I don't think she should.

So I can only imagine if I said, oh I think we should go to the hospital. You think that he would agree with me? He probably would've been like, oh I don't think we should go. Cause all of a sudden he's a professional here, right? Oh the classes, Simone, the classes

Lisa (1h 10m 16s): Because in class we do, we're like, it's usually really long early labor, no rush to go. So they've been kinda indoctrinated with coaching.

Sierra (1h 10m 26s): Yeah. So I'm like, you know, but again, I don't think, I think we probably would have had a unassisted home birth. And just a sidebar, like my fiance, he does, I mean I don't really like fluids. Like I said, I don't think that I can be a doctor or doula or stuff like that. I don't think I would do well. But think about me times infinity with him be like even it was certain points like during class where we spoke about did he want to catch the baby skin to skin on him And, he was saying how he was gonna do all of this stuff with gloves on and all the baby had to be clean before he had the skin to skin.

Some of it was joking, right? He wasn't gonna have gloves on. But the skin to skin part, like we were talking about like vernix And, he was like Simone and I laughed cause Simone would just always like always kind of look at me and see whether or not he was playing or if he was serious. And some of the stuff he was playing, he, he's playful, but when it came to the vernix I said No, no, he's serious on that one. Like I don't think he would've, so I could only imagine what if I would've pushed early on the first time when I wanted to push prior to even walking towards the step. And would've thought if my water would've broke and it would've got all over him, I don't know how he would've responded.

So what you think he would've,

Simone (1h 11m 35s): I think he would've done what he normally does that throw up face or actually I've quiet, he would've been traumatized.

Sierra (1h 11m 53s): It was like again, I'm definitely like, again this whole process, even from my water breaking to delivering my baby was only a matter of 10 minutes. So I know that had we been home and Simone not been there, I don't know how this would've worked out. I don't know if the baby just would've came out on his own. I just don't know. I can't even fathom how the sequence of events would've been because either I would've pushed maybe too soon or it's just so many variables that I just don't know how the things and our story just, it worked out the way that it was supposed to and definitely very blessed, grateful of the experience.

Post-Birth Reflections

I continued Simone's streak of not tearing and didn't have any tears. That was something that we had discussed prior to just about the things that she suggested. I do prenatal and I was apprehensive. I'm very picky when it comes to the things that I eat. And Simone was like, no, you have to do this and you have to do that. So I did it. Don't get me wrong, I did it reluctantly. But I did it and everything combined, it just worked well. I had a healthy baby, I had a great pregnancy. Delivery was fast for the most part and eventful but fast.

I can't say that it was painless, but I thought that pushing would have been the most difficult part. And for me, I pushed one time maybe twice, I don't remember pushing to get his head out. I, that part I do not remember doing. But I do remember when she gave me the okay to push. I pushed one time and the baby came out. So the pushing part of my labor was not the worst part, it was the contractions that was the most intense for me. But just again very grateful, very blessed to have had the experience I had.

And it's a great story. Like it is a cliffhanger. And then now that we got the birth certificate, it actually says on the birth certificate that my son Jackson was born in the car. Which I didn't know what they was gonna put but when I saw it I said Oh, like they really put this on the birth certificate. So it's, it's I mean that the story could have changed but having it on the birth certificate like almost makes it official. It's no way that it could change Now, not that it could, but the birth certificate is the official record that shows Jackson was born in the car.

Lisa (1h 14m 6s): That is awesome. I never thought about it. I never thought like what would I put on the birth certificate if they're put on the highway or do they put any kinda like address like JFK airport?

Sierra (1h 14m 16s): They do Lisa. I couldn't believe it cause I filled out the form for the birth certificate. Now it might have said location, I might have said on the highway. I know specifically on the birth it says exit 19. I know I did not put that because I dunno the exit. So you just, as you're driving, especially when you're familiar If, you even know the name of the of the exit. That might be a plus. But I definitely did not know the number so I don't know if they looked it up. I'm not sure if at the birthing center they did.

I know that I did not put exit number 19, but it says that specific exit on his birth certificate. It's crazy. I'll send you a picture of it so that you can include it so that everyone can see.

Lisa (1h 14m 58s): Oh that would be awesome. Thank you so much. Oh my goodness, this has been so much fun. Sierra, I just, oh what an amazing story. Like you said you have to share with everyone now and I really just sending you gratitude for taking the time. So early on in your parenting journey to share, is there anything else that you didn't get to share that you'd like to share before we start to wind things down?

The Importance of Research and Preparation

Sierra (1h 15m 21s): I just wanna say do as much research as you can. Take everything in, just be a sponge. And that's for moms and for dads. Both parties are very important when it comes to just the pregnancy experience. It starts before labor. It starts way before labor. For me, I started pretty early on so I would suggest that too. But no matter where you are in your current state, whether you're in your first, second or third trimester, the earlier the better. And just try to get as much knowledge as possible so that you feel comfortable. I think that was what was maybe the best thing that I could say as far as with my experience is us both being knowledgeable, so myself and my partner included.

And then of course having the support person. So Simone, she was knowledgeable. She is my doula, right? But even If, you don't have a doula even though I would recommend it a million times over. But If, you don't have a doula, but you're also going to have an additional support person. Have them be knowledgeable as well because they ultimately, sometimes you get into a state where certain things I can't remember or certain things that I just didn't concern myself with at the time. I just didn't have the energy or just the mindset to do it. You need the people that are around you to also be knowledgeable so that they know the signs, they know what to do and they can help you through your journey even when you don't know that you need help.

So that's overall, try to be as knowledgeable as possible when it comes to just the very techniques that you can do, the different places, just everything, whatever you can think of, just try to take it all in. And then at the time you'll be able to use what I'll say, have that as your toolbox and you'll be able to take out whatever tools you know you need at the time. And again, be open-minded to it changing. Because again, I had a plan of having a Waterbirth. I mean, I guess there was water near me somewhere on the highway, but again, that wasn't what my plan was.

Recipe for a Quick Birth

And I did everything that I was supposed to do to ensure that I would have at least the option. it was still open enough to say that if it, if didn't happen for whatever reason, that was okay. But that was my goal, but I didn't even make it to the birthing center. So that's another aspect that of course we had Simone, so she helped us. But even for myself as far as breathing through and not straining and doing all those type of things, like I, the same day that I delivered in a birthing center, you don't stay there overnight. So I came home within a couple of hours.

Like if one of my neighbors was looking out the window, they would not have believed that I came home with the baby within that short period of time. I literally left the house at about 10:25. I was back home before 3:00 PM. That's the turnover, you know, for me it was a great turnover. I didn't, and honestly, if I had in my way, I probably would've left the birthing center prior to that because I, I remember asking Simone and I whispered to her too, I think I was like, Simone, like what we doing here? Like why we still here? And she was like, they gotta check you out. And I'm like, why, don't I have the baby already? Like what?

What do you mean? Like I'm ready to go. Cause in my mind, of course like the birthing center, it feels like home. Like the way that the rooms are set up, you don't feel like you're in a hospital. It was definitely like a home setting. So in my mind I really didn't wanna get comfortable there, like to take a nap or do anything. Honestly, I wasn't tired. I think I didn’t, my adrenaline was pumping so fast. But again, I wasn't tired. So like why am I here? I'm ready to take this baby home because that's what I had planned on doing and let's get it going. But again, I'm not having any tearing, not having any swelling.

My cervix, I guess again. If, you look back at my first appointment the day before 24 hours, my head, the, my midwife had said that my cervix was very soft. So the techniques that, the things that Simone had suggested for me to do, all of those things, it definitely was just a recipe for a great experience. And I mean, I'm a little bit nervous to do it again cause I don't know if the next experience would be this. This might not need any help. Yeah, might not need help. But who knows if it's gonna like this small, like just everything about it.

Like it, when you look back on it, people just wait for your first kid. This breathing was just new and it happened so fast and without any complications. Even things like swelling. I didn't have that. I couldn't believe that I had a kid myself. Like how am I feeling so normal? What? How? no. And I mean my son, he was six pounds, 15 ounces. So not a huge baby, but definitely not a tiny little thing. So why don't I feel like I had a baby? I did not feel that way. I felt like it was the day before while I was still pregnant or even pregnant without a bigger belly.

Like maybe in my second trimester. Because things that you don't have now a huge belly anymore. But I felt so normal. And I think that also just was like, you know, psyche of just being relaxed and feeling comfortable and just having great support. People like all of that. you don't realize how much that can, that can help you like without even you noticing.

Ripening the Cervix and Preparing Body for Birth

Lisa (1h 20m 6s): And do you mind sharing any of the specific tips Simone gave you in terms of softening, ripening the cervix, helping with that?

Sierra (1h 20m 14s): Oh,

Lisa (1h 20m 15s): Or maybe Simone does

Sierra (1h 20m 17s): The cockroaches.

Simone (1h 20m 27s): I don't think I suggested cockroaches.

Sierra (1h 20m 30s): The dates are the cockroaches. You, oh my goodness. So again, I am a very picky eater and I had never had a date before. I honestly, I didn't know what a date was. I think you talking about me and my fiance going out and hanging out. That's a date not what this Simone's talking about. No. So it's a dried fruit. And if I say they look like cockroaches and I'm going to send Lisa the picture of the date that I had.

Maybe there's different dates out here, but I'll send the picture of the dates that I had because I had a big container and I opened it. I said, how am I gonna eat this, Simone? What are you doing to me? Like torture in my mind. Like before I even tasted just looking at it, I said, oh my god, I'm not gonna be able to do this. I'm stressed out now. Like this is probably one of the hardest. When I tried the dates, I said, oh this is, I'm not gonna be able to do this. That was like the first moment that I said, oh no, I have what else can I do?

Trade me something. And not only did I have to eat the date, but she said six dates per day. Oh, I was sweating. Oh my goodness.

Lisa (1h 21m 46s): It's a lot. It's a lot of sweet.

Sierra (1h 21m 49s): It's no, but it's the consistency. It's not bad to be honest. Like I, this is my, just the way that I'm thinking about it before even trying it, it's a very sweet fruit. But the texture, oh no, it took me, I'm not exaggerating, Lisa, it took me at least 10 minutes to chew one date. And I felt like as I chewed it became bigger. As you chew,

Lisa (1h 22m 17s): It's absorbing the moisture.

Sierra (1h 22m 18s): Oh my God. Oh wow. But all I can say, I felt like I was chewing like bubblegum. you know how bubblegum gets larger, larger. And the day I chewed and it was slow cause it's sticky and oh, oh, whoa, speak.

Simone (1h 22m 36s): What worked for Sierra was, I don't know if she, I joked with her about this during pregnancy one hydration, but steaming evening primrose oil. But what was really interesting about Sierra was she danced a lot and I saw her Instagram that she would drop it like it's hot on a regular basis. And I said to her, we need all of these playlists. Let's keep that same energy. And every other day she was at someone's baby shower or something dropping this hot.

Sierra (1h 23m 9s): It was a holiday the day she gave birth. but I think it was all those deep squats that she was doing and then in the evening, primrose oil. And of course like all doulas say sex, right? I think those were the things that I really suggested for the surveys. but I think her key was dropping the leg like it was hot regularly.

Sierra (1h 23m 28s): Staying active. Staying active.

Simone (1h 23m 30s): No, it was the, it was specifically the deep

Lisa (1h 23m 34s): Squat.

Sierra (1h 23m 34s): The deep squat

Lisa (1h 23m 35s): For sure. That's to help physically help the baby come down closer to meeting you. Yeah. So close that you couldn't make it to the birthing stage.

Sierra (1h 23m 43s): I do just wanna add If, you please ladies eat the dates. But what worked for me was put it in a smoothie. So what I did was I put it in my blender with some water. I let that blend first and then I added in the extra ingredients because the first time I made them, I put the dates in my smoothie because the dates are so sweet, it chunked up in my smoothie and Oh no, I didn't like that either. But you just have to find different ways. I know that I was saying like for me, I wanna warn you, nobody warned me, so I wanna warn you about the cockroaches, aka, the dates, but do it they work.

They do work. Or at least they helped me from what I believe. If you are anything like me, put it in the smoothie so that you're not actually chewing it and then you won't taste it. And honestly it's very sweet. So it will add a sweetness to your smoothie. So that is it. But Simone said the primrose or you both taking it orally and also having your partner assist you, or even you doing it by yourself. But I just feel like your partner is able to insert it higher, closer to your cervix. So that definitely helped. Just everything like saying active, just listen. And again, being open-minded and educated, all of that together will help you do things that works for you.

Do what works for you so that you're able to just have the experience that you want.

Closing Remarks

Lisa (1h 24m 55s): Thank you. Sierra. Just wanted to give Simone, do you have any last things you wanted to say to Sierra or to the listeners?

Simone (1h 25m 3s): Well, I said this to Sierra, but it was such an amazing journey going through this process, getting to know her, her and her family being a part of this journey. So thank you for allowing me to be a part of this journey. I will never ever forget any of the details about it, but just huge amounts of gratitude for being a part of it and being a part of your family. Now

Sierra (1h 25m 25s): For real, because you stuck with me. Simone, you stuck.

Lisa (1h 25m 29s): She's family now, right? Yes.

Sierra (1h 25m 30s): No one a thousand percent without a doubt.

Lisa (1h 25m 35s): Oh, well thank you again.

Sierra (1h 25m 37s): You look for having me.