When Evelyn & James conceive their baby, they have no idea they’ll be giving birth during a pandemic. As a dancer and trainer, she even keeps touring for a while with her dance company and teaching Pilates classes for part of pregnancy and just before Covid gets real. Once the pandemic hits, they decide to abruptly leave NYC to be closer to Evelyn’s family to give birth down in Houston, never thinking that it might just be a permanent move away from NYC. Ultimately, they decide to give birth at a freestanding birthing center, not wanting to give birth in a hospital given the risks of Covid-19, and then they have a postdates waterbirth supported by doulas, her husband and midwives. Evelyn and James share their son's birth story today but then Evelyn also shares a bit about her postpartum healing journey, and describes some of the work she’s doing now to virtually support pregnant and postpartum parents as a physical trainer with her company, Spaces of Fitness.
Resources:
Spacesoffitness.com / @spacesoffitness / spacesoffitness@gmail.com
Bay Area Birthing Center (Houston)
Hydroflask (while you’re at it, grab these Nuun electrolyte tablets that are super portable — you can just dissolve into your water bottle)*
Dr. Sarah Duvall, Core Exercise Solutions - training pelvic floor through breathwork
Degrees of Vaginal/Perineal tearing aka perineal lacerations (Mayo Clinic)
Looking after a 3rd or 4th Degree Tear (NHS Trust)
Sponsor links:
Free “Pack for Your Best Birth” Packing List (with free mini-course option)
Birth Matters NYC Childbirth Education Classes (Astoria, Queens)
*Disclosure: Links on this page to products are affiliate links; I will receive a small commission on any products you purchase at no additional cost to you.
Episode Topics:
Endometriosis excision, progesterone levels were low
Natural family planning
Created a dance work about endometriosis with her dance company - Spaces of [Fontana]
Pregnancy scare (thought she had ectopic pregnancy but it was just implantation)
Doing the dance work right after this, incredibly meaningful
Had some nausea but kept dancing
Performed in Kansas during pregnancy, has extreme pain 16-18 weeks - a cyst burst but all ended up being fine
After that, stopped performing
20-week anatomy scan - had a bit of swelling on the brain so had to have more regular scans
Round ligament pain
Pandemic hits as they start birth class
April 1st at 33 weeks, they pack up everything and drive to Houston to move there
Exploring birth locations and care providers in Houston, interviewing with a birthing center
The birthing center assigns you a doula
At 36 weeks she was already 3 cm dilated
Still teaching (virtual) fitness classes
38 weeks she’s 4cm dilated
Gets to 41 weeks and still hasn’t gone into labor -- does all the things to go into labor -- Miles Circuit, pumping, walking on curbs, etc.
PROM (water breaks) as a trickle, contractions don’t start until 36 hrs later
Takes a nap after contractions start
Play Ticket to Ride, eat dinner
Calls the doula, who does some comfort techniques and does counterpressure techniques on her back
Laboring on toilet
Transfer to birthing center when things are super intense
Laboring in water, back to toilet, sitting on ball, on all fours
~10pm she’s 8cm dilated upon arrival
Throws up a ton
Feels urge to push, but midwife asks her to hold off
Lots of flexibility in positions
Pushing in water
Pushed for an hour, falling asleep in between contractions
Cord wrapped around neck
James holds Elliott with placenta attached
10 stitches, 3rd degree tear (she’s small, baby was large)
Early discharge after 6 hrs
Hard recovery, learning how to stand, take shower
James’s reflections
Less than pleasant appointment with pediatrician for circumcision at 6 days
Oversupply of breastmilk
Needing her sisters’ support
Experiencing re-tearing due to the way she was sitting on ground with baby
Wished she started doing more breathwork
Is in pelvic PT and had prolapse, incontinence
Got period back 6 weeks out
Comfort for pain after birth w/ severe tearing: an herbal sitz soak, Stool softeners, hydrocortisone & Neosporin on a tucks pad
Mental healing - giving yourself lots of grace, having support of other moms, prayer, being patient, it’s not forever
Interview Transcript
Lisa: Welcome Evelyn and James. I'm so glad to see you today.
[00:00:07] Evelyn: Thank you for having us. We're excited to be here and see your face after all this time now.
[00:00:13] Lisa: Yeah. Could you please just take a moment to introduce yourselves?
[00:00:17] Evelyn: Yeah. My name is Evelyn Hoelscher and this is my husband, James. We were in New York, the last, like five and a half years. We're both from Texas and the pandemic expedited our moved back to Texas, which we'll definitely go into. But we were lucky enough to take Lisa's course while we were in New York living in Astoria. And then we had our son Elliott May 29th, 2020. So he's 10 months old today or yesterday, so.
[00:00:50] Lisa: Great. And do you want to share what either or both of you do for a profession?
[00:00:56] Evelyn: Yeah, so I'm a wellness and fitness instructor as well as a dancer and choreographer and you know, have the multi hats. I work specifically in yoga, Pilates and have a lot of certifications around prenatal and postnatal work with women.
[00:01:11] So I had my own company, Spaces of Fitness that I have launched recently, but I get to work a lot with clients. I've been training clients for like 12 years. So it's fun to get to put together now.
[00:01:23] Lisa: Yeah. And hopefully after you share your birth story, we'll talk about how people listening, who are expecting a baby or have had a baby, could be really well supported by you. I'm excited about that work that you're doing
[00:01:37] James: I'm James. I'm a software engineer for a solar company. So I've got a more consistent, and just do one thing.
[00:01:47] Evelyn: I had a dance company in New York as well, and he was my like photographer for things and he'll like edit videos and stuff with me. So--
[00:01:54] James: I'm now the photographer.
[00:01:59] Lisa: I would say quite a good photographer based on the things that I've seen -- beautiful photography.
[00:02:06] Evelyn: Yeah, all my website photos are him.
[00:02:07] Lisa: Those are beautiful. Nice work! And I just want to mention that Evelyn and James took my very last partially in-person class. We shifted to virtual in the process of their series that they took with me.
[00:02:22] And we crammed in the hands-on comfort measures with lots of hand sanitization. Yeah, I remember that last one some people opted for virtual and two of you couples opted to be in-person spread apart and yeah, that was wild. I don't, I don't think I'll ever do a hybrid class like that again, it was too hard to split those energies and try to make sure everybody's experience was good, you know, and that people were actually learning something.
[00:02:50] Evelyn: You did great. Compliments to you cause that was like the week the pandemic hit. And so nobody knew what was going on. Nobody was set up for virtual. So you did a great job and like, honestly, it's part of the reason why I'm doing the work I am now. So it was, you did a good job making it work with the hybrid virtual model.
[00:03:07] Lisa: Thank you. That means a lot to hear that.
[00:03:09] So let's start off with talking a little bit about your pregnancy, if you don't mind.
[00:03:13] Evelyn: We kind of had a crazy start to pregnancy. So I, like I mentioned, I was a dancer. And I was performing I had a dance company called Spaces of Fontana, and I had been creating this work. I had endometriosis and in 2018, I did the endometriosis excision surgery. Which like doing that and then some of the other work that we did with our, OB/GYN is like very much how we were able to get pregnant. Actually a big part of it, which I feel like is helpful for a lot of people to hear was my progesterone levels were really low, which was causing a lot more pain throughout.
[00:03:48] And thankfully we had like a really wonderful OB/GYN from the Gianna Center in New York that was able to kind of catch that. We use natural family planning. And so for like the post-peak part of your phase, supplementing with the progesterone to kind of help your natural spike that happens.
[00:04:03] So I like strongly attribute to that's how we were able to get pregnant after like, having endometriosis and sustaining the pregnancy from there. So that's definitely something that was really helpful in the process of getting pregnant. And then I created this whole work around endometriosis and like the power of women and the vulnerability that we kind of go through and what I went through in needing to be vulnerable.
[00:04:28] And in the strength of the other women surrounding me, walking with me in that journey. So I created this whole work called "Soft Spot" and we were premiering it. It was almost exactly one year after surgery. And I was performing in it. And two days before the premiere, it was like the biggest show I've produced in New York, I find out I'm pregnant, but I had some spotting or some bleeding. So I call my doc thinking she would just be like, "No problem." And she was like, "You need to go to the emergency room; you might be having an ectopic pregnancy," which my mom had as her first pregnancy was ectopic. So it was very I knew what it was and what to expect. So James finds out that we're pregnant with me bawling, calling him on the phone at like 3:45 saying, "I might lose this baby," I'm like frantic or what did I say? I said, "I'm going to the hospital."
[00:05:20] James: At the beginning, I thought my mind immediately went to she got hit by a cab. For some reason. I don't know why I went there.
[00:05:32] Evelyn: I get in, I call this Uber, I'm in the back of the Uber like bawling and he's like, the Uber driver was like, "It's going to be okay." And I was like, "I don't know if it is." And so he was very trying to be reassuring to me. So went to the hospital, was able to talk to my mom virtually and stuff.
[00:05:47] Thankfully it wasn't that it was with implantation kind of that happens with a normal bleeding. So thankfully we were okay. But so the next morning after being in hospital, still not knowing all of this, I went to rehearsal and got to perform and one of the beautiful parts for me was during that piece, I did a duet with what I imagined myself a year ago where I was really in the middle of all this trauma and I'm, you know, partnering with this woman as we're dancing. And I'm pregnant. And she was like me a year ago. And so that was like one of the most and getting to dance with him for the first time. And James and my parents are the only ones in the audience that know, but it was just like, that was like one of the most beautiful moments I've ever had in my career was getting to perform that work pregnant right after endometriosis. So that was the start to the pregnancy
[00:06:38] Lisa: Not dramatic at all.
[00:06:40] Evelyn: [That] tends to be my go-to. And then I kept performing and dancing a little bit, just trying to be, you know, work with it. I was very nauseous my first trimester. So a little bit easier on the movement side of things, but I was still performing.
[00:06:56] The last show I did I was about 16 to 18 weeks pregnant. I was in a show called She. And we were performing at a residency in Kansas and we were backstage preparing for the performance and I previously had had a lot of cysts burst from cyclically throughout my cycle. And I was all of a sudden in like extreme pain and I'm 16 to 18 weeks pregnant. And I can't walk. I'm like laying on the back of the floor-- backstage, like on the floor. I'm like, I can't go on right now. And I'm in Kansas. I'm far away from my doctor and away from James, I'm supposed to perform in two hours. Like, I don't know what to do. And so I call my OB/GYN and just like, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do; I'm supposed to perform in two hours.
[00:07:43] And the dancer in me is like, "We have to make this through," the mom in me is like, "I can't do anything." So obviously I'm talking to James through all of this and I texted my like women's group from New York I'm like, "Please pray for me. I don't know what's going to happen." The dancers in the show were incredible.
[00:08:00] And they were just like, "We'll figure this out." Even though I'm supposed to partner and like lift and be lifted and do all these other things. They're like, "You know what? We'll do a solo if you can't go on," but we're just like taking it minute by minute. I'm like, "Okay, well, I'm going to get ready for the show. We'll like, see how it goes." So like up until like maybe 20 minutes before the show, I'm like having a hard time walking and then I start feeling a little bit better and like get through I'm like feeling okay for the entire show. And then during the talk back, I started feeling pain. God gave me like an hour and a half of like, okay. And turns out I like had a cyst burst from prior to being pregnant and just way more scary, which I didn't know could happen when you're pregnant, but apparently it can. So yeah, so that was very scary because I'm pregnant. So we were okay. And she was like, "This won't happen again because you're not, you know, making any more eggs throughout your pregnancy."
[00:08:59] So that was the beginning of my pregnancy. After that, I just made the decision to step away from performing and tried to take it more easy for myself, like listening to my body as I was making my way through it. And then from there pregnancy was fun. I mean, it was challenging in New York having to commute, walking up and downstairs all the time and teaching, I was still teaching fitness classes.
[00:09:22] But we like had a pretty great pregnancy. The 20 week anatomy scan was another, like, we were expecting everything to be totally fine. We didn't do any of the genetic testing because for us, the pregnancy was gonna happen regardless and we didn't need that information. But we found that when you don't do those testing, sometimes they like look even harder on the anatomy scan. And we ended up doing the testing this time because they said that he had a ventriculomegaly, which is like a little bit of swelling in the brain, which they like, it could mean absolutely nothing, or it could be like leading to a lot of these things, but I had to go back every week for four weeks, five weeks, something like that. And then do the scans again to like track and like make sure. So that was a really scary time just cause we didn't know. And we were praying for the health of our baby that like, you know, regardless we want to welcome into our home and we wanted to make it a safe space for him.
[00:10:19] But just that like, is he going to be okay feeling? And then we showed up one day, and they're like, "Okay, pretend like this never happened." And we're like, "Thank you, if I didn't do this crazy thing, we would have never known this." But thankfully everything turned out okay. And we made it through and he was born very healthy. So that was kind of, that was, you know, 20 weeks. So then we're getting into like the third trimester and I had a lot of round ligament pain, but other than that was very healthy. And trying to think of any other like things from that time and then dependent, it was the next big drama for everybody.
[00:11:00] And as most people thought it was gonna be a two week thing and then we're going to go back to life. So I remember, you know, going to my doctor's appointment, I had an OB/GYN appointment on March 12th. And I took the subway there. I had trained a client in the morning and like taught a class the night before.
[00:11:21] So I've been going around, taking the subway. Take a subway to our like Midtown Manhattan, OB/GYN which is like where we're supposed to be delivering, it was in the hospital. And she was like, "You're still taking public transit. You're still teaching in person. You need to stop everything. And she was like, you have asthma, you're pregnant. You're like high risk in this situation, which we didn't even know anything about. Nobody knew anything about the coronavirus at this time. So that was the last time I saw New York which is kind of crazy. So I took it a cab home to Astoria. And that weekend I think we did, or the following weekend is when we did, we started your course, which we had already signed up for.
[00:12:02] And we had everything set up in our, you know, 500 square foot apartment to deliver in New York and to bring our baby home there and like had everything set up. And then after two weeks of, you know, like working full-time from home and I'm teaching classes virtually in our living room, we're figuring it out.
[00:12:24] Monday, actually today is like the anniversary. So Monday the 30th, we at 5:00 PM, we're like, maybe this isn't safe. We had talked to our neighbors who worked in hospitals. And they were like, this, there's going to be a spike again in May; this is not over. And you know, this is my triage sensor being set up down the street.
[00:12:44] We had friends get rejected by the EMS with like COVID and told them they'd be better off at home. Like it was bad scenario. States are shutting down and we're in lockdown. They're closing down borders and we're like, we need to get out of here. So we've made that decision at 5:00 PM. We don't have a vehicle because we live in New York.
[00:13:05] James went online and rented a van and packed up everything that we could and drove to Texas to Houston, to stay with my family.
[00:13:16] Lisa: It's about a 30 hour drive, right?
[00:13:20] Evelyn: Not pregnant. So I'm 33 weeks pregnant at this point, which his mom is a nurse. And obviously our doctors was like, please stop as often as possible.
[00:13:31] So, you know, prevent blood clots and everything. So it was about 34 hours driving across three days. We did stay two nights. Our family was incredible. People, you know, my cousin's husband sent us points, so we didn't have to pay for hotel along the way. And like we stopped to recharge. We were the crazy people in the parking lot, James is doing like back stretches on me because everything is shut down in the whole country.
[00:13:56] And we were like in a race to get to Texas because the Louisiana border had just closed. And so we weren't even sure if like we just needed to get inside the border of Texas was the goal. So we like needed to sound all the time, but we're rushing to get to Texas.
[00:14:11] Lisa: I think a movie needs to be made of this whole situation.
[00:14:19] Evelyn: It was very stressful. And we thought we were coming back in July. So we were like, okay, we'll have the baby. We call our OB/GYN on the way of saying, "Hi, we don't know who's going to be deliver(ing) us, but you are not anymore." And she was like, "Good decision." So it was just like an affirmation in our decision because though it felt ridiculous to just leave that fast that pregnant, not knowing who was going to.
[00:14:39] So driving down, we are doing lots of phone calls to try to figure out what we're going to do. Thankfully, I have a lot of family in Texas and Houston. My brother has five children. My sister has three. And so my brothers, the first three were born in a hospital and the second two were born in a birthing center.
[00:15:00] So we called first I formerly lived in this area, so I called my old OB/GYN. She was basically like, "You will be treated like you have coronavirus, regardless of what happens, because you're coming from New York," even though I was, you know, six weeks or whatever away from my due date.
[00:15:16] And it was just feeling like James might not get to be there. You might not get to see your baby. Like, it felt very like sterile and scary and not at all comforting. And it was like, okay, that doesn't feel the right way. So we call the birthing center that my two nephews were born at.
[00:15:33] And it was incredible and amazing. They were very welcoming to us. And, you know, we obviously quarantined for two weeks fully with my parents when we were there. And I didn't go into a facility at all for, you know, six months or something crazy. But the birthing center experience and I, and this is kind of going back to your course that and, and thankfully like, you know, like we have a lot of nieces and nephews, so we had seen family go through things and then doing your course, we felt prepared to totally change regardless of this crazy stressful circumstance, to be able to make those transitions, but feel comfort and confident in us being able to bring this baby into the world was the best gift that we could have had.
[00:16:17] So Bay Area Birthing Center is where we ended up and the midwives there are amazing. For any first-time moms, they require you to have a doula. So they assign you a doula, which is great, and she was really awesome. I was also, you know, by the time we actually met the midwives, I was 36 weeks pregnant cause I had to quarantine for two weeks.
[00:16:37] And at that appointment, I'm 36 weeks pregnant, I find out I'm 3 cm dilated. And my siblings have all had their kids early. So I think that baby is going to come any day now. And I'm still teaching. The other thing is I'm teaching six classes a week and James is a rock star. I can't do them anymore.
[00:16:57] Cause now we're virtual. So I have to do all of the classes, but I'm 36 weeks pregnant. So James is doing six classes a week for me and I'm teaching him. So he got really in shape right before Elliott was born. So that was interesting. So I'm basically in labor, kind of, 3 centimeters dilated, I'm having like few contractions here and there. But I like go to bed every night thinking it's going to happen when you wake up and I'm like, didn't work. So, we go back at 38 weeks and I'm 4cm dilated. And so it's kind of, we're still like, I feel like during this time we were constantly in this, my mom called it the pregnant pause cause we're living with my parents which was a weird blessing in disguise because with the pandemic
[00:17:41] They wouldn't have been able to be there. So it was nice to like have such support. And my mom was actually able to be in the room when Elliott was born and James was. So that was like, they were the midwives for so rigorous. Just like, they tested us and we wore masks in the appointments leading up to it.
[00:18:00] But they were like, anybody that in your household, you can have two people in the room with you. And my mom, she was able to be there. So
[00:18:08] Lisa: That's so wonderful.
[00:18:10] Evelyn: So that was a big gift and I know a rare gift during a pandemic, so I feel very blessed about that. So we get to 40 weeks, his due date comes, his due date goes dilated for like five weeks.
[00:18:27] Lisa: Can I just point out real quick for listeners who are new to this that. It is common, normal to be up to usually no more than like up to three centimeters dilated up to like two weeks before you go into labor, but huge range of normal. You know, I have had just a handful less than a handful of clients who have walked around four centimeters, two, I can think of even five centimeters for a little bit before they actually were having regular contractions. So such a, such a big range of normal.
[00:19:03] Evelyn: And you don't know that necessarily, that you're going to have these like. You're going to be dilated for so long. So that was fascinating, but yeah.
[00:19:14] Lisa: I'm sorry. Can I ask just one other question? It sounded like this birthing center is a free, was a freestanding birth center, as opposed to one that's like attached to or in a hospital. Is that right?
[00:19:22] Evelyn: Correct. Yeah, it's a freestanding birth center, but they have a partnership with a hospital that's down the street. So that was James's big thing when we decided to go with midwives, I have kind of a crazy health history. So like for him, the comfort of us, you know, they do have a doctor that they're connected with over there in case anything happened. I was like so determined to be healthy and have a natural birth. Cause I really like, I already wanted all of that. But then with the pandemic, I was like, I don't want to go into a hospital with that going on. So it was extra motivation to be distanced, which is, was the challenge. I mean, I have a lot of family in Houston and so it was really hard to be so close all of a sudden but be still having this like barrier between us. And, you know, we, it was a lot of fear, a lot of unknown.
[00:20:15] Do we know what you needed. So that was, I know, like a lot of women right now with being pregnant or couples with being pregnant, it's a challenge is figuring out that balance, you like want and need the support and you need your family, and you need your community, but you can't have them in the same way.
[00:20:33] So like, how do you find how do you still kind of feel supported in that? So it was definitely a big learning and walk to get through that time. But thankfully my family's incredible and they did so much to, to like-- we were moving down half the things we thought we would. So my sister gave us the baby swing and gave us all of her maternity clothes, which was great because all of a sudden it was summer.
[00:20:57] Cause we were living in Texas and not New York. And so all of those, like the community of being able to support that was helpful even though. Yeah, so we get to 41 weeks. So I'm a week past his due date and I'm sitting and I was pumping actually, cause I was now like, basically on a clock.
[00:21:20] She's like, okay, if you get through the midwives, they go to 42 weeks. I know most hospitals, I go to 41. But they gave me like the two weeks later, but once I hit my due date, she was like, okay, here's your, like, it was like a Miles Circuit I needed to do. I needed to pump three times a day. I was like, I feel like I, I don't even have time to work because I'm constantly doing something, trying to go into labor basically.
[00:21:44] So she tells me to pump. And we tried all the things walking on curves. We were the talk of my parents' neighborhood because I'm the pregnant waddling woman walking down the street. But pumping is actually what helped me to initiate into labor. Well, it broke my water and I was like, "I think this is it."
[00:22:03] And so we go see the midwives and it was like a trickle. So I was like, "I don't know if this is it." So we went to the midwives and sure enough my water had broken. So now like a real clock has started, they thankfully give 48 hours instead of 24 hours, like the hospital, which is great because if it was 24 hours, I would have been induced.
[00:22:25] Because I went all the way to 36 hours before I went into labor. So I went to bed the next day, doing everything I can to get the baby out. Yeah. All of the things. And then we go see the doctor. We go see the midwives again, they do the ultrasound and they give me this like tea that's supposed to like help.
[00:22:44] And it should get contractions going and we're driving home and we take the most bumpy route possible and laughing. And it's kind of like doing everything we can. Get home and I get to lay down and take a nap. And like a lot of water comes out. So I'm like, "Okay, there's things happening," in my contractions start increasing a little bit.
[00:23:04] But I was able to take a nap. So, because I was like, okay, it's late afternoon, this might be a long night. So I take a nap. And when I wake up, the contractions are starting to come a little bit more regular, but very manageable, like, I'm talking to them. And so we go play a game that was like our thing. We played Ticket to Ride a lot with my parents while we're eating. We, you know, eat dinner, my dad cooks for us. And then finally we're like, okay, maybe we should tell the doula to come over. Like I need to get this baby out. So we asked her to come over it and I'm like, she gets there and I'm like, "Okay, let's go for a walk." Like I'm motivated to get this baby out.
[00:23:40] So I think she probably thought, "Okay, we're not having this baby tonight." Cause I was just like, we're going for outside and going for walks and walking on curbs trying to get things going. When we get back to my parents' house, we go into like their bedroom and like bathroom area cause it's downstairs.
[00:23:56] And while we're there, she was really involved and then when we got to the birthing center, she actually leaves and it's cause both midwives stay with us. So she does the rebozo, which helped initiate contractions. And then she did a lot, which was super helpful, was pressing on my spine because I was having a lot of pain in my back.
[00:24:13] And so we get in the bed, I'm lying on my side and she like pressed on my back a lot and then I have to go to the restroom. And so we make it to the bathroom and I go by myself for the first time. And then I come back and I have to go again. And I'm like, "James, I need you to be with me," because contractions are getting harder and more painful and I'm like, I can't, I can't get off the toilet.
[00:24:38] Like I can't walk. I need to need you there. And I'm a physical touch person. So I was like, "I'm sorry, you're not leaving my side now." So at this point James, doesn't think we're going to make it to the birthing center.
[00:24:52] James: Well, I'm trying to stay calm so that she stays calm, but looking at the doula saying, "Uh, we should go as soon as possible." So didn't want to have him in the car.
[00:25:10] Evelyn: Finally get off the toilet and I have like really intense contractions. I'm having a hard time getting to the car "I kept saying, you know, like, you know, through the like, "I can't" mantra. We had talked about that and I was like, "I can't," but I was, I was saying, "I can't stay standing," but she was like, "No, you can!"
[00:25:27] And I was like, "No, I need to not be standing." So get the floor for a second where I can be like working through contractions. We finally make it to the car. And then now I don't think bumps are funny anymore. And that was the hardest part was the car ride was terrible. Thankfully my mom drove. James was in the back with me and I was laying on my side with the doula on the phone and we're like, you just hold my hand, talking me through contractions.
[00:25:53] As we get to the birthing center, I'm eight centimeters dilated when we get there--
[00:26:01] James: At this point, we were like, "Oh, we're going to get there. And he's just going to slide out." Cause we're already at eight cm. No big deal.
[00:26:09] Lisa: I just wanted to ask, does the birthing center have a rule-- is there a too early in terms of how dilated you are?
[00:26:18] Evelyn: Yes.
[00:26:19] Lisa: I'm sure eight is plenty advanced...
[00:26:22] Evelyn: I don't actually remember what they say, but basically if you got there and you weren't far enough along, they would tell you to go walk laps or something and then come back.
[00:26:31] Lisa: Often it's like around like five or six centimeters or so, because birthing centers in general, most of them are fairly small, so they don't have a lot of rooms. And so that's a common reason that they might say you can't be admitted until you're progressed to a certain extent.
[00:26:46] Evelyn: I was very thankful that one, I was very glad you had a doula for how far into like a pretty intense labor we did at the home. And I was also very glad we were able to labor at home for a long time, but the birthing center was amazing and they drew a bath as soon as we got there. So I labored in the water for a while after they like checked me and everything. And then went back to the toilet and then went to a birthing ball with like leaning on the bed and they pressed on me. James was like, I don't think James was not touching me at any point. I like needed, I needed him there. My mom was there to make sure James was drinking water. I actually got this water bottle because of you, because of the straw,
[00:27:28] Lisa: Oooh, is that the Hydro Flask I see?
[00:27:31] Evelyn: Hydro Flask with a straw was really helpful because I would get to a point where I would just kinda like, squeeze James's hand, and then he would bring the water to me. Cause we got to the birthing center at 10:00 PM is when I was eight centimeters dilated on the 28th and then we get in bed and I'm nauseous at this point.
[00:27:48] And I throw up so much like fill these huge silver bowls like three of them, I think. So I'm empty at this point. And that's when transition hit, it was when I got sick. So labored in bed for a while, labored on all fours for a while and then I had that urge to push and she kept making me wait. And she actually, had me go sit on the toilet. But I was like, "I need to push she's gonna fall in." And she was like, she's like, "No, this is like progress." They were really great at encouraging different positions, but also being okay at one point they were like, "Let's sit on here and asked if I need to just lie down.
[00:28:24] So they were open to me kind of shifting into different positions, but also like would help me be in a position long enough to gain progress. So that was really helpful to kind of have that communication. And they were there the whole time in the room with us and they had, you know, nice music playing.
[00:28:40] So the playlist I played, I had picked out and the like essential oils, none of those got used because they had them. So that was great.
[00:28:49] Lisa: And did they tell you why they were saying hold off on pushing?
[00:28:52] Evelyn: I couldn't tell you, do you remember?
[00:28:55] Lisa: My guess would be that either you weren't fully dilated or you weren't fully effaced, maybe one of those things or both possibly.
[00:29:04] Evelyn: Yeah. I imagine it was effaced. Cause I don't know that I was fully effaced until the end.
[00:29:12] Lisa: Yeah. They might often say like there's a little lip of the cervix left.
[00:29:17] Evelyn: Yeah. So that seems correct. And then finally they were okay with me getting into, or they were like, okay, you can push it out. So we drew the bath again.
[00:29:26] We were like, not totally, we had not planned on a water birth. But we were open to it. Which I am so glad and like would love all my births to potentially be like that if possible. Cause it was really nice to be in the water for the pushing. And I was so exhausted at this point like when we were in the bath pushing, I'm still holding on to James with one hand and one of the really helpful tips you know, we always have to like the low tones and sending it out, but also even just cause, you know, at some point you just like spontaneously scream. And so she was like sending that energy into like using that meditation and that practice of being able to send the breath down. And so I was there. I don't think I opened my eyes like the whole time I was at the birthing center. I was very internal focused.
[00:30:11] But using that like breath of in and down was really helpful. And we ended up with a mantra of "open" not planned that just kind of like what came out through a lot of it for all the contractions. And then when I was pushing, I pushed for an hour. And I fell asleep in between each contraction like those like mini nap things.
[00:30:32] And after I had gotten sick, I didn't want water anymore, but my mom was a hero and they don't have the one thing they don't have at the writing center is ice chips. So my mom got normal ice and like banged it outside until it made crushed ice. And then she would just like, give me crushed ice. So she'd feed me crushed ice in between contractions and took like a cool washcloth. She said, she felt like she was nurturing a pro wrestler or something in between contractions.
[00:31:02] Lisa: That's a great image.
[00:31:04] Evelyn: She was saying like, I was like arm wrestling him every time. So. Yeah, so in between, that. And then finally he was crowning. His head had come out a little bit, but they made me stop pushing because the umbilical cord was wrapped around the head.
[00:31:17] That was like a fear of mine because I had, you know, had heard stories. But they were so calm about it. It was just like, "okay, we're going to stop here," and just gently unwrapped it. And it was fine and kept pushing and--
[00:31:28] James: Well, you didn't even know that it was wrapped around until afterwards. I heard her say it, but she was busy doing something else.
[00:31:35] Evelyn: Yeah. I was focused. Yes. It turns out that's what happened. But they were very calm about it and you know, it was totally fine. Baby came into the water and they put him on me which was such a beautiful moment. Straight from the water and I got to hold him, they waited-- they birthed the placenta, which I like had a little bit of contractions, but you know, just kinda like comes out. But the cool thing was the birthing center is they keep the placenta attached until it fully drains. And so they just like wrap it up, put it in a little bag and a towel.
[00:32:08] And then once I birthed the placenta, they gave Elliott to James. So he got to hold him right away, you know, with the placenta bag. So he's holding Elliott and then the midwives clean me up and get me out of the water. And they had this like huge king size bed in the room with us. And so we all get in bed and fall asleep because he's born at 5:38 in the morning and he's nine pounds and 0.5 ounces and 22 inches long.
[00:32:34] So he was a very big baby. And I'm a little person, so I did have 10 stitches afterwards.
[00:32:40] Lisa: Does it tell you what degree tear it was?
[00:32:43] Evelyn: Yes. I think it was a third-degree tear.
[00:32:47] Lisa: That's a more severe one.
[00:32:51] Evelyn: Yeah, somewhere in there -- second or third. So yeah, we rested for a while. We tried breastfeeding. Thankfully, there was nobody else at the birthing center while we were there. So James actually at one point goes into another room, takes like a five-hour nap while, you know, they're coming in and out, checking on me, stitching me up and breastfeeding and things like that.
[00:33:10] So he finally gets some rest before going home. Cause it's the birthing center you have to leave after six hours. We stayed a little bit longer. Cause it was a Friday, they're normally closed on Fridays, so they didn't have anybody coming in (the midwives) and they wanted to monitor his breathing.
[00:33:24] He like had some like gunk in his throat, a little or his lungs or something. So they said it was because he came out. He had such a big head that his lungs didn't get compressed enough to be able to get all that stuff out. And he still has like a 99th percentile head so he's very smart.
[00:33:43] Lisa: Nice big brain.
[00:33:46] Evelyn: Yeah. So that was kind of the reason for that. Yeah. So we ended up staying I think probably twelve hours there before we left. And we went home and thankfully we're living with my parents and they set up a little nursery for us upstairs. I don't think I left upstairs for a week.
[00:34:03] I have a hard recovery. My body tends to go on the dramatic end of things. But, I mean with the stitches and had like the pushing and the pressure on my bottom and all of that was, it was hard to sit up and feed him. So I was feeding him lying down and it was, you know, learning how to stand and like take a shower again, all of those things that we don't think about became really challenging.
[00:34:25] So James was a rockstar and thankfully for New York paid family leave, which you don't get in Texas, unfortunately, he was able to take two weeks off to be with me and basically be my nurse so that I could feed Elliott and take care of him. And I think he changed all the diapers in the first two weeks.
[00:34:43] Lisa: Yay, James.
[00:34:47] James, do you have anything you'd like to reflect on? Particularly, I was really interested in hearing about the whole placenta being still attached to while you're holding Elliot. Were you cool with that?
[00:35:04] James: Surprisingly, the whole experience was just so much that we were really exhausted and we were so relieved that he was here healthy because the whole pregnancy and getting ready for everything, was really stressful.
[00:35:17] So it was kind of like a breath of fresh air to have him in our arms and to be healthy. But after all that had happened, it really wasn't a big deal. Like we didn't even think twice about having the bag. So you didn't see it. It was like wrapped in the towel and it was warm, which is nice. Cause you're supposed to keep the baby warm.
[00:35:36] So it was kind of natural, a little like heating blanket. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I knew it was there, but.
[00:35:44] Lisa: Yeah. The towel is a very good idea, rather than a clear sack. Yeah.
[00:35:50] James: Yeah. So we, we wanted the cord to be attached until all the nutrients were able to go into Elliott. So I don't know.
[00:36:00] We're excited about that being an option. So it's just part of the process
[00:36:06] Lisa: Nice. And just any other reflections on your role throughout labor? Any observations about the, you know, different physical ways you were supporting her or just like, what were you feeling emotionally? Anything?
[00:36:19] James: Well I know that Evelyn is physical touch, that's how, like she gets her affirmation and, I don't know, she's a strong determined woman. So I was just there to support her through the whole thing. And like she said, I don't think I stopped touching her the whole time. I had her hands in my hands or was pushing on her back. Or was it any kind of supporting position that she needed throughout the process, which the midwives are really good about and your class was really good about informing me on ways that I could help because you get in there and you're like, "What are the ways?" So having the knowledge and having rehearsed it was helpful.
[00:36:58] And also I will comment on the final pushing stage when she was really exhausted. She's still a, you know, a fitness instructor and I was trying to support her with my hand as she was pushing, she was using all of her strength against me to try to arm wrestle me, but she's very strong. So I was really working hard to, to keep her supported and make sure she was standing in place in the bathtub.
[00:37:24] Lisa: Yeah. I'm sure, like you were saying, you know, she's strong because that's her profession. But I would guess that you didn't realize how strong she was until those moments. And what was it like, James, to see her give birth?
[00:37:44] James: Well, so it was a water birth and then Elliott immediately came out and went on her chest and he was very purple, which I dunno, I guess we had the video to watch and things like that, but I don't know, maybe I wasn't paying that much attention. But he was so purple. I was a little bit concerned that he was not getting the oxygen or if maybe we should take action on it. And the midwives are very calm, like, "All right, we're done." Not really. They were actually like cleaning up and stuff, but I was like, maybe we should pay attention to this until I asked them. And they're like, "No, no, he's okay. He's supposed to do that." And like, he started getting color, I guess, losing the purple color. But they were trying to make a joke during the whole thing. Like, are you sure he's a boy?
[00:38:33] Evelyn: Oh yeah. That was super surprising. And I was like, "What do you mean?!"
[00:38:37] James: Like, well, they told us. So we like saw him on the ultrasound, and they're like, "Are you sure?"
[00:38:40] And we're like, "I don't understand what you're saying right now." We just trying to make a joke that we used to like, check and make sure. I don't know, we don't have the capacity.
[00:38:49] Evelyn: We don't joke right now.
[00:38:52] Lisa: Not in that headspace, thank you. That's funny. And I would imagine you will never see Evelyn the same. Isn't it amazing to see what her body is capable of?
[00:39:05] James: Definitely. Yeah. He was a big baby. Still is a big baby. Was very impressive. She was very strong through the whole thing; I was proud of her.
[00:39:16] Evelyn: It was definitely like leaving there though. It was amazing. You like felt a different connection with each other. I mean, you just went through a crazy, like bringing life into this world, lots of very personal intimate experience. So definitely like changed to like deepen our relationship too, which is really cool.
[00:39:37] Lisa: And I've heard you mention, what I know of you is that your faith is very important to you. Are there any reflections on that aspect or do you want to share if you're comfortable sharing what your faith background is? And just any ways that that has played into your choices or this journey into parenthood?
[00:39:54] Evelyn: Yeah, definitely. So we're Catholic and that is very much a part of who we are as a couple. But also informing our decisions within even to like our fertility tracking, you know, we do all natural family planning and haven't ever used contraceptives or anything. Doing that natural family planning is how we figured out how I had endometriosis.
[00:40:14] It's how we figured out when I needed the credit. Like all of those things have kind of influenced it. And then we knew that this baby was regardless of any sort of mental or medical things that were going to happen throughout the pregnancy he was ours and we wanted to meet him. And that was a big part of it too.
[00:40:31] And then we felt very connected with the Holy family during our crazy journey of leaving New York. I just kept thinking like we're fleeing right before having a baby. And I was like, I'm glad I'm not doing this on a donkey, but definitely like feeling the Holy family presence and like guiding us and very much feeling like St. Joseph watching over to James and helping, like, he was definitely a force and like a guide for us of like, "We need to leave and we're okay. Like, we're going to be okay and we're going to get through this."
[00:41:03] And just like, and he is not a quick decision changing like making those like big life transition changes. Those, like are not fast things that happen. But just being able to move that quickly, I was so, so thankful and so proud of him for being that force and like guiding us through that because even though it was very stressful, I'm very glad with the birth that we ended up with and the like beautiful experience of having him in a birthing center, everything we were going to fight for in a hospital was the natural protocol in the birthing center.
[00:41:34] So now I want to have all my babies in a birthing center.
[00:41:39] Lisa: And we're recording this three days before Easter. I would imagine that as new parents. And with your faith, that Christmas was different. There were different new reflections, perhaps as well as this Easter. That's about to, we're about to celebrate.
[00:41:53] Evelyn: Sure. Yeah, definitely, I felt very connected. Like St. Joseph was a great presence as we were like fleeing New York, and Mary was very present and that was before pandemic. I was just being able to be more connected with her than I had ever had before with like being able to be a mom every time we were in mass and the holy eucharist, like this is my body given up for you. I just like would think about Elliott and well, we didn't even know his name at the time. But just thinking of like giving your body up for this child and getting to talk with him. And he loves church; my stomach-- he would move around every time we were singing. He still dances. Like we'll be praying or singing or do something. And he wiggles his little body and dances.
[00:42:39] James: It was during mass that we felt him move.
[00:42:43] Evelyn: It was actually on Christmas mass. It was the first time I felt him kick -- it was during Christmas mass when we were singing.
[00:42:50] Lisa: Aw, that's really cool. I know James, we're about to lose you. You, you got to get back to work, but is there anything else that you wanted to share that you haven't gotten to share yet?
[00:43:00] James: No. I just thank you for letting us be here and tell our story. I will say having the support that we did through this whole thing was very helpful, encouraging and I know that taking your class was huge for us because we've talked to many people, who've taken other birthing class and they just, they don't prepare you in the same way. Because the content isn't relevant or they don't encourage you the same way. They don't tell you about the wide range of variation that different pregnancies can have.
[00:43:30] Like, that was a common thing that you say often, but it's helpful because you can see like what, you know, the way that your approach is or the way that, that things are progressing for you. And you can know that it's not necessarily lining up with the storyline that you've been told that there's variation in that and ways that you can support the way that you know, your process is moving.
[00:43:53] So we definitely thank you for that. And thank all the people who've supported us because being prepared is, helps you get through the variations.
[00:44:02] Evelyn: And The Birth Partner book, which you recommended James also had. We've given it to some friends since then. I think that's part of the reason why I kind of shifted and doing some of the work that I'm doing now is recognizing how much lack of education that there is.
[00:44:20] And we were lucky, like we already had a good foundation of understanding, you know, pregnancy and, you know, I had done several prenatal trainings before. Like I had had some of that background. We have a lot of nieces and nephews, but the course that you had that was so focused on, like, what you're gonna experience during labor and then, and then what our rights are. what we have the ability to advocate for, tips on how to do that. And then listening to some friends that are-- we had like, no joke, I think 11 people in our life have babies in this past year. Which is another, like, there's just I'm very surrounded by little children. Just listening to some of the things that they say in some of the courses it's just not uplifting.
[00:45:01] And that was one of the themes was like, you can do this and you're strong enough for this. Your body's made to do this. And that was like not a theme. So it feels like unsupportive or like things to not feel like they're capable. And it's almost like fear-inducing the pain that you're going to go through and all of that.
[00:45:21] But I think one of the things that you had said was that they interviewed a lot of women that had gone through it. They hadn't said that pain. They wouldn't describe their experience as painful, but it was a lot of work. And I definitely relate to that. Yeah, I mean things are happening, but I wouldn't describe it as painful.
[00:45:39] It was just like, it was a lot of work. I've never been more proud of accomplishing something than after like giving birth to a nine-pound baby naturally,
[00:45:49] Lisa: Great. Well you want to talk a little bit about postpartum?
[00:45:57] James: I might duck out now.
[00:45:59] Lisa: Yeah. Yeah. Thanks so much, James.
[00:46:01] James: Thank you for having me.
[00:46:03] Lisa: It's great to see you; take care.
[00:46:06] James: Nice to see you again.
[00:46:08] Evelyn: Yeah. So postpartum. Like I mentioned, I had a laceration, so I did tear and had 10 stitches to recover from. So I just, it was really painful to sit for a while. And also commenting on the fact that we, you know, we took him to get circumcised when he was six days old. It was like the longest we were allowed to wait with the pediatrician that we were doing circumcision with. And pediatrician, at least this one was not, his understanding of postpartum mothers was not there. The facility was not like, well, like understanding that, like I just went through a crazy trauma.
[00:46:46] It was really hot in there. There was no water. The seat was like really hard. And there's only one chair. He was literally a metal chair and I was just starting to sit up again.
[00:47:01] Lisa: Can I have a pillow, please?!
[00:47:03] Evelyn: I know. Like the timing and everything. Like he didn't offer to sit. he didn't ask anything. Like, it was just not the...he was so good with Elliot, but just like not understanding of that.
[00:47:15] So that was fun. And I had an overproduction of milk at the beginning where I was just spraying everywhere.
[00:47:25] Lisa: That's more common than we anticipate a lot of the time.
[00:47:28] Evelyn: Yeah. And like, you don't know, like the engorgement thing only lasts a few days. You don't know, like, there's just a lot of like, is this going to be forever? And then while we were at the pediatrician's office, as James goes to pay, they just gave me Elliott after he got circumcised. So I'm supposed to feed him cause he hadn't eaten prior to the surgery. I'm feeding. I can't sit down. It's too painful. So I'm standing. So I'm standing, I've never fed him standing up.
[00:47:55] So I'm feeding him standing up. But my milk is just spraying all over the place. Like it's literally soaking everywhere. I'm trying to feed Elliott. He's six days old, so breastfeeding, we're still figuring it out. And the person that puts his diaper on doesn't put it on really well. And he has a white swaddle blanket around him that says like "our lady La Leche" on it. And he just like explosive poops all over it. And it's, you know, yellow and I'm spraying milk everywhere. And I don't know how to breastfeed and I'm hot. I don't have water. And James comes back and I'm just crying and James is like, "Okay, what happened? I was gone for five minutes." But so I--
[00:48:37] Lisa: Welcome to postpartum.
[00:48:42] Evelyn: You know, the emotions that come with when your milk comes in and all that... I was thankful for my sister and my sister-in-law cause we were still like, you know, not sure exactly. No, there was no, there's still no right answer on what to do with, who can see your child during the pandemic that when you have postpartum, like there's no right answer for it.
[00:49:02] And we didn't know what was the right answer. And everybody you talked to was like, "Oh, the decision is yours." I'm like, "Well, I don't know what to do with it." But I was needing my sisters and so they came over. It was like two days after my milk came in or something like that. Cause I was still an emotional mess. And James was really good at just holding my hand and letting me cry
[00:49:23] Lisa: Sometimes that's just what we need, right?
[00:49:26] Evelyn: Tell me it's okay, that I'm a good mom.
[00:49:29] Lisa: We need to hear that, yeah.
[00:49:32] Evelyn: But being able to have them, they came over and we did, like, they sat across the room just to like have that support of other moms was so needed and necessary.
[00:49:41] I'm so very thankful for that and that process with it. But yeah, so healing wise, it just took a lot of time, actually I ended up retearing. I am a naturally mobile person. I'm a dancer, fitness trainer, yogi. So I was thought I was doing a good job. I wasn't working out or doing any movement that I normally do, but I was sitting on the floor with him and my legs were, you know, cross-legged or just sitting more comfortably for me was actually what initiated more tearing.
[00:50:10] So that was really hard. Lots of Hydrocortisone to kind of help heal that. And for that process, it just took a lot longer. So they didn't actually clear me to move for eight weeks. And what I would have done differently is, and what I am doing with my postpartum moms now, because, you know, they say can't do anything. And then I retort cause I was just sitting in the wrong position, but there is so much like breathing that you can do that would have helped. Like I had postpartum anxiety, like that could have helped with a lot of the -- And like I teach breathwork but just wasn't doing it. Cause I didn't even know, like, could I do any sort of engagement with the diaphragm, you know, is attached to the pelvic floor and he did a lot of healing too.
[00:50:51] And so there's a lot of just like diaphragmatic breathing and some like simple kegel work and things like that that you can do before you get cleared so that when you are cleared, you have kind of some of the foundational work starting to be set in place. And then when I was finally cleared to move, I did start, you know, moving in [?] felt good. You still have relaxin in your muscles so doing a little bit more than I probably should have. And so now I'm 10 months postpartum and I'm in pelvic floor PT because I had prolapse. And it was this common misconception of like I was having a lot of like heaviness.
[00:51:24] So just like, especially when I was on my period which I got six weeks after Elliott was born. So the like, while you're fully breastfeeding, you can still get your period. Yeah, so I'm having a lot of heaviness and a lot of like pain, just kind of standing and you know, having incontinence and all of these things.
[00:51:40] And I've been studying the pelvic floor since I was 18 being a Pilates, and a yoga instructor and still having a lot of these issues. So I am doing pelvic floor PT currently, and it is helping so, so much. And I recommend so many women, especially if you tear, to go to a pelvic PT following. That was part of the reason why I have a lot of the pain. But it's this misconception of with Pilates, you know, we're always talking about engaging -- contracting, contracting, contracting the pelvic but being the dancer, doing all of that not releasing it ever, and that was what's causing a lot of pain was it was just staying, it's like staying in a bicep curl and then you can't ever get like a full contraction.
[00:52:22] So doing a lot of releasing the pelvic floor work right now. So that's a lot of the work I do now with like, during pregnancy is working in that full range of contraction and also same with kind of giving that, like working on the open side of it. You need that.
[00:52:41] Lisa: Yes. Yeah. So many people who come to this work that you're doing have a similar experience where some of the things that they knew as a professional Pilates instructor or dancer, or, you know, similar disciplines sometimes I don't know if backfires is the right word, but yeah, there's just such a lack of education, like you're saying in this specific journey in life and what it requires and what kind of exercise, you know, are kegels or reverse kegels the right thing, and exactly what you're saying. I just want to echo what Evelyn is saying about the need for our muscles to be able to both contract and relax is so important. Everybody thinks, oh, a tight pelvic floor. Well, that sounds awesome, 'cause it sounds strong, right? But in the act of giving birth, those muscles need to do the exact opposite. They need to lengthen and bulge and relax, extend. And so that resilience is everything.
[00:53:37] Evelyn: I mean, too much of anything is not good. So you don't want to only be relaxing, you don't want to only be strengthening it.
[00:53:45] So I think like finding that balance and everybody is different based on kind of what they do all the time. So like what you do. Like how you walk, how you sit, how you stand and what you do for exercise, for fun. Like all of those things influence your, how you sit, how you exist and how your pelvic floor is.
[00:54:03] So you definitely like every person and like how you approach that would it be a little bit different, but I think the biggest overarching is the balance of both. You can't just contract all the time. So it's changing. I mean, I'm doing that right now. I'm doing a pelvic floor certification with it's a pregnancy and postpartum corrective exercise specifically focused on the pelvic floor through Dr. Duvall. And it is incredible. So any fitness instructors out there highly recommend it if you're working with moms. But a lot of that is learning through the breath work. And it's, it's changing the way, not only how I work with my moms, but you know, I'm working with, you know, 55, 65 year old men and women also.
[00:54:40] But they're still dealing with them. It changes, how you stand. How's like if you're having glute pain or like you have SI pain, all of that contributes to your pelvic floor. So pelvic floor health is not talked about, and it is, I think it's super fascinating, but it's also really amazing cause it does like the kinetic chain of your whole body; it's all connected. So.
[00:55:01] Lisa: Absolutely. A couple of things I wanted to ask you. How soon after birth did you seek out pelvic floor therapy?
[00:55:08] Evelyn: So I've actually been told I needed pelvic floor therapy. Since prior, since right after endometriosis surgery, I didn't do it while I was in New York. I couldn't find somebody on my insurance.
[00:55:19] And then once we moved here, we're also in a pandemic and so I was pretty wary about going anywhere, seeing anybody for a while.
[00:55:28] Lisa: Texas is completely open!
[00:55:31] Evelyn: That's another conversation.
[00:55:33] Lisa: I know. I was very displeased when I got that memo because all of our family's in Texas as well.
[00:55:39] Evelyn: I am thankful at least the places that we go, which is not much, but the places that we go, everybody has still been wearing masks and being distant. All of the, like doctor's offices, all of the like school, but the grocery store, everybody still requires masks in establishments.
[00:55:54] So at least like the majority, I mean, we're also like in Austin so we're in a more populated area. So people tend to be mostly good about it, which I was very nervous too, but I'm thankful for that.
[00:56:07] Lisa: That's right, because you purchased a home in Austin after living with your family.
[00:56:11] Evelyn: Yeah. So we actually, after three months in Houston, somebody in like a close family friend that all of my family had been around had gotten coronavirus.
[00:56:22] So we, and you know, my family, they needed to quarantine with each other. There's seven children that need, they, they couldn't see anybody but themselves, but we were living with my parents and taking one of their places to go when you have five or six, like this, was a lot. So we made the decision to leave and go stay with my husband's family in Abilene, which was another like, think decision I'm so thankful for, cause they live out in the country, they have a hot tub, they live on land. There's nobody around. There's no street lights. So beautiful stars at night. So it was like a place for me to recover. Cause that was when I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and postpartum depression and things like that.
[00:57:03] And so it was a really good space for me to kind of just be, I was off work for a while. And so it was cause I did have maternity leave. I also worked for another company in New York doing, managing their people and teaching fitness instructors. So I was able to have time off which I'm thankful for and get to recover.
[00:57:20] So, and then Austin is halfway between both families. So we made the decision to move here, which we really enjoy. I think that, I don't think I answered your question about how long I didn't seek out PT, but basically because of the pandemic and because of everything, I didn't start PT until it was getting to a point where it was affecting my teaching.
[00:57:42] I had to stop teaching a dance cardio class. I couldn't do the dishes when I was like on my period, it was just too painful to stand up or to hold Elliott. And that's when I finally sought help. And I was like eight months postpartum eight or nine months postpartum. And I'm very glad I did. It's definitely made a big difference.
[00:58:00] So, so doing that now and now it's fun incorporating the work. Like I have been training, yoga, prenatal, and some like Pilates prenatal. And then now I've done a Built Well for Birth certification and kind of on the functional movement with it. And then also doing this pelvic floor certification and incorporating that into like working with moms while I'm also going through PT.
[00:58:24] So I'm getting me to apply it to myself and also to moms, both postpartum and pregnant. And I do try to incorporate a lot of, some of the things that we talk about in your course, just throughout like preparing them. So we'll do exercises in a birthing position so that we're strengthening and like work on holding a position a little bit longer to build up endurance for them.
[00:58:46] I’m a very big proponent of, you know, your whole body and your mind, all of that's connected. So if we need to spend the first 15 minutes just talking and like seeing where you're at and, you know, doing a lot of meditation as a part of it, doing a lot of breathing, but wanting to build, to help your body prepare for labor, for it to be a healthy birthing process, to make you feel confident that, but then also set yourself up for a healthy recovery.
[00:59:11] Because the body that you live in while you're pregnant is the same body you have after you have a baby.
[00:59:16] Lisa: Whether or not it feels that way,
[00:59:17] Evelyn: Right. It goes through a lot of changes, but yeah. So, doing a lot of work with that.
[00:59:23] Lisa: Thank you.
[00:59:24] And were there any specific comfort techniques after birth that helped ease the pain or discomfort? Any tips you'd like to share along those lines?
[00:59:36] Evelyn: Yes. There was this essential oil, like lavender salt that or like bath flowers and stuff that our midwives gave us, which I can send you the link of what they sent us, because you would like brew it like a tea, and then you put it in the water with you.
[00:59:53] And you actually take like Elliot's first bath was in that also, because it's supposed to help heal is like umbilical cord and heal my skin. And that actually helped a lot with the pain. So I would take baths to help kind of soothe that. And then also the stool softeners is necessary for a long time.
[01:00:10] And then the Tucks pads with the midwife suggested putting like hydrocortisone and Neosporin mixed together to put on the pad, and then the pads have witch hazel on them, which helped heal kind of the incision area. So as far as that physical, the healing, and it definitely that the mental healing, which I think is a huge part of it, you're going through a lot of hormonal changes, but also we talked through with my sister-in-law's Brene Brown has a whole podcast on FFTs.
[01:00:42] I love that. And so she said that to me, they're like, you're going through a lot of FFTs. You one, just left New York. I didn't know if I was going to go back to teaching. I didn't know where I was living. I was a new mom. There were just a lot of FFTs.
[01:00:56] Lisa: So just for listeners, for anybody who, who isn't familiar with FFTs this is effing first times. That's what that stands for.
[01:01:03] Evelyn: Yes. It was very accurate. Just giving yourself grace. And so with the mental, like health healing, just like one, giving myself space. Understanding, like I also knew about postpartum, depression and anxiety. So I knew that that could be like a part of what's contributing to it.
[01:01:19] And so talking, like having the support of other moms, being able to talk to them about things and ask good questions and even friends that like our next door neighbor from New York, we shared a wall with them. We both had, we had babies two days apart. So we thought we were gonna be like raising our kids together. But we were very much texting each other and like supporting each other virtually. A friend from the dance world in New York who had had a baby, like a couple months before.
[01:01:48] So women that were new moms with me was really nice, but also having the support of moms that had done it and you know, my sister-in-law has an 11 year old and all the way down to a three-year old, my sister has a four-year-old, three-year-old and newborn. So just like having the support of people that are there, like in the newborn phase with me, and then having women that are like, we've done it and we've moved on and there's life at the end of the tunnel.
[01:02:13] Lisa: Yes. You definitely need both voices. For sure.
[01:02:18] Evelyn: I think just like giving myself, like praying and giving myself time to heal and offering it up and stuff was definitely, and time. Understanding that this wasn't going to be forever and that I will heal. Like I will get through this. I will get to move again. Cause that was hard.
[01:02:36] I think part of what contributed to my emotional challenging was not being able to move because that is how I process. That's how I process life, was through movement. And I wasn't able to do that. So I think that that was really, that was definitely a big part of the challenge too. So getting to, to breathe through that and find movement in different ways.
[01:02:57] Lisa: I wonder if like, did you ever find yourself feeling scared that like, well, what if it is forever in terms of the physical limitations?
[01:03:06] Evelyn: I mean, part of the, even like the first two weeks, and I remember so many people when I was pregnant, they're like, you're gonna bounce back cause I gained a lot of weight. And I had a very big baby and I remember people were like, "You're gonna bounce back so fast." And like, what if I don't? I mean, I'm a fitness instructor but like, I don't know what my body postpartum, like, I don't know that like unknown side of that is very real and it's like, very real, being a dancer your whole life, and then having your body, all of a sudden, not be this like fit human and recovering, like when you have a baby it's different when you're recovering.
[01:03:40] Like, I don't know. I don't know what my body's going to be like or how long this is going to last for. Was definitely like a hard space to be in and I am very thankful. I mean, I gained like 55 pounds, but I lost 60 within four months. So it's breastfeeding is magic.
[01:03:58] Lisa: I just want to mention, it's doesn't work that way for everybody, but for some people you're one of the lucky ones.
[01:04:03] Evelyn: Yeah. Yeah. It does not work for everybody. I also went back to teaching, which contributed to my pelvic floor dysfunction
[01:04:12] Lisa: It's a tradeoff.
[01:04:15] Evelyn: I was thankful I was able to recover and heal well and was able to get physically back into shape. But the, like the quickness that I did it did contribute to some of the pelvic floor issues that I have now, which is why I would do things differently in the future and how I work with the moms now. So.
[01:04:36] Lisa: Thank you. Well, as we start to wrap things up, I would love for you to share a little bit more details about how people can find the work that you're doing. What are the ways that they can work with you, and then anything else that you haven't gotten to share? That'd be great.
[01:04:50] Evelyn: Yeah. So my company is called Spaces of Fitness. So you can find us on Instagram @spacesoffitness is the tag, as well as the website is spacesoffitness.com. If you didn't hear earlier, my dance company is Spaces of Fontana. That's my maiden name. So it all ties together. And through the website, you're able to book sessions directly. I recommend all women to do or anybody to do a consult, a free consult first it's a 30 minute consult just to get to know each other, to see how we can work together, where you are within your journey. And then from there we can, we'll be able to book sessions. I obviously do create pre and postnatal, but I also have like yoga, Pilates, and then functional movement training clients that are not moms as well.
[01:05:37] So but I have myself and then I am bringing on a couple of other wonderful trainers to work with me that are all very, very well qualified and certified, within the prenatal and postpartum world. So you can book us to find us on there. Or you can email me directly at spacesoffitness@gmail.com.
[01:05:56] Lisa: Wonderful, thank you. I will be sure to put all of that information linked in the show notes for this episode, so people can find it there if you weren't able to jot it down. Great.
[01:06:05] Evelyn: Well, thank you so much, Lisa. It was a pleasure. It's a pleasure for us to get, to share our story. And I am very thankful for you and all of the work that you have done.
[01:06:14] And I told you this before, but every woman that I work with, I refer them to take your course, because it is one of the best courses that I have seen on all of this. And so thank you for continuing to do the work that you're doing and sharing it with everyone.
[01:06:28] Lisa: Thank you so much. You definitely hold a special place in my heart. Given what we shared before about being the last pregnant person that I touched.
[01:06:37] Evelyn: Pretty crazy.
[01:06:44] Lisa: All right. Thanks again.
[01:06:46] Evelyn: Thank you. Bye Lisa.
[01:06:48] Lisa: Bye.
