Today’s episode is the first time for this podcast to have one mother on the show to share all three of her babies’ birth stories. As a mom of 3, you’ll see how efficiently Traci shares her stories as this is, ironically, one of our shortest episodes. (We suspect that’s because when you’re a mom of 3 you learn to be as time-efficient as possible!) Traci shares how all 3 of her babies’ births were fairly uncomplicated, vaginal births, the first being in NYC and the 2nd and 3rd in Indianapolis. Traci shares how, while her first two had no nursing issues and were actually avid breastfeeders, her third baby surprised them by having pretty significant feeding issues. They soon discovered that he had a condition called Laryngomalacia, where the tissue of the larynx is softer and floppier than normal. This created the challenges with breastfeeding and, later, some speech issues, both of which required some work with a speech therapist.
Episode Topics:
Prior to 1st pregnancy, dealing with auto-immune disorder
Having trouble conceiving due to a medication she was on to control her blood pressure
Being hospitalized with kidney stones in 1st pregnancy
1st birth story:
Going past due date and being told her baby was big
Water breaks and they drive from their Upper Manhattan hospital out to LIJ Katz to hang in the vicinity
Contractions don’t start for hours; they finally check in to hospital
Contractions finally start in hospital, and are super strong
Traci gets narcotics but wishes she had asked Josh to call doula Lisa
Pushing for 3 hours
Breastfeeding her first for almost 2 years, to help with the transition from moving from NYC to the midwest
2nd birth story:
Days of prodromal labor
Laboring in tub and using essential oils (very different experience in this midwest hospital vs. a NYC area hospital from their first)
Getting pitocin to help with progress
Laboring on all fours
Turning off pitocin
Baby born in only 4-5 pushes
3rd birth story:
Getting pregnant only about 7 months after last baby’s birth, so being told to stop breastfeeding once she was 20 weeks pregnant
Walking around 4cm dilated for weeks before labor
Sweeping membranes helps her go into labor about 10 days before due date
She’s 7cm but things aren’t intense; she asks doc if she can get lunch before checking in (drive thru only!)
Getting the epidural
Baby nearly 9 pounds, biggest of three yet born the earliest
Breastfeeding struggles (after the first 2 being easy) -- her son is diagnosed with Laryngomalacia
Doing feeding therapy with a speech therapist and then later speech therapy as well for him
Resources:
Coping with Laryngomalacia Inc. (charity) & support group on Facebook
Traci’s written 1st birth story:
Sponsor links:
Birth Matters NYC Childbirth Education Classes (Astoria, Queens)
Natural Breastfeeding online course at discounted rate (or learn more here)
*Disclosure: Links on this page to products are affiliate links; I will receive a small commission on any products you purchase at no additional cost to you.
Interview Transcript
Lisa: Welcome to the show. Today, I have Traci Stahley with me. She is a former doula client and student, and she gave birth to her first about seven years ago. She's had other babies since then. But they used to live in New York. And they left a few years back before the second was born.
[00:00:17] Right, Traci? You want to go ahead and share how old your others are?
[00:00:21] Traci: Yes. So my first is seven now. Just turned seven a few months ago, and then I have a daughter who turned five last weekend. And then my third child is my son who is three and a half. But we always say we had three in three and a half years.
[00:00:39] Lisa: Wow, great. Well, you have lots of wisdom and experiences to share with us. So launch right into any and all of the birth details you'd like to share with us.
[00:00:51] Traci: Well, prior to becoming pregnant with my first, I had dealt with an auto-immune disorder that caused my blood pressure to be pretty unstable. And so I knew before I even got pregnant that an epidural would most likely not be something that was an option for me, just because of the risk of a drop in blood pressure with the epidural and with mine already being unstable. So we struggled to get pregnant for over a year. We did about six months of some fertility treatments, and then the doctor finally realized that I was taking a medication for my autoimmune disorder that was preventing pregnancy. So we discontinued that medication. And two weeks later I was pregnant. And we moved to New York City the same week that I got pregnant with our first. And so, kind of going into this entirely new environment and culture that I was not familiar with, and also knowing that I was going to have a natural delivery, I knew that a doula was something I would be very interested in, and I was connected with Lisa through a friend, a mutual friend of ours. And so we took Lisa's birthing class and signed on to have her as our doula. And I ended up being hospitalized, when I was 29 weeks pregnant, with kidney stones, which was the first and only time since, but I had kidney stones.
[00:02:22] Lisa: Oh, my gosh. Why during pregnancy?
[00:02:27] Traci: I ended up actually staying in the hospital longer with kidney stones than I did when I gave birth, just because the pain of the kidney stones was causing some preterm labor, some contractions. And so they didn't necessarily need to treat the kidney stones. They just needed to be sure that baby was safe until the kidney stones passed. And so it gave us a good opportunity to practice some of our pain management techniques.
[00:02:50] Lisa: Did you say how many weeks you were pregnant when you
[00:02:53] Traci: Right at 29 weeks.
[00:02:54] Lisa: Okay. Quite pregnant.
[00:02:57] Traci: Yes. Very uncomfortable. And, yeah. So it passed without too much fanfare, and we were sent home.
[00:03:05] And then about 11 weeks later, 12 weeks later, I went past my due date by eight days. And was very large and very anxious to have this baby, and just felt pretty frustrated that he hadn't decided to arrive yet, but also really wanting to avoid those interventions. Lisa had taught us that, kind of, once you start with interventions, those tend to have a domino effect.
[00:03:33] And so really wanted to not be induced. So I went in, I know, one time to check fluid levels with an ultrasound and the fluid levels were still okay. They were okay with not inducing me, but they told me that he would be at least nine pounds. So that was some scary information, thankfully, that proved to not be true.
[00:03:55]But yeah, those last few days were pretty nerve wracking. And so, I woke up early on a Sunday morning, around 6:00 AM, kinda got up, went to the bathroom and just had not slept well and decided to get back to bed, and then woke up around 11:00 AM. And as soon as I got out of bed, I thought, "Oh, I think my water may have broken."
[00:04:15]So I went and told my husband and we kind of gave it a few minutes and I became more convinced that my water had broken and called Lisa. And we talked about it and she said, "Yeah, sounds like your water's broken." But again, knowing that I didn't want an epidural, knowing that if I showed up with ruptured membranes at the hospital, that I would kind of be on the clock.
[00:04:34] Lisa and I kind of talked about it, my husband and I talked about it and decided we would wait it out a little bit longer at home before heading in. My husband was not quite on board with that plan. He tends to be a good bit more cautious than I am. And so the idea that we would know that this delivery was now imminent, and yet we were just hanging out at our apartment was pretty difficult for him.
[00:04:59] We were living in Manhattan at the time and I was delivering at Long Island Jewish. And so I think in his mind the idea of getting stuck in traffic was pretty nerve-wracking, too. And so he was pretty anxious to go ahead and get out at least to the town.
[00:05:15] Lisa: I remember that, that you went out there to kind of hang in the vicinity of the hospital.
[00:05:20] Traci: There was a park in that little town near the hospital, and so I agreed that we could go to that park, but not yet to the hospital. And so I was like walking laps around the track.
[00:05:33] I would try to do like some stadiums on the kiddie slide and ended up like hitting my head, and he was like, "Let's just stick to the lap." So then it started to get dark. I was still not having any contractions. I'm still leaking amniotic fluid. And so I agreed that I would go to the hospital. Well, I think we went and got dinner.
[00:05:53] And then I agreed I would go to the hospital, but I would not go up to Labor and Delivery yet. And so we just kinda went to the lobby and I continued pacing around the lobby trying to get some contractions going. He just kind of sat and rolled his eyes at me. And so finally it was pretty late. It was maybe 10 or 11:00 PM. And we were tired and just decided "Let's just go up, like, let's just go see what they have to say." So quick check confirmed that yes, it is amniotic fluid and that the baby has passed some meconium already. And so I started to get pretty fearful, I think, about the interventions, that they were going to push pretty hard, but thankfully they did not.
[00:06:35] They put us in a room, they got me cozy in my bed and said, "Try to get some sleep." And I was on a monitor. Got my husband kind of, you know, situated on the sleeper sofa.
[00:06:46] Lisa: Do you mind my asking, did they ask you what time your water broke?
[00:06:49] Traci: Gosh, I feel like I'm sure they did. And I may have just said, "I'm not exactly sure" -- because I wasn't exactly sure."
[00:06:59] Lisa: Sure. Sure. Fair enough.
[00:06:59] Traci: I don't know what time it broke.
[00:07:01] Lisa: And not a bad strategy to not know.
[00:07:03] Traci: I think maybe I had a pretty good birthing class instructor who said maybe don't give an exact time. I think I just said, " I think sometime earlier today. I'm not exactly sure." But, yeah, no one said anything to me at all about being on a clock or anything. And so I fell asleep and sometime pretty quickly after I had fallen asleep, I woke up like suddenly sitting up straight in the bed. Panting, screaming. And it was like full force active labor had just suddenly hit. There was no warming up. There were no timing the contractions, they were just one on top of another, no break in between. And that was pretty intense. My husband said he just kinda like sat up to the rush of people rushing in the room, because on the monitor, they had seen that all of a sudden I was having these huge contractions.
[00:07:54] So I, at that point asked for help. "I don't, I don't know what you could do, but I need some help." And so they gave me some kind of narcotic injection -- I don't really remember what -- which, in hindsight, I wish, instead of that, I had thought to say, "I want my doula." Because what happened was, I was still experiencing all of the contractions. It wasn't really touching those at all. But I was now so groggy in between the contractions that I couldn't communicate what I needed to my husband. So I think in hindsight, yeah, I probably wouldn't do that again. It just felt like it was just such a sudden, intense thing. I had no warmup for it. And another thing that I wished I had done would be for my husband and I to have discussed, like, "If I'm not able to communicate with you what I need, then I need my doula," because I remember like hours of this.
[00:08:52] I remember every time I would be like fully awake in a contraction thinking, "I want Lisa," and then by the time the contraction ended, I was so groggy, I was like passed out again until the next contraction. And I couldn't talk to say, "Call Lisa!" Finally, I think by the time I was at like eight or nine centimeters, my husband said, "Do you want me to call Lisa?"
[00:09:14] Lisa: I guess I forgot that I got there that late. I was thinking I was there for longer than that. Wow.
[00:09:22] Traci: Yeah. I think you came in, like, as I was pushing. If I remember correctly. But I pushed for three hours. So I think you were there for all of my pushing. So yeah. I pushed for three hours and he was born and he had passed meconium.
[00:09:37] Another funny thing that happened to me was that my OB was just this old man, the only one in the practice. And I asked him repeatedly throughout my pregnancy, "What happens if you're not on call when I deliver?" And he just would always say, "I'm always on call." And the weekend I went into labor, he was at his daughter's wedding out on Long Island.
[00:09:56] And so the doctor who delivered me was just a resident, I think, and her demeanor was just very tough. My husband jokes that he felt like he was stuck in a football huddle. Just very like, "Come on, you can do this, come on, you got to push harder." And it's funny how, if you had told me that going into it, that that would be my experience, I would have really felt "I am not going to respond well to that." But in the moment, I think it was exactly what I needed. And it, it worked.
[00:10:26] I was like, "Okay, I can do that." I also remember one other thing. Right at shift change, at seven, a new nurse came in. I had been pushing for two hours at that point. And that nurse told me, "Don't push as soon as you feel the urge. Wait. Count to three -- or count to five," I think -- she would count for me, and then let me push. That was pretty annoying at the time, because when you feel that urge to push, you want to push. But I was so exhausted by that point, it let my pushes actually be a lot more effective. And that was when it was like, "Okay, now he's moving. Now we're getting somewhere."
[00:11:00]So thankfully he was born without any other interventions, an episiotomy or forceps or the vacuum or any of that. He had passed meconium. So they did take him really quickly, kind of suctioned out a little bit and then brought him right back and everything got easier from there.
[00:11:16] I always say like, pregnancy was really hard and then finally, like not being pregnant anymore, recovery just felt so easy, because I was just so glad to not be pregnant anymore, and to have that delivery behind me.
[00:11:30] So he latched on really well right away and was an avid breastfeeder for nearly two years. And then I was pregnant with our second and we left the city. So we knew that we would be leaving New York City and moving to the Midwest.
[00:11:46] And I just wanted to keep some consistency and comfort for him. So I kind of had made that goal in my mind that I would breastfeed him through our transition to our new house, but that then I would need to be done with that because I was pregnant, and pretty far along in my pregnancy with my second child.
[00:12:04] And so I weaned him just a few months before he turned two.
[00:12:09] Lisa: The narcotics that you had -- did you see any sleepiness when he was born?
[00:12:16] Traci: No.
[00:12:16] Lisa: Great. I guess it had enough time to kind of wear off, or it was a really low dose or something. Yeah.
[00:12:20] Traci: I remember them checking me and saying that I was not very dilated. I think I was maybe at six, five or six. And so they felt comfortable saying we can give you this now is going to wear off by the time -- and it did. I mean, I think it wore off right around midnight and he wasn't born until 8:00 AM. I think it was just enough time for it to get out of his system.
[00:12:39] Lisa: Great. Well, feel free to go on into the second.
[00:12:42] Traci: Yeah, so we were living in the Midwest and pregnant with my second. So my pregnancy with my daughter was much, much easier. And I, as the due date got closer, we kind of started having some, a few days of the prodromal labor.
[00:12:59] And I would start to time it and then fall asleep and realize that it had not been labor because I fell asleep. And so I talked with a doula friend of mine here and she recommended some positioning that I could lay in. She just kind of said, it sounds like baby maybe isn't in the ideal position.
[00:13:16] And so I was able to do some positioning with one knee up high on the pillow and would just kind of fall asleep in that position for a few minutes. And that seemed to do the trick. So we headed in on her due date and called the doctor on call and kind of told him what I was experiencing. I had been checked earlier that morning and was already at about five or six centimeters, I think, but not having contractions consistently.
[00:13:45] And so once I called him and said, like, "It's my due date, I'm already at this many centimeters. I'm having prodromal labor," he said, "Just come on in." So we went in and it was an amazing hospital that we had chosen here that's very natural-friendly. And so I had told them when I called in, I said, I really want to labor in the tub. And so they had it filled and ready for me in my room. They offered me essential oils and they also have a full menu of food and beverage that they let you eat and drink in the pool while sniffing essential oil. It was like, amazing.
[00:14:18] Lisa: Okay, I'm moving to where you live. That's awesome.
[00:14:20] Traci: It was such a different experience than my experience at Long Island Jewish, where it just kind of was like, "Okay, you're not having an epidural, right? Great, good luck." There were no other supports, I felt like, so. This hospital was just amazing. And so while I was in the tub, my water broke,
[00:14:41] I was just having this lovely experience in this nice warm tub and sniffing essential oils and eating and drinking whatever I wanted from their menu. And my water broke. I didn't realize it at first, but my contractions suddenly got much more intense.
[00:14:59] And so I hopped out and they checked me. Confirmed, "Yes, your water has broken." And so at that point then I wasn't allowed to be in the tub anymore. But they did let me labor on all fours on the bed, which was really beneficial for me. So at that point I was still kind of stalled out, just not really progressing, even though I was having pretty intense contractions.
[00:15:21] And so they offered me Pitocin, and I, for whatever reason just said, "Yeah. I mean, let's try it." I felt like I was so close anyway, that if I could just get that little boost, that that might help this baby come on out. And so we did Pitocin with no epidural still, for this delivery either.
[00:15:37] And it was definitely intense. I remember still being on all fours and just saying, "Okay, no, that's enough Pitocin, turn it off. I think that's good." So like, we got what we needed out of it. And so they did, they turned it off for me then, after I said, "No, we're good." And she was born very quickly. I think I pushed maybe four or five times.
[00:15:58] And she came right out and she was almost a full pound smaller than her brother. And so that helped, too, I'm sure. But yeah, she was just very, very easy, a much easier pregnancy, much easier delivery. She in fact was so easy that we decided pretty quickly that we would just do that again. So she was only a few months old --maybe seven months old, I think-- when we decided to have a third. And she was also a very avid breastfeeder and did really well with that. So then I was pregnant again and they told me because I had not waited a full year between pregnancies, because it was my third, because I was in my later thirties, and because I was still breastfeeding, those were kinds of some pretty- -you know. Not red flags. I was not considered high risk or anything, but, enough of a reason for them to say, "Let's maybe not breastfeed her past 20 weeks. And so thankfully the same week that she turned a year old was the same week I hit 20 weeks in my pregnancy. So I was able to just wean her - she weaned really easily -- and then had a really uneventful last half of my last pregnancy. And it was just really sweet and great. I knew it was my last, and so I loved being able to kind of just savor all of those last things.
[00:17:20] And so my son- -I had a suspicion all along that he would come a little bit early. I just was gigantic with him. He measured big all along. And I knew with it being my third and that close to the amount of time he would probably come early. So I had measured at four centimeters almost my entire third trimester. I'm not sure my cervix ever actually closed back up after having a second, I was just really dilated that whole third trimester.
[00:17:47] I think I was kind of having that prodromal labor again with him. I had gone in for just a regular appointment and asked them if they would sweep my membranes--and they did-- which I had done with my first as well when I was past my due date. And it was not effective. It did not cause anything. But with my third, it was very effective.
[00:18:07] So I was in that morning, I was at four centimeters. They swept my membranes and I went home and probably did some of that positioning again that had worked really well for my second. And then they called me and said, "The doctor's going to be leaving at four, if you want to come in and have them check you one more time, just to be sure. And just to kind of see what's going on." And so I did, and the doctor checked me and laughed and said, "You are at seven centimeters . And you are the happiest seven centimeter I've ever seen." I was not having any painful contractions. I was just fine. And I said, "Well, I haven't had lunch yet. Can I go get lunch before I go check in?"
[00:18:45] And he said, "Drive through only." And so I did. I was eating quickly, like in the elevator, on the ride up. I remember walking up to registration and saying, "I'm here to check into labor and delivery." And they said, "Okay, why?" And I said, "Well, I'm seven centimeters." And they, like, scrambled, like, grabbing clipboards. "You can fill this out in the elevator. Let's go." It was, it was fun. And like, "Okay, this is happening. And I don't feel any pain right now. This is pretty amazing."
[00:19:13] So I had not had any of the blood pressure issues since delivering my first. They had told me to expect some auto-immune symptoms to kind of go into remission during pregnancy, but that they would come back after the delivery. And they never came back. After my first delivery, after my second, they just never come back. And the blood pressure had been very stable for a few years at this point. I was not on any medication. And so I chatted with my OB. He said he felt very comfortable with me having an epidural. He referred me to the anesthesiologist for a consult prior to delivery. The anesthesiologist that he felt very comfortable.
[00:19:49]So I went in at seven centimeters knowing I wanted an epidural, just because I hadn't ever had one and I kind of, I knew it was my last baby and I wanted to see what that's like. And so I remember when I found out I was seven centimeters thinking, "Oh, no. I'm not going to get my epidural."
[00:20:04] Lisa: "Is there time?"
[00:20:04] Traci: So I remember like in the room, I was still in my clothes. I hadn't been changed into my gown yet saying, "Please get anesthesia in here. I just really, really want an epidural." And so they did, I got it in time and it was just a whole different experience. My husband said to me afterwards, he said, "You were funny the whole time." He said, "In our other deliveries, you stopped being funny at a certain point. But with this one you were funny the whole time."
[00:20:39] Glad I could provide that entertainment for you as I brought your child into the world.
[00:20:43] Yeah, it was really great. It was a really quick and easy delivery. My doctor, as I was pushing, said, "This is the definition of a birthing machine, what you are doing right now. Like, this is amazing."
[00:20:56] And but yeah, definitely a different experience; particularly pushing.
[00:21:00] The difference in pushing with an epidural versus without I think is where I noticed the biggest difference. And especially, like, feeling like pushing when I'm being told to push as compared to pushing when I feel the urge to push.
[00:21:15] And then also not even knowing if what I'm doing is effective. Just feeling like, "Am I pushing? Can someone tell me if this is working, like, what's happening?" So I also, yeah, I feel like it was just a whole different experience.
[00:21:30] So he was born, he ended up being delivered 10 days prior to his due date and came out at nearly nine pounds. He was my biggest baby. And so I was grateful that he came 10 days early and he is my only one that really struggled with breastfeeding and struggled with not gaining weight right away and failure to thrive.
[00:21:54]We got to the point where the pediatrician was having to talk about potentially hospitalizing him if he didn't start gaining some weight soon. And so I went for a consultation with the lactation consultant at the hospital, and she was the one who noticed that he had just this little hacking cough, which I think I just felt like was normal. I felt like babies are born pretty mucus-y and that they just are doing that. And she's the one who said, "I don't think that's what that is. I think that's something different."
[00:22:27] And so based on that, we went back to the pediatrician and she said, "Yeah, I think this is Laryngomalacia," which is, just a weak larynx or a floppy larynx. And so from that, we ended up doing some barium swallow study tests and just realized that he had to work a lot harder to breastfeed. So he was burning more calories and just not being a very efficient feeder. And then he also was at a pretty high risk of aspiration, the way that his larynx just didn't close properly when he swallowed.
[00:22:58]And so because of that, we made the decision that I would pump. And we would thicken his milk so that there wasn't the risk of aspiration. And so that he wasn't having to work quite so hard to get the nutrients that he needed. But still really committed to wanting to give him breast milk.
[00:23:14]We did supplement with some formula and we also started some feeding therapy with him. And I was really grateful that the feeding therapist was also really committed to him not losing the skill of being able to breastfeed. So she still wanted me putting him at the breast, even if I had pumped and knew that he wasn't getting a whole lot of milk, we just wanted him to not lose that skill of being able to latch on and to breastfeed. And they told us he would outgrow that, that the Laryngomalacia does tend to resolve itself. And so he did. It got stronger and he was able to stop needing his milk thickened. And by the time he hit a year old, there were no more concerns about his health or his feeding.
[00:23:56] And he's been very, very healthy ever since. So we've been grateful for that.
[00:24:01] Lisa: When you say, 'feeding therapist,' is that an IBCLC? A lactation consultant? Or a different professional?
[00:24:07] Traci: No, a speech therapist?
[00:24:07] Lisa: Speech therapist. Okay.
[00:24:09] Traci: A speech therapist who just specialized in -- I just felt silly, always saying that my three-month-old was in speech therapy. Like I was one of those overachieving moms who really wanted my three-month-old, you know, communicating. Yeah. So it was a speech therapist. We just called it feeding therapy to make it not sound ridiculous.
[00:24:27] Lisa: Sure. That makes sense. And I assume you were at the same hospital for your third as the second.
[00:24:34] Traci: Same hospital. My husband has jokingly accused me of only wanting a third child because I wanted to go back to that hospital again, which is not entirely untrue. Now, because I did do an epidural, the tub was not an option, obviously, but still the same with the essential oils, the eating and drinking, all of that was still the same while I was in labor. And then just the way they took care of us after delivery, just, I just really appreciated the way they allowed for room-in if that was your preference, but also-- I think that last night that I was there, knowing that I was coming home to two toddlers and I just said, "I really need some sleep. Can you please keep him in the nursery? And here's some pumped milk to give him."-- And they were totally fine with that. The post-delivery care was also just really, really great. And so. Yeah, it's not entirely untrue that that was a large part of wanting a third baby was getting to do that again.
[00:25:28] Lisa: If I recall correctly, I feel like you really knew your stuff in your first pregnancy, you were a big researcher, really on top of things. You came to class knowing so much of what I was teaching. I feel like it was more for Josh than for you. But all that to ask you: how did you find that hospital? Was it really easy to find or did it take some research?
[00:25:47] Traci: No, it is well known here in our city as like kind of the gold standard for delivering a baby. And the location that I chose is specifically a women's hospital. So the only thing happening in that hospital is women giving birth. So there is no emergency room. There's no sickness. It's just for labor and delivery.
[00:26:09] Lisa: Hmm. This might be an odd question to ask, but I'm just curious. I was looking back in my files at our conversations when I was serving as your doula.
[00:26:21] I think that you had mentioned not quite coming to terms with being pregnant in some way, and that you just kind of wanted to focus on the logistics. Do you remember that at all?
[00:26:33] Traci: I do think--because we had struggled to get pregnant, and we had decided that once we moved to New York City, we were not going to continue fertility treatments. And so if we moved to New York City not pregnant, we would immediately begin the process to become foster parents and hopefully adopt--.
[00:26:52] And so I think I had resigned myself to that being how our family would be formed, would be through adoption and foster care, and had really just decided that pregnancy was not going to be what I got to experience, and was still grieving that, and was at my very last appointment with the fertility doctor to basically just kind of close out my file -- because we were moving in two weeks -- and at that appointment was the discovery of: it's this medication you've been taking.
[00:27:21] And so I think I was still maybe experiencing a little bit of whiplash from that.
[00:27:26] Lisa: Yeah. That makes sense.
[00:27:27] Traci: And feeling like, "I didn't really think I was going to be doing this."
[00:27:30] Lisa: And you didn't you say it happened, like two weeks after you got off the medication? That was so fast. I can't believe how fast.
[00:27:37] Traci: He said, " You probably haven't needed any of this fertility treatment." And then, I mean, our other two pregnancies, we did not need any assistance
[00:27:44] Lisa: It clearly was that medication
[00:27:46] Traci: Just the drug. Yeah.
[00:27:47] Lisa: Wow. I wanted to ask you didn't you say your third was the biggest baby?
[00:27:54] Traci: He was.
[00:27:54] Lisa: Yeah. And so, if you don't mind sharing, was there severe injury to the pelvic floor? How was the healing from that?
[00:28:02] Traci: It was fine. I have been very, very thankful that all of my recoveries after delivery have been very easy. I felt really great right away. I've not had any trouble. I have torn slightly with all three and just needed a few stitches but have always healed from that really quickly. He was big, but we always say he was my biggest baby at birth, but then he was my smallest one month old.
[00:28:27] Because that was when we were still really trying to figure out what was going on with feeding and so...my other two had really quickly regained their birth weight and were just eating champs at a month, and he was just still really struggling. No, I, I didn't have any damage or anything from him being big.
[00:28:44] Lisa: And can you go into a little more detail on that experience with the struggling with breastfeeding? Like how soon did you realize there was an issue and how did you find the help that your baby needed?
[00:28:55] Traci: Well, I have an amazing pediatrician who I love, and she has been really great.
[00:29:01] She has breastfed her own three children, so I have really appreciated her just relating to me as a mom who's been there and done that. And at his first pediatrician's appointment after discharge from the hospital he had dropped more than what we would have wanted. And so we started doing a lot of weight checks, coming in like daily for weight checks, even doing like, you know, a weight check prior to a feeding and then after a feeding to see how much he's taking in.
[00:29:27]And it was just a really stressful time. I said to my husband recently, because my kids are older now, and, you know, you're just not at the pediatrician's office as often anymore as they get older and I said, "I feel like she has seen me cry more than some of my best friends, because those were some very intense and emotional appointments of her looking at me and with, you know, a lot of tenderness just saying, "Okay, if, if we don't see any weight gain by Friday, we might need to talk about, you know, some other interventions. We might need to look at a feeding tube." And I think those were just some heartbreaking pieces of information to process. And she was just really, really great for that. I also had an amazing lactation consultant at the hospital, the one who identified that larynx and the cough, and she actually ended up coming over when he went for his swallow study, she just came just to be with me while we watched the swallow study, to see what was going on, and, yeah. I feel like I did have a lot of great support from a lot of really, really, compassionate professionals. And I am very grateful that it was my third baby and not my first. So I, I knew that I had enough milk. I knew that I understood latch and I understood the different things like that. I think if it had been my first baby, I would have been a lot quicker to throw in the towel and say, "Okay, I can't breastfeed. I'm going to just switch to formula," which would not have resolved his issues. But I think just that stress and then also needing to pump -- because I'm literally pumping a bottle and then feeding a bottle. And so it's taking twice as long as just being able to nurse the baby, cause you're taking the time to pump it and then the time to feed it.
[00:31:09] Lisa: And meanwhile, you had two other little ones to take care of. Did you have extra support?
[00:31:15] Traci: My parents were in town for a while. Thankfully, my husband's job is really flexible. And so he was able to be home a good bit more during that season. And we just have great community here. We had great friends. It was a hard season, a stressful season, but we made it through and he's healthy and we're grateful.
[00:31:34] Lisa: How long did he have to go through the therapy?
[00:31:38] Traci: He did the therapy for feeding I think until he was around seven months old. And by that point we were starting some solid foods with him and he was doing really well with that. I think we wanted to keep him in the therapy until we introduced solids to be sure that he would do okay with that.
[00:31:55] And then once we saw that he was fine with some solid foods, some purees, we discontinued feeding therapy. But then he reentered speech therapy again, because of some delayed language a little bit later. So we were able to kind of reconnect with that same therapist and she helped us again.
[00:32:11] And he ended up needing tubes. He had ear infections, a lot of fluid in his ears, and it was keeping him from talking and from walking. And so we got those tubes and within just a few weeks, he was talking and walking and doing great.
[00:32:25] Lisa: Great. Do you have any other tips or insights on your parenting journey to date that you would want to pass along to expectant parents?
[00:32:35] Traci: Yeah. I have two things I would say. The first is that kids are all different. I know it's not, you know, novel information, but they are all different. Every pregnancy for me has been very different. Every delivery has been very different and every baby has just been different and had their own personality. And so just to remember that. And also kind of along those same lines-- I remember when I was pregnant with my first and going through the classes with Lisa that I read something that said that giving birth is kind of like going whitewater rafting and that you cannot control the rapids. They are going to do what they're going to do. But what you can do is arm yourself with a lot of really useful tools, like a raft, and a helmet, and an oar, and a guide. And I felt like that was kind of my strategy was just, I can't control what happens in labor. It is going to be what it is. But I can make sure that I'm educated, that I have a doula as my guide, that I have these strategies in place, that my partner is on board. And I just kind of went into it with that mindset of "I'm as prepared as I can be. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen."
[00:33:46] Lisa: I cannot tell you how much. I love that water imagery, because in the years that have passed since you took class with me, I have incorporated a lot of water imagery. So I might just use that tip, that image.
[00:34:00] Traci: I read it in a parenting imaging magazine somewhere. I don't even remember the source.
[00:34:04] Lisa: That was great. And I was so impressed with how well-equipped you were even before I met you. You had just really equipped yourself to build your confidence. So much of taking classes and having a doula is just being able to relax into the process and trust the process and the huge range of normal and that unexpected so that you just feel less taken aback when things do take unexpected twists and turns, or these rapids, right?
[00:34:33] Traci: Yeah. Right. Unpredictable.
[00:34:35] Lisa: Thank you so much for sharing. I have loved our visit, because I hadn't heard really anything about your second and third births, so this has been really great. I hope you'll pass on my love to Josh and your kids. If you ever visit New York City, I would love to see all of you and hug all of you and have a little reunion.
[00:34:54] Traci: We would love that, too. You were in one of my Facebook memories recently, right after my first child was born. And yeah, I was showing him who you are and what you did. And it was sweet.
[00:35:05] Lisa: Nice. All right. Thanks again. Talk to you soon, hopefully.
[00:35:10] Traci: Thank you, Lisa. Bye.
[00:35:12] Lisa: Bye.